Objection

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On top of my other dislikes and pet peeves, I need to add another one -- i.e., the term "water dog." Not the reason or history but the damn sound of it. What have dogs got to do with water apart from the fact that good owners given them warm baths every so often? Who has pleasant associations of dogs and wetness? The term sounds inane. What if someone decided to call a certain species an Arabian sand dog? Or a Lithuanian milk dog? Would that make any sense to anyone?

I recoiled the instant I heard the term. It made me think of a dog covered with water-filled tumors, and an image of the tumors bursting and spilling water all over the floor when you pick the dog up. Revolting. I'm not kidding or putting anyone on about this -- I really don't care or the sound of it. Obviously not the dogs themselves.

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on April 13, 2009 at 1:02 PM

comment #1

Sabina E says ...

Hah, I agree. Water dog. WTF is that.

I love that cute photo of Obama and Bo running together, though.

Posted by Sabina E at April 13, 2009 1:12 PM

comment #2

Sabina E says ...

also, "water dog" makes me think of Pokemon.

Posted by Sabina E at April 13, 2009 1:13 PM

comment #3

NotImpressed1Yet says ...

You are crazy.

I'm sure you already know this, which just solidifies my diagnosis of you-are-crazy, but they're called water dogs not because they merely "like to swim", but rather because they have a special facility for swimming, one that has been selectively bred for. You know, the same way some dogs are retrievers and some are shepherds.

Posted by NotImpressed1Yet at April 13, 2009 1:15 PM

comment #4

chicagodad says ...

In Portugese, they're known as Cao de Agua. It's just a direct translation.

They're "Gun Dogs." Bred to retrieve water fowl.

Every one I've ever met was a sweetheart

Posted by chicagodad at April 13, 2009 1:17 PM

comment #5

chicagodad says ...

That said, you did say it was a pet peeve, and god knows mine wouldn't stand up to scrutiny from any vantage point outside my own skull, so more power to you.

Posted by chicagodad at April 13, 2009 1:19 PM

comment #6

rr3333 says ...

Water dogs look like Labradoodles.

Obama said he wanted a non-shedding dog because they're hypoallergenic, which is not necessarily true, because you can be allergic to many other things in a dog besides their hair (like its saliva).

At least I can say I'm smarter than our president about 1 thing.

Cute doggie. I want one when my newborns are a little older.

Posted by rr3333 at April 13, 2009 1:20 PM

comment #7

nemo says ...

If you spent 30 seconds looking up Portuguese water dogs in Wikipedia, you'd learn that they are bred and trained to do some pretty amazing things in the water. Like herd schools of fish into nets, retrieve lost nets and tackle, carry messages between boats, or between boats and shore. They're happy to do all this under pretty cold and rough conditions.

Posted by nemo at April 13, 2009 1:24 PM

comment #8

chicagodad says ...

Okay, Jeffrey didn't say he objected to the dogs themselves, just that he had an admittedly idiosyncratic objection to the name "water dog."

I doubt he's gonna go get himself a sack full of puppies to off in his spare time.

Posted by chicagodad at April 13, 2009 1:27 PM

comment #9

Jeffrey Wells says ...

I don't care how well they swim or what they do once they're wet. The term repels me.

Posted by Jeffrey Wells at April 13, 2009 1:28 PM

comment #10

Doug Pratt says ...

If you'd ever been swimming and had your dog leap enthusaistically into the water to join you, the term would make perfect sense. There is a sense of excitement, joy and this-is-going-to-be-fun energy given off by the animal that has no real human equivalent.

Posted by Doug Pratt at April 13, 2009 1:29 PM

comment #11

Geoff says ...

"It made me think of a dog covered with water-filled tumors, and an image of the tumors bursting and spilling water all over the floor when you pick the dog up."

Oh fucking Christ I'm eating lunch here!

Posted by Geoff at April 13, 2009 1:39 PM

comment #12

astrophore says ...

Me, I love the term water dog. It conveys a deep-seated love for, and a proficiency with, water.

I'm now referring to myself as a gin human.

Posted by astrophore at April 13, 2009 1:41 PM

comment #13

berkguru says ...

You get weirder by the day.

The whole tumor thing is just odd.

Posted by berkguru at April 13, 2009 1:42 PM

comment #14

Deathtongue_Groupie says ...

Let's not forget Jeff is a cat person to begin with our family's "water dog" (yellow lab) wanted me to point out to everyone.

And no, not all dogs or breeds like the water.

Perhaps Jeff would be okay with it if it was a vivid water dog...

Posted by Deathtongue_Groupie at April 13, 2009 1:53 PM

comment #15

rr3333 says ...

Not quite sure how Jeff equates Water Dogs with Tumors.

When I think of Ice Cream I think of Jeff's bunyon on his left pinky toe.

Jeff needs a hug. Lets all meet at 67th and Columbus and give Jeff a big group hug.

Posted by rr3333 at April 13, 2009 2:00 PM

comment #16

KC says ...

