comment #1

Josh Massey says ...

Media screenings?

comment #2

Jeffrey Wells says ...

If they're smart, yes, Show it to the media like it's the new Transformers. Don't let on that anything's wrong. Put on their brave face.

comment #3

MovieBob says ...

The one piece of this I really want confirmed true or false is the idea that the Hasbro people - who own the toy property - were upset with it. That just sounds incredibly... "odd" to me.

I mean, Hasbro is in this to sell more toys. They don't actually care about it's objective QUALITY, do they? So long as it's big, loud butts-in-seats stuff with enough characters and gear for them to reconstruct, oughtn't they be psyched? I mean, "Transformers" is the most embarassingly awful big-studio film of it's type since Batman & Robin... but it made a fortune and probably moved a shit-ton of plastic for Mattel. So if Hasbro is mad at Sommers etc. over Joe, what does that MEAN?

Is it literally SO bad they don't even think it can sell figures to the kids? Or is it that, whatever Sommers went off and made (for awhile he was talking in terms of the 60s/70s "scifi" Bond movies as the main influence) isn't all that "toyetic" (actual word)?

comment #4

actionman says ...

"I mean, "Transformers" is the most embarassingly awful big-studio film of it's type since Batman & Robin... "

Um...no...but thanks for playing!

comment #5

Aladdin Sane says ...

MovieBob, you meant Hasbro in regards to plastic moving...not Mattel.
Mattel just gets smart licenses, like The Dark Knight and Barbie. :-P

comment #6

Edward says ...

Transformers was pretty awful, but Van Helsing was beyond awful. Doesn't give much hope to GI Joe.

comment #7

Deathtongue_Groupie says ...

It's amusing just how much of an industry bubble you would have to live in to assume that the tempest on the blogs (AICN, Murphy's and HE) is the extent of this. Like earlier incidents like this, I'm sure if I started surveying mine and the wife's friends they'd have no idea about the buzz on this film. Hell, many probably wouldn't even know or had forgotten the film was coming out.

Usually, it takes a week or two for these things to seep into the general population unless the MSM gets ahold of it during a slow news cycle. I agree at this point the best thing is for the film is to be trashed badly so when it turns out not to be the disaster everyone has heard about it benefits simply from the lowered expectations.

comment #8

Circumvrent says ...

Not AT ALL related, but I saw this yesterday, and couldn't believe how jaw-droppingly awful it was:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_cewPNskYg

actionman, if you could find some way to justify the money and effort spent to bring that "vision" to life... that'd be gold star material right there.

comment #9

actionman says ...

Circumvent -- what is that youtube of? I can't look at videos when I'm at the office...

comment #10

Rich S. says ...

Circumvrent, have you seen the extended trailer where Shia is telling Bumblebee that he won't be taking him to college? It makes that YouTube clip look like Seven Samurai.

I'm no Transformers hater. I think it does reasonably well what it sets out to do. But then I see clips like these and, oy.

comment #11

Circumvrent says ...

I can't believe there's something out there worse than that. I just can't.

actionman, I can't really explain the clip since I'm not sure what it is I'm saying. But it's bizarre and not all that good. Bay doesn't seem to have any idea how to shoot something comedic.

I have remained miraculously Transformers-free the past few years. I gave the first one about a half hour - when the robot turned into a boombox on Air Force One, I gave up. But I do have friends - intelligent, well-meaning friends - who stand by it, so maybe the problem's with me.

comment #12

MovieBob says ...

Wow.

It's like someone gave them a production note reading: "We don't think Wheelie is as annoying as he COULD be... work on that."

This is what I'm talking about. There's just no POSSIBLE way Sommers did something worse than this. There just isn't.

comment #13

Rich S. says ...

The extended trailer was on AICN for a few hours before the official version was released. Harry swept it under the rug by saying that the first one he'd been sent was a crappy YouTube thing, but now you could see it in "glorious Quicktime." What he neglected to mention was that the original thing he was sent included about two minutes of the scene in the garage, which was limited to about 15 seconds in the official release.

Find the official final trailer for Transformers 2 and watch the first 15 seconds, where Bumblebee plays "I'm So Excited." Now imagine that going on for two minutes, with the car crying and Shia doing the whole "it's not you Bumblebee, it's me" routine. If they're smart, they'll cut that scene from finished film.

comment #14

Travis Crabtree says ...

"The film is what it is and there are millions who will pay to see it no matter what..."

