Hydrochloric Acid

I'd like to describe the ways in which Rex Reed's review of Funny People is a vile deviation from appropriate respect and fair-mindedness, but it is one of those rare times when I am at a loss for words. He calls director-writer Judd Apatow "the most tasteless no-talent and truthfully alleged 'director' since John Waters and the Farrelly brothers," derides Knocked Up as "abominable" and calls Funny People "a 146-minute mental lapse that should have been dipped in hydrochloric acid in the editing lab." Nobody's "right' or "wrong" in these matters but at the very least Reed's rash and excitable judgments throw the film's virtues (the self-regarding candor and emotional intimacy) out with the bathwater.

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on July 29, 2009 at 12:49 PM

comment #1

Steven Kar Author Profile Page says ...

At least his review of the movie made me crack a smile once or twice; unlike the entire 2.5 hour garbage that was Funny People.

Posted by Steven Kar Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 1:05 PM

comment #2

Terry McCarty Author Profile Page says ...

Sounds like classic Rex. Not all that different from other bad reviews he'swritten over the decades.

Posted by Terry McCarty Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 1:06 PM

comment #3

p.Vice Author Profile Page says ...

You should check out Armond's review, which compares it rather fittingly to You the Living, probably the last close-to-great movie I've seen.

Posted by p.Vice Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 1:08 PM

comment #4

admiralmpj Author Profile Page says ...

Jeffrey, clearly not everyone liked Funny People as much as you. (I hated it.) Clearly not everyone thought it was "candor and emotional intimacy". (I can say that that was what Apatow was going for, but I thought he failed because he was out of his depth..but again, that's me).

But to go from saying nobody's right or wrong in these matters, but in the same paragraph to basically say "if you don't agree with this point, you don't know what you're talking about" is a little disingenuous.

Fine, you don't like Rex Reed's review. Can't we just stick to that?

Posted by admiralmpj Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 1:16 PM

comment #5

diarrhea treatment Author Profile Page says ...

You should check out Armond's review, which compares it rather fittingly to You the Living, probably the last close-to-great movie I've seen.

diarrhea

Posted by diarrhea treatment Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 1:18 PM

comment #6

byanyother Author Profile Page says ...

Knocked Up is a terrible film. Terrible.

Posted by byanyother Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 1:21 PM

comment #7

115thDreamer Author Profile Page says ...

Wow, haven't seen the movie yet, but yes, Rex is a runaway train in that review...just vicious. It's one thing to dislike Seth Rogen, but to call him an "aberration"? That's kind of harsh, I think. And the two previous movies were "moronic"? I don't think so. T40YOV was on TV just the other day, and I ended up watching a good chunk of it again just for a larf. I mean, jeez, that review is so churlish it makes you seem like Ben Lyons in comparison, Jeff - :-).....

Posted by 115thDreamer Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 1:25 PM

comment #8

byanyother Author Profile Page says ...

Being compared the Farrelly brothers and John Waters is a huge compliment, though.

Posted by byanyother Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 1:27 PM

comment #9

Steven Kar Author Profile Page says ...

So we have "Actionman" Vs. "Actionmam."

And now I see that we might have "p.Vice" Vs. "diarrhea treatment"?

Posted by Steven Kar Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 1:29 PM

comment #10

Abbey Normal Author Profile Page says ...

Anyone who would so casually insult the great John Waters is not to be trusted on the merits of comedic film (or really any film at all).

Posted by Abbey Normal Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 1:34 PM

comment #11

Rich S. Author Profile Page says ...

Wow, that goes so far over the top it sounds like a parody of a Rex Reed review.

Posted by Rich S. Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 1:34 PM

comment #12

Deathtongue_Groupie Author Profile Page says ...

I think I can speak for every cinemaphile in the country when I say:

Who gives a fuck what Rex Reed has said about ANY movie???

The man is a caricature of an effete New York City snob who's greatest claim to fame is 10 seconds in the first Superman movie. That and being Mae West before a sex change.

Posted by Deathtongue_Groupie Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 1:36 PM

comment #13

Gordon27 Author Profile Page says ...

"truthfully alleged "director"?

That's the kind of line where he obviously spent way too much time on this; he was gonna just say " "director" " but then said, no, wait, *alleged* director... then went back and threw in a "truthfully" which, linguistically, makes no sense, but feels like a guy trying to sound smart piling gratuitious words in.

However:

"should have been dipped in hydrochloric acid in the editing lab"

That's a funny line. Even if it's the only one in that truthfully alleged "critic"'s review.

Posted by Gordon27 Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 2:04 PM

comment #14

BoshBarnetWonkyDonkey Author Profile Page says ...

It's just not funny either. If you're going to pan something it has to be more imaginative than "This movie is as funny as infanticide". That's like a music critic saying "Her voice sounds like a cat being strangled." It's lazy cliched shit.

I bet he chuckled himself to climax when writing this dirge. What a wet fart.

Posted by BoshBarnetWonkyDonkey Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 2:05 PM

comment #15

Gordon27 Author Profile Page says ...

Glad to see him using "retarded" as an insult, though. I guess people would've complained if he said Schwartzmann was too gay.

Posted by Gordon27 Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 2:05 PM

comment #16

p.Vice Author Profile Page says ...

I've got a ten spot on diarrhea being the new nom de plume of our good friend Glenn Kenny. He's an expert on the subject.

Posted by p.Vice Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 2:07 PM

comment #17

Gordon27 Author Profile Page says ...

Ok, one more...

He rips into every single member of the cast, not just for their performance in this, but for apparently everything they've ever been in... including Jason Schwartzmann, the one person in the movie who starred in a film which nobody will argue isn't great, even if they don't think it is... but Eric Bana gets a pass? That's so silly.

