Famous For Being Fat

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I'm very much at peace with never having listened to a single Jessica Simpson song, including "I Want To Love You Forever." I didn't mind her performance in The Dukes of Hazzard, but I didn't think it was very good either. I really hate conservative-minded entertainers who talk about having conversations with God. Simpson has probably done as much to recruit Taliban followers as Sex and the City or the Charlie's Angels movies. A lot of us believe that the world would be a better place if she'd never become famous for anything.

Why has Vanity Fair put her on the cover of its June issue? And run this story about her? And who wrote the copy that says she's "fighting back against unflattering tabloid portrayals" -- i.e., Vanity Fair-speak for the fact that Simpson became fat last year and that people took pictures of her. And who decided to describe the photos in the piece as Simpson "showing off her God-given assets"? The wearing of dresses is showing off assets?

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on May 5, 2009 at 11:52 AM

comment #1

Colin says ...

The world would be a better place without her, Paris Hilton, and the Disney Kids pretending to be movie stars.

Posted by Colin at May 5, 2009 12:15 PM

comment #2

CinematicallyCorrect.com says ...

While I definitely agree that Simpson is famous simply for being famous & should go away immediately...isn't it a bit much to say she has helped recruit Taliban members? I know it's an attempt at a joke...but dude, that's harsh.

Besides, she's hot again so why not slap her big fake cans on the cover?

Posted by CinematicallyCorrect.com at May 5, 2009 12:20 PM

comment #3

mccool says ...

So it's ok when Mr. Harvard proselytizes and waxes existentially about the meaning of life, but it's not ok for Jessica Simpson to talk about her beliefs? Why, because they're less digested, less mulled over and less intellectual? Ok, that's fair. But what about stars who have clearly spent a lot of time thinking about their faith? They're not allowed to talk about it?

Toback's thoughts have been pondered and chewed for millenia, amounting to nothing but a round of intellectual masturbation. And he knows this. He's not revealing anything, but he can;t help himself from saying it anyway. So really, who's more insufferable?

Posted by mccool at May 5, 2009 12:23 PM

comment #4

Colin says ...

I don't like Toback anymore than Simpson but I can avoid Toback on the 6 o' clock news too. Why CNN needed to run with its "Is Jessica Simpson fat?" story is beyond me.

Posted by Colin at May 5, 2009 12:31 PM

comment #5

actionman says ...

I've got nothing against Simpson. She's hot. She's got a great singing voice. Sure, she can't act, but who really cares? The "fat pictures" weren't anywhere near as "bad" as people made them out to be. What red-blooded, heterosexual male would be turned off by Simpson if she wasn't rail thin? Not me, anyways. She's hot, always has been hot, always will be hot.

Posted by actionman at May 5, 2009 12:32 PM

comment #6

Rich S. says ...

Can we please just rename this site "Hollywood Schadenfreude" and get it over with?

Posted by Rich S. at May 5, 2009 12:37 PM

comment #7

nakedmanatee says ...

mccool, whether you think Toback's thoughts on life and the cosmos are "revealing" or not, he's still making his case a hell of a lot better than Simpson's chirpy "I talk to God routine." I got the impression that Toback had at least thought about what he was going to say, as opposed to Simpson who more than likely is just repeating lines she heard from her father, who used to be a preacher, before he started whoring out his daughter.

Posted by nakedmanatee at May 5, 2009 12:44 PM

comment #8

mccool says ...

manatee ... i said that ... but Wells didn't make that distinction. I'm sure Toback has spent a lot more time that Simpson thinking about this stuff--ACTUALLY thinking about it. But in the end they're both talking about their beliefs. Nitwits who've done little reflecting (like, presumably, Simpson), well no one wants to hear from them, I agree. But there are plenty of folks who do believe in something who have spent plenty of time thinking about it, and yet I don't think most people here would want to listen to them either (unless they were espousing some sort of agnostic, atheistic, humanist viewpoint). In other words, Wells and others have closed themselves off to other viewpoints. That's soul-dimming stuff, as much as listening to Simpson talk about her conversations with God.

Posted by mccool at May 5, 2009 12:55 PM

comment #9

Daniel Zelter says ...