P.S.: I AM NOT A CRANK

Posted by KC at April 13, 2009 2:02 PM

comment #17

Alfredo says ...

Hmmm. So does the term "Bloodhound" make you think of a dog covered in blood?

Posted by Alfredo at April 13, 2009 2:07 PM

comment #18

BoshBarnetWonkyDonkey says ...

The tumor thing is strange, but I agree with Wells that "Water Dog" sounds daft. Makes me think of dogs with gills or flippers.

Posted by BoshBarnetWonkyDonkey at April 13, 2009 2:19 PM

comment #19

SpinDozer says ...

and a keeshond covered in quiche? Definately a quirk, Mr. Wells.

Posted by SpinDozer at April 13, 2009 2:20 PM

comment #20

doug says ...

"I mean, I brought you all the way out here. It's not like I'm the one who needs swimming lessons. And the fact that you're not even trying, well that baffles me. Really. I mean, what are you afraid of? There's no sharks in here. Suppose a water dog comes walking down the tracks and sees you. What's he gonna say about you, land dog? I mean, if there's times in the world when it's time to take a chance, it's time right now to take a chance. What's this? Water. Get in it. It's just water. Listen, brother. This river goes two ways. That way, and THAT way. You know what I'm sayin'? It's like a puzzle with hands, if you think about it. "

Posted by doug at April 13, 2009 2:22 PM

comment #21

renorambler says ...

Now THAT is a weird pet peeve.

Posted by renorambler at April 13, 2009 2:42 PM

comment #22

nemo says ...

Wouldn't be wondrous if every once and a while one of these pet peeves, quirks, caprices, obsessions, superstitions, what have you, were introduced with words to the effect: "I know this is nuts, I know it's irrational, I know there's no reason the rest of the world thinks like this, I know this is just me and my private weirdness, but ..."

Posted by nemo at April 13, 2009 2:43 PM

comment #23

actionman says ...

If you've been to the Algarve, then you know why this dog is called a "water dog"

Posted by actionman at April 13, 2009 3:03 PM

comment #24

actionman says ...

oh, and wells, this is a hysterical post

Posted by actionman at April 13, 2009 3:03 PM

comment #25

Moises Chiullan says ...

Just think of it in Portugese: Cao de Agua, or run it together, as Caodeagua. Makes it sound like some sorta bat.

Posted by Moises Chiullan at April 13, 2009 3:07 PM

comment #26

topbroker says ...

I think Jeff is having a nervous breakdown online over his "pet peeves." The latest posts are just a wee bit pathological. One day it's the smell of redheads' pubic hair, the next it's bursting tumors. A therapist might help, you know.

And if you don't like the sound of "water dog," just call 'em Porties, OK? By any name they are great, great dogs.

Posted by topbroker at April 13, 2009 3:14 PM

comment #27

topbroker says ...

BTW, this reminds me of a breakdown John Simon once had over the fact that we call films "movies." He ranted, "We don't call books printies, we don't call works of architecture archies!"

Reading that, I thought to myself -- and I was only a teen at at the time -- This man makes a living off his writing; Lord help us all.

Posted by topbroker at April 13, 2009 3:27 PM

comment #28

berkguru says ...

Actionlover - "I love this post Wells"

Posted by berkguru at April 13, 2009 3:35 PM

comment #29

Deathtongue_Groupie says ...

That Washington Square park bench is coming any day now, with timid Tisch NYU students told to search out the local cinema curmudgeon for help with their cinema studies papers but be patient if he starts ranting about fat people, Hispanics with babies, redheads, water dogs or conservatives...

Posted by Deathtongue_Groupie at April 13, 2009 3:42 PM

comment #30

moveable hype says ...

Obama has his 'water dog' - Bush has his 'water board'

Posted by moveable hype at April 13, 2009 3:49 PM

comment #31

moveable hype says ...

^^^My point: there are more objectionable things...

Posted by moveable hype at April 13, 2009 3:51 PM

comment #32

televisiontears says ...

It peeves me to no end when people get their dog from anywhere but a shelter. Really, how many thousands of dogs will be put to sleep today alone, just because some asshole wants the most special little dog for his perfect baby girl? How can someone make a conscious decision not to save a dog's life for no reason at all? Mr. Obama, you disappoint me.

Posted by televisiontears at April 13, 2009 3:51 PM

comment #33

bondjamesbond says ...

If you wanna be a pet peeve nazi, why not go with wasserhund?

Posted by bondjamesbond at April 13, 2009 3:57 PM

comment #34

admiralmpj says ...

I'm sorry televisiontears can't get off his high horse long enough to read a damn paper, and read that Malia Obama is allergic to dog danger, a condition I suffer from myself. This is not a Daddy trying to get his daughter the perfect dog. This is a Daddy trying to get his daughter a dog that she can play with, AND breathe at the same time.

I'm sure the President, though, had no idea he was offending your delicate sensiblities, there.