Also:

"criminally unfunny people feigning to be pros"

More bad writing; no matter what you want to say about Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen, it is 100% factual that they are professionals at comedy. A better case could be made that Reed is feigning to be a truthfully alleged "critic". (Incidentally, you pretend to be, you feign being... but, from this review, Reed obviously doesn't have the grasp of English that the average 15-year old netsurfer does; check the sentence where he flips a "to" and a "by" so that it makes no sense at all)

Also also:

"This is a waste of two and a half hours of my life that I will never get back again."

If you willfully go to this movie, despite wholly and completely hating '40 Year Old Virgin', 'Knocked Up', Adam Sandler, Leslie Mann, Seth Rogen, and Jason Schwartzmann, you lose any right to make the above-quoted criticism. You knew what you were in for -- it's not as if the ad lied (everything in his review is in the ad -- who can tell if he even saw the movie?), or hid the presence of all the people he hates so rabidly.

And, yes, he tries to deflect it by saying he's a critic, so he had to see it. But that's obviously bullshit -- I could name 10 obviously-bad movies off the top of my head from this year and be sure that Reed reviewed none of them.

Posted by Gordon27 Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 2:17 PM

comment #18

poseidon72 Author Profile Page says ...

Percentage wise Rex Reed has probably given a negative review to 80% of all the films he's seen in his very long career as a film critic.

Posted by poseidon72 Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 2:39 PM

comment #19

Gordie Lachance Author Profile Page says ...

I thought the whole point of people like Rex Reed and Armond White was to trash good movies so people like us would constantly talk about them and post links to their sites.

Is there something I'm missing?

Posted by Gordie Lachance Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 2:46 PM

comment #20

Phatang! Author Profile Page says ...

Please don't lump Rex Reed in with Armond White! Reed is an idiot. White, while being a grouch, is pretty damn smart.

Posted by Phatang! Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 3:01 PM

comment #21

Edward Author Profile Page says ...

Rex Reed=Asshole.

Posted by Edward Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 3:03 PM

comment #22

dinther Author Profile Page says ...

Have to agree with Deathtongue. Why get so worked up about anything he says? Ever? Just ignore him. Don't click on his review. Remove whatever newspaper that sponsored him from your browser.

As with Bill Kristol or Dick Cheney or anyone who has never created anything or been accountable for anything, but who spouts off angry vitriol -- let him wither and die in his own bile.

The world has passed them by.

Posted by dinther Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 3:05 PM

comment #23

Terry McCarty Author Profile Page says ...

Meanwhile, Patrick Goldstein hopes the movie is as funny as Rex's review:
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/the_big_picture/2009/07/rex-reed-on-funny-people-not-for-anyone-with-an-iq-above-40.html

Posted by Terry McCarty Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 3:48 PM

comment #24

George Prager Author Profile Page says ...

Do you think that either of them (White, Reed) has ever been on a date?

Posted by George Prager Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 3:51 PM

comment #25

Steven Kar Author Profile Page says ...

I don't see what's so wrong about trashing Funny People, a profoundly unfunny, deeply flawed, turgid, languorous movie starring unfunny actors. After all, it is all about opinion, taste and preferences, and Funny People is hardly a masterpiece.

Posted by Steven Kar Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 3:58 PM

comment #26

Monument Author Profile Page says ...

Steven you could really give Rex a run for his money, put your thesaurus away.

Posted by Monument Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 4:18 PM

comment #27

Gordie Lachance Author Profile Page says ...

I hate all Judd Apatows movies. I hate them so much I go see them before they open and then I make sure I'm the first person to post in any thread about them. I hate Judd Apatow so much I can't stop thinking / talking / writing about him and how unfunny his movies are.

There are so many more funny movies out there but I have no interest in them. No sir, I'm just going to keep checking back here to see if anyone's said anything positive about Judd Apatow so I can set them straight.

Does anyone know what Judd Apatow's next movie is? I mean I'm sure it will suck but I want to clear my schedule right now and try to get advance tickets. because I'm sure I'll hate that too. He's sooooo unfunny.

Posted by Gordie Lachance Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 4:23 PM

comment #28

Steven Kar Author Profile Page says ...

Monument,

I was just looking for some attention.

Posted by Steven Kar Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 4:33 PM

comment #29

dixiedugan Author Profile Page says ...

Isn't Rex Reed past his sell by date?

Posted by dixiedugan Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 5:36 PM

comment #30

creepingmalaise Author Profile Page says ...

Rex Reed is still writing reviews? I though he ran off with Jim Nabors to live in Maui.

Posted by creepingmalaise Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 5:41 PM

comment #31

sumo-pop Author Profile Page says ...

He's always been a nasty piece of business. As a critic, I haven't taken him seriously since he panned Last Temptation Of Christ. So in other words, a long fucking time ago.

Posted by sumo-pop Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 7:04 PM

comment #32

DeeZee Author Profile Page says ...

John Waters has talent...at costume design.

byanyother: Well, the Farrelies before that Paltrow/ Jack Black movie, anyway.

Posted by DeeZee Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 7:07 PM

comment #33

DeeZee Author Profile Page says ...

Oh, wait, I meant Me, Myself and Irene.

Posted by DeeZee Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 7:07 PM

comment #34

Myles Author Profile Page says ...

Yikes. Was Apatow the one who caught Reed shoplifting CDs or what?

Posted by Myles Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 8:12 PM

comment #35

Glenn Kenny Author Profile Page says ...

I wouldn't normally jump in under such circumstances, but I just want to assure p. Vice that as of this writing, I haven't even seen either "Funny People" OR "You The Living," although I look forