Reds
Another thing I don't like about Mysteries of Pittsburgh star Jon Foster is the fact that he has red hair (along with the attendant pale skin and freckles). This is another one of my shallow and irrational objections, I realize, but red hair has always been a problem for me. It's not as if I write redheads off when I meet them because I don't -- that would be incredibly stupid -- but there's something a little bit off-putting about them regardless. It's not like I'm Rod Taylor and they're morlocks. But I do tend to say to myself when I meet a redhead, "Oh...okay. Well, grow up and get past it." Except I don't.
I love the almost pumpkinish shade of Tilda Swinton's hair in real life, but it's a kind of blockage at the same time. Cate Blanchett may be a redhead (not sure) but I know I tend to respond to her more favorably when she's blonde -- I distinctly remember recoiling when I saw her red hair in the first Elizabeth movie. I loved David Caruso 's performance in Mad Dog and Glory but there's something about his pale freckly skin that's always seemed a bit icky. I've never liked Carrottop. I could never warm to Red Buttons. The only red-headed actor I've really and truly liked without reservation was James Cagney, but the vast majority of his performances were captured in black and white. (I tried finding a color photo of a young Cagney -- the only way I could get one would be to secure a frame capture from Captains of the Clouds.) Rita Hayworth also escaped the prejudice of people like me due to her mostly monochrome resume.
I've always loved Jack Warden (particularly his performances in Shampoo and Heaven Can Wait) and have never allowed this idiotic blockage to get in the way. Ditto Malcolm X -- a man I've admired almost my entire life, and certainly one of greatest spiritual seekers of the 20th Century.
There's a reason, I'm figuring, why I've never had a relationship with a red-haired woman in my life.
Posted by Jeffrey Wells on April 12, 2009 at 8:00 AM
comment #1
topbroker
says ...
Wow, Jeff lets it all hang out, doesn't he? Wow.
Speaking for myself, as a gay man, I think red hair is incredibly attractive -- I'm always especially alert to redheads. So I'll be the yin to Wells's yang here.
Posted by topbroker
at April 12, 2009 8:29 AM
comment #2
Nick X
says ...
I love redheaded women. Redheaded guys are a little uncomfortable to look at, somehow. But I grow up and get over it.
Still, I kind of love this post. That Jeff actually posted it.
Posted by Nick X
at April 12, 2009 8:33 AM
comment #3
Nick X
says ...
Jeff, what about the Rizza character--the villain--played by Damian Lewis in The Escapist? I saw it last night and thought it was actually a quite spectacular movie. That character, it occurs to me now, was cast in part for the visual squirmy discomfort factor of his red hair and pale complexion.
Posted by Nick X
at April 12, 2009 8:36 AM
comment #4
Dan Revill
says ...
Redheaded women are either some of the most striking (in a good way) women you see or the most striking in a bad way.
still, one can't dismiss the beauty of Amy Adams or Isla Fischer. Those two pop to mind when thinking of awesome redheaded actresses.
Still, redheaded men are somewhat unfortunate if it's a really carrot top like red hair. I guess Jeff's got a point...the gingers have no friend in him.
Posted by Dan Revill
at April 12, 2009 9:00 AM
comment #5
/3rtfu11
says ...
Cynthia Nixon is a natual blond but she's really cute when her hair is orange and not styled after Chucky like it sometimes was during the run of SATC.
Posted by /3rtfu11
at April 12, 2009 9:07 AM
comment #6
George Prager
says ...
What about Robert Redford. And Woody Allen (PLAY IT AGAIN SAM is the only movie that really shows his redheadedness. I wonder why.)
Posted by George Prager
at April 12, 2009 9:08 AM
comment #7
MAGGA
says ...
Whoever that redhead in Mad Men is, she's so insanely sexy that typing complete sentence while thinking of impossible.
Posted by MAGGA
at April 12, 2009 9:13 AM
comment #8
Circumvrent
says ...
Good call, Magga. I never though of Jack Warden as a red head - I can't see to picture him in my head as having anything but grey hair, but that can't be right.
And Wells is probably right about Hayworth and Cagney - hard to picture their hair as anything but that lumiscent monochrome.
But you know what they say about redheaded women...
Posted by Circumvrent
at April 12, 2009 9:26 AM
comment #9
Jeffrey Wells
says ...
Redford's career wouldn't have worked out half as well if he hadn't gone blonde in most of his films. It was only in the '90s that he started to let his natural copper-colored hair pop through.
Posted by Jeffrey Wells
at April 12, 2009 9:32 AM
comment #10
lazarus
says ...
The women are all crazy and the men tend to be a bit spazzy. A generalization, I know, but anyone else share that thought?
Posted by lazarus
at April 12, 2009 10:20 AM
comment #11
byanyother
says ...
I happen to love red-headed men. The guy on Grey's Anatomy for instance. But the only actors I can think of aren't very attractive as that goes, so I guess, in a warped way you're kind of onto something with this.