"Why has Vanity Fair put her on the cover of its June issue? And run this story about her? "

I'm guessing it's because of a certain Eminem video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2o8UgIgI8BU

Posted by Daniel Zelter at May 5, 2009 12:55 PM

comment #10

actionman says ...

is that the real D.Z.?

Posted by actionman at May 5, 2009 1:01 PM

comment #11

Sabina E says ...

Ohhhhh boy. Jessica Simpson is sooo NOT fat. The media have such a messed up, skewed view on women's bodies.

Just come to Shit Louis (where I live) and you're going to see REAL fat people. Jessica has a killer body and it's really stupid that people are ragging on her for her weight. Anyway, she's pretty, but can't act worth a shit.

Posted by Sabina E at May 5, 2009 1:14 PM

comment #12

slutsky says ...

How was this not a post about Dom DeLuise (RIP) is what I want to know.

Posted by slutsky at May 5, 2009 1:15 PM

comment #13

Billy Joel says ...

The big mysteries are Hilton, Nicole Richie and Kim Kardashian. All no-talents who are famous for sleeping around. If there was no such thing as 'reality tv', then nobody would have a clue who there are.

Simpson at least has a nice singing voice & is nice to look at.

Those other whores ... sorry ... ladies ... are famous for being whores.

Posted by Billy Joel at May 5, 2009 1:17 PM

comment #14

Sabina E says ...

I remember Simpson rose to fame in the late 90s for her pop music. So at least she became famous for doing something, unlike Parisite "The Whore" Hilton, Nicole RATchie, or Kim KardASSian.

Posted by Sabina E at May 5, 2009 1:28 PM

comment #15

KC says ...

Jessica Simpson's first dalliance with fame was as a third-rate Britney in the late nineties and then the thing that gave her a second wind and made her a fixture among the lowlights of pop culture was that reality show where she became famous not for being "fat" but for hitting upon the magic combination of being fuckable and stupid, the perfect woman. Get yer shit straight Wells.

Posted by KC at May 5, 2009 2:26 PM

comment #16

CitizenKanedforChewingGum says ...

"but for hitting upon the magic combination of being fuckable and stupid"

If that's magic, then holy fuck, am I living the life of Houdini...

Posted by CitizenKanedforChewingGum at May 5, 2009 2:28 PM

comment #17

bfm says ...

It used to be that getting a Vanity Fair cover really meant something. Remember the fuss when Gretchen Mol got her day and everyone felt she was so undeserving? Maybe Nicole Kidman threw a hissy fit and bailed out leaving them with a gap to fill.

The whole Jessica Simpson fat thing is SO uninteresting to me. Well endowed singer with meager talent gets photographed wearing unflattering jeans and segues it into a Vanity Fair cover...it's like the pitch for an 80s telemovie.

Posted by bfm at May 5, 2009 2:34 PM

comment #18

corey3rd says ...

she's a straight to video flop. Her country music career hit the skids. and she's been a jinx on the Dallas Cowboys (that's a positive in my book). The only thing Jessica SImpson has going is the sense that she'll be working for Vivid Video

Posted by corey3rd at May 5, 2009 3:05 PM

comment #19

Deathtongue_Groupie says ...

"I'm very much at peace with never having listened to a single Jessica Simpson song, including "I Want To Love You Forever." I didn't mind her performance in The Dukes of Hazzard..."

Really, you'd rather waste 90 odd minutes that could have been spent watching the first half of Seven Samurai again versus the 02:30 the average pop song takes? Especially when you consider that you can polish off the song while you pick cheese from between your toes.

You have a strange sense of priorities, brother.

Posted by Deathtongue_Groupie at May 5, 2009 3:57 PM

comment #20

bmcintire says ...

I stumbled across this magazine today in the lobby at work:

http://www.celebstaff.com/

Jesus H. Christ! I thought it was a parody magazine at first. It has apparently been in circulation for over two years (and has somehow not gone under yet)! It amazes me that the publishing industry is even remotely surprised that they are sinking.

Posted by bmcintire at May 5, 2009 4:25 PM

comment #21

Vince Keenan says ...

Jess's expression in every VF photo reminds me of Donald Sutherland's story about working with Fellini on Casanova. The director's primary instruction to him was, "If you're not talking, you can close your mouth."

Posted by Vince Keenan at May 5, 2009 6:07 PM

comment #22