Sounds like someone we know.

comment #15

actionmam says ...

Transformers will be on my updated Top 20 list for this decade next year. It is that good.

comment #16

actionman says ...

I love how I've affected the on-line lives of SO MANY PEOPLE on this blog that people have resorted to creating blog-names that mock me. I'm glad I've made this much of an impact on some of your lives. It means that hours after some of you have logged off this site, you're still thinking about me. I'm touched. I'm flattered.

Just wait until some of you see what I've got in store next....!

comment #17

Rob Ross says ...

Ever see that Family Guy where Peter is front row watching "Failure To Launch" and he stands up says DONE! and walks out? I may sneak into TF2 just to pull that stunt when this scene is on.

That clip was the corniest thing this side of Iowa. Michael Bay makes George Lucas's swinging with the monkeys look like Oscar gold.

comment #18

actionman says ...

at least Bay would've made the "swinging with monkeys" scene look REAL.

comment #19

Jonah says ...

So now Bay is better than Spielberg?

Question, Actionman. How would you grade each of Bay's films? You're a guy that knows movies, unquestionably. But I have to know what you'd grade his lesser films.

I'd go with:

Bad Boys C
The Rock B
Armageddon D
Pearl Harbor F
Bad Boys 2 never saw it
The Island D (only because Scarlett is hot)
Transformers D

comment #20

NightWriter says ...

I like most of your grades, although I'd upgrade PH to a C (because I liked the focus on WWII accuracy) and Transformers to a B. It was an excellent popcorn movie that held my interest, and I'm not the target audience for this movie. I look forward to T2 on a hot July weekend day.

comment #21

actionman says ...

Never said Bay was "better" than the Beard. I think we all know that Spielberg is a much more comptent filmmaker overall that Bay. But Bay does seem to pay more attention to his special effects lately than Stevie -- some of the CGI shots in Indy 4 were fuckin' atrocious.

Bad Boys B+
The Rock A+ (best film he's ever made)
Armageddon C
Pearl Harbor C (move stinks but the attack sequence is still brilliant)
Bad Boys 2 A
The Island B+
Transformers A

It's clear that I like Bay and you don't. This isn't really news.

comment #22

Chase Kahn says ...

"at least Bay would've made the "swinging with monkeys" scene look REAL."

So now Bay is an auteur because he has a great visual effects department.

"The Island B+"

An unoriginal concoction of past cult films from the 70's with embellished action scenes complete with a CG-sheen makes that film a B+?

comment #23

shermy says ...

I'm sure if I started surveying mine and the wife's friends they'd have no idea about the buzz on this film.

This also strikes me as a film that will live or die with the "Alien vs. Predator/Freddy vs. Jason" crowd. I just don't see it holding much appeal for general moviegoers.

comment #24

actionman says ...

i thought the island was enjoyable though far from perfect

i like realistic looking flying jet-bikes. and i liked hos bay camera-fucked ScarJo. So...yeah...B+

comment #25

actionman says ...

bay is an auteur because there is a personal stamp (both thematic and artistic) on all of his films. you instantly know that you're looking at a movie made by michael bay.

have a great weekend everyone!

comment #26

Chase Kahn says ...

So, I'm just curious, actionman. In 2007 -- you gave "Transformers" an 'A'. Where would you rate other '07 films like "Zodiac", "There Will Be Blood", "No Country", "Jesse James", etc.?

comment #27

Jonah says ...

Don't get defensive. You defend Bay anytime somebody bashes him, we have the right to respond.

I was curious what you thought of his films. I agree that The Rock is easily his best, but some of those grades you give him are insane.

comment #28

DeeZee says ...

actionman: I agree. Transformers is worse than Batman and Robin, since B+R just suffered from bad writing, while TF has bad everything. And the only ranking Transformers would make is the Top 20 Wastes of Time, Money, and FX. As for Lucas vs Bay, say what you want about the former director, but at least I believe in his friggin' cartoon worlds, while Bay's robots just look like cg-fied set pieces.

Circumvrent: Mouse Hunt meets Short Circuit...?

Chase: "An unoriginal concoction of past cult films from the 70's with embellished action scenes complete with a CG-sheen makes that film a B+?"

Now you know why people give QT a pass.

comment #29

Chase Kahn says ...

"bay is an auteur because there is a personal stamp (both thematic and artistic) on all of his films. you instantly know that you're looking at a movie made by michael bay."