Posted by byanyother
at April 12, 2009 11:09 AM
comment #12
joncro
says ...
You'd feel at home in the UK. We take the piss out of gingers all the time here.
Posted by joncro
at April 12, 2009 11:20 AM
comment #13
Sabina E
says ...
as an Indian woman, may I say how much I love redheads. In fact, i've got a ginge fetish for guys. Pale skin, red hair, BRING IT ON!
Posted by Sabina E
at April 12, 2009 11:38 AM
comment #14
JT
says ...
Christine Hendricks is the most beautiful woman on MM and such a sexy redhead. I know. I'm married to my 2nd one as we speak. THey're amazing.
Posted by JT
at April 12, 2009 11:52 AM
comment #15
topbroker
says ...
I do have to say that I have always believed that our sexual reactions to actors form a huge, usually unacknowledged component of how we assess them as performers. An honest criticism would report that this actor or actress or film gives me a hard-on or makes me wet, or just doesn't. So Wells is practicing what I've preached.
I'll never forget a Pauline Kael quip on Robert Redford in the Seventies, that he was so "alarmingly blonde" that he had "gone past platinum, he must be into plutonium."
Posted by topbroker
at April 12, 2009 12:04 PM
comment #16
Cadavra
says ...
Is anybody maintaining a list of all the things that piss Wells off? So far I've got:
Redheads.
Fat people.
Guys named Danny.
Pink shirts and bowties.
Film grain.
Hotels thst don't accept cowboy hats as reservations.
Restaurants that hate it when you bring your own food.
People who don't know who he is.
Posted by Cadavra
at April 12, 2009 12:26 PM
comment #17
KC
says ...
Oh man, I forgot about the Danny problem. So awesome.
Posted by KC
at April 12, 2009 12:31 PM
comment #18
K. Bowen
says ...
That Ann-Margret. What a dog there.
Posted by K. Bowen
at April 12, 2009 1:05 PM
comment #19
K. Bowen
says ...
By the way, we need to add "psorts bars with gorillas laughing loudly while you're trying to type" to the list of things Jeff hates.
Posted by K. Bowen
at April 12, 2009 1:13 PM
comment #20
K. Bowen
says ...
And what about Jane Fonda and Katharine Hepburn?
Posted by K. Bowen
at April 12, 2009 1:14 PM
comment #21
AndrewOwens
says ...
Christina Hendricks, Maria Theyer, Jessica Chastain, Amy Adams, Isla Fisher... I could not disagree with this post more. I'm on board with the fat people, overly loud laughers and all the rest, but you lost me with red heads.
Posted by AndrewOwens
at April 12, 2009 1:20 PM
comment #22
George Prager
says ...
Alicia Witt
Posted by George Prager
at April 12, 2009 1:23 PM
comment #23
George Prager
says ...
Hates: galumph shoes.
Posted by George Prager
at April 12, 2009 1:25 PM
comment #24
Cadavra
says ...
Rhonda Fleming and Annette O'Toole.
Posted by Cadavra
at April 12, 2009 1:31 PM
comment #25
DavidF
says ...
The chick playing Renee Walker on 24 this year, man.
Posted by DavidF
at April 12, 2009 1:44 PM
comment #26
azmoviegoer
says ...
Julianne Moore in either Short Cuts or Boogie Nights. A true redhead.
Posted by azmoviegoer
at April 12, 2009 2:12 PM
comment #27
btwnproductions
says ...
Fear of redheads was a plotline on SCRUBS this week.
Posted by btwnproductions
at April 12, 2009 2:34 PM
comment #28
byanyother
says ...
Smokers as house-sitters
Dawgs with big dogs
Kids not his own
Steven Spielberg
Eddie Murphy
Posted by byanyother
at April 12, 2009 2:38 PM
comment #29
/3rtfu11
says ...
Don't forget Queen Latifah^^
Posted by /3rtfu11
at April 12, 2009 3:33 PM
comment #30
Bob Violence
says ...
It's a wonder Jeff doesn't get invited to more screenings
Posted by Bob Violence
at April 12, 2009 3:47 PM
comment #31
K. Bowen
says ...
DO I have to be the one to say Gillian Anderson? OK , it's me.
Posted by K. Bowen
at April 12, 2009 9:00 PM
comment #32
Rich S.
says ...
Rita Hayworth (born Margarita Carmen Cansino) was of Latin descent, and her hair was naturally dark brown. The red was purely a studio creation.
Posted by Rich S.
at April 13, 2009 9:36 AM
comment #33
JCEFalconi
says ...
Yeah, it's not just the red hair, it's the red hair plus freckles, makes it easier to see the veins and bile flowing under that transparent vellum they call skin.
Get a tan or go brunette!
Posted by JCEFalconi
at April 13, 2009 10:14 AM
comment #34
yuranet
says ...
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at January 26, 2012 3:32 PM