BTW, iIf you spot a Portuguese Water Dog in a local shelter, lemme know. I imagine they are a somewhat hard breed to find period, much less in a shelter.

Seems to me that the Presidents cut the difference. They got the puppy from a friend (Senator Kennedy), and not a Puppy Mill, and donated a bunch of bucks to a local D.C. Shelter, who I'm sure will be glad for the money and the prestige. I think that should satisfy you televisiontears, if not, I really don't give a damn.

As for you Jeffrey, would you prefer the President issue an Executive Order to the American Kennel Club, mandating a change of a breed that's been in use since (according to Wikipedia) 700 B.C.?? Would that make you happy??

Posted by admiralmpj at April 13, 2009 4:05 PM

comment #35

admiralmpj says ...

I meant to type dog dander. Being on a high horse is so much cooler when I spell correctly.

Posted by admiralmpj at April 13, 2009 4:06 PM

comment #36

CitizenKanedforChewingGum says ...

"I recoiled the instant I heard the term. It made me think of a dog covered with water-filled tumors, and an image of the tumors bursting and spilling water all over the floor when you pick the dog up. Revolting. I'm not kidding or putting anyone on about this -- I really don't care or the sound of it."

How the hell do you get through everyday life? Maybe you're putting us all on, but if not -- do you see a shrink? 'Cuz you probably should, dude.

Posted by CitizenKanedforChewingGum at April 13, 2009 4:08 PM

comment #37

CitizenKanedforChewingGum says ...

"and read that Malia Obama is allergic to dog danger"

Oh Timmy, this water dog would never make it as Lassie!

Posted by CitizenKanedforChewingGum at April 13, 2009 4:10 PM

comment #38

televisiontears says ...

admiralmpj, yeah I totally omitted that and posted hastily. Honest apologies for being kind of a dick.

Overall, I don't give a shit about Obama's dog and generally avoid "news" about it. But I should be informed if I want to have an opinion on even trivial things, and you were right to call me on it. Cheers.

Posted by televisiontears at April 13, 2009 4:23 PM

comment #39

byanyother says ...

Oh boy. Hilarious.

Is this better or worse than how Michelle Norris pronounces her name?

Posted by byanyother at April 13, 2009 4:27 PM

comment #40

sumo-pop says ...

It's a cute fucking dog. Who gives a shit what it's called. From the photo above it would appear that neither the guardian nor the dog give two fucks .They're just having fun. Lighten up already.

Posted by sumo-pop at April 13, 2009 4:43 PM

comment #41

televisiontears says ...

sumo-pop, stuff like this is exactly why I love this blog. As actionman would say, Wells writes intelligently about movies (which I would like to see more of from him) but posts about cowboy hats, tin-foil cakes, and ginger kids named Danny are what keep me coming back You may not agree with him all the time (or ever), but it's always interesting, even as a character study.

Posted by televisiontears at April 13, 2009 5:16 PM

comment #42

James Rocchi says ...

I think the Water-Filled Tumor Dog was a lead character in the aborted CronenKidz "body horror for tots" animated series. He was called Splashy, and would run and play and fetch until the open sores of his agony made him beg for death at the end of every episode.

Posted by James Rocchi at April 13, 2009 5:24 PM

comment #43

admiralmpj says ...

All's good televisiontears. Sorry for being such a prick myself.

Posted by admiralmpj at April 13, 2009 5:32 PM

comment #44

York "Budd" Durden says ...

This site is increasingly a tribute to either madness, or perhaps Andy Kaufman.

Posted by York "Budd" Durden at April 13, 2009 5:33 PM

comment #45

DarthCorleone says ...

James Rocchi>> I was going to equate his tumorous water dog concept with a creature from the Resident Evil video game, but I like your response better. Thanks for the laugh.

For the record, as a swimmer and a fan of dogs, I'm pro "water dog."

Posted by DarthCorleone at April 13, 2009 6:05 PM

comment #46

frankbooth says ...

See, when I think of water dog, I think of a dog all made of water like those horses in Fellowship of the Ring. One that sloshes as it scampers about, barking all bubbly-gurgly. It loves to shake its splashy pelt all over nicely-dressed people at fancy parties, and we all laugh and laugh, because we're slobs and not snobs...

Doesn't everybody think like this?

Posted by frankbooth at April 13, 2009 8:06 PM

comment #47

Nate West says ...

Meanwhile, somewhere in Mogadishu, worried pirates peruse Wikipedia for a direct Somali translation of "Cao de Agua."

They are not happy with what they find there.

Posted by Nate West at April 13, 2009 8:28 PM

comment #48

T. S. Idiot says ...

Took my dog to the vet last week. In the waiting room was someone who resembled a younger, even more attractive Anne Hathaway. (We were, in fact, in AH's hometown.) Anyway, her spaniel, not a water spaniel, though, charged over and stuck his tongue in my mouth. It was wet. Just like water. Are dogs gay?

Posted by T. S. Idiot at April 13, 2009 8:29 PM

comment #49