But when that personality is exhibited by ineptitude and childish, CG-fallback filmmaking, is said director still an auteur?

And I believe an auteur doesn't make two excessively bad films (as admitted by yourself, although I believe them all to be bad with the exception of The Rock) than I think it lessens their impact.

comment #30

CitizenKanedforChewingGum says ...

An A for BB2 would qualify as complete insanity, IMHO.

I'd give it an F, except that somehow that letter seems waaaay too far up the alphabet to atone for that atrocious experience.

I won't even get started on the rest; I'm going dark on all Bay talk for awhile...in two short weeks, "that one" going to be plastered over pages and pages of all entertainment-related sites.

I've reluctantly come to accept this as fact. So I need to fast or something.

comment #31

DavidF says ...

DeeZee is not nearly as fun as DZ.

Transformers is not worse than Batman & Robin but whatever...it's not as much fun to debate with you as Real DZ so I'll let it be.

Bay is what he is - he makes big, stoopid action films and sometimes they're a lot of fun.

Personally, I really like The Rock and enjoy Armageddon; both are perfect for what they are. I know Transformers bitterly divides people but despite an inherently non-sensical plot I thought it was great fun and aside from a few miststeps (eg bumblebee pissing) not too dumb. I don't expect it to appeal to everyone. It could have used more big robots kicking ass but I expect that problem to soon be rectified.

AUTEUR might be too strong a word for Bay but he certainly does have a specific style.

Actionman can correct me but as much as he loves Bay I don't think he's saying he's better than Spielberg or Cameron, for example. Those guys are the A-list. Then you have Bay. Then you have all the guys who only wish they could be as good as him (Ratner, McG, Sommers etc).

Let's just let Bay be Bay.

comment #32

televisiontears says ...

"Transformers will be on my updated Top 20 list for this decade next year. It is that good. "

I'm seriously interested in seeing this list.

comment #33

/3rtfu11 says ...

Now you know why people give QT a pass.

Unlike you we like his shit.

comment #34

actionmam says ...

After more reflection, I have updated my rankings. I wasnt thinking about the impact some of these masterful films will continue to have for decades to come. Teachers will show Pearl Harbor in History classes. Bad Boys is the ultimate film to ease black-on-black violence. Armageddon will be hailed as Nostradamic when the world is burned to shreds in a nuclear holacaust in 15 years. Transformers is the ultimate portrayal of technology gone wild!

Bad Boys A+
The Rock A+
Armageddon A+
Pearl Harbor A+
Bad Boys 2 A+
The Island A+
Transformers A+

comment #35

televisiontears says ...

^^^ You almost fooled me, sir.

comment #36

Chase Kahn says ...

We need more actionmam on this site...

comment #37

actionlover says ...

actionmam is AWESOME!

comment #38

Steven Kar says ...

Isn't box office performance the clear and undisputed indication of how good or bad a filmmaker is?

comment #39

actionmam says ...

Yes it really is Steven - excellent point.

And Michael Bay has $1.1B in lifetime box office receipts for only 7 masterpieces.

He is the George Brett of film making.

His GDP is higher than Estonia's!

comment #40

Circumvrent says ...

You guys are mean - I like actionman.

comment #41

CitizenKanedforChewingGum says ...

I do, too, Circ, but I have to cop to laughing out loud at the "George Brett of filmmaking" line...

Actionmam is far more entertaining than DeeZee.

comment #42

Geoff says ...

Dammit actionman, that's way too much love for Pearl Harbor..

Pearl Harbor has great action...maybe 40 solid minutes?

But Holy Mother of God is that film bad. Garbage.

comment #43

Geoff says ...

Oh, my bad, there's an actionmam and actionman. Huh.

comment #21 is best.

Now back to drinking the night away....

comment #44

Terry McCarty says ...

Regarding THE ISLAND, I said it before and will say it again: Bay managed to screw up any chance for an actually-good remake of LOGAN'S RUN occurring for a number of years.

comment #45

mrNo says ...

Sommers is a hack - Van Helsing was one of the worst Summer movies I have ever seen. He should not be allowed anywhere near a movie set.

comment #46

DeeZee says ...

DavidF: "Transformers is not worse than Batman & Robin"

The only thing Transformers has going for it which B+R does not is Megan Fox. And even her scenes are ruined by Shia coming off like a poor man's Jason Biggs.

3rt: "Unlike you we like his shit."

Not at Cannes in '09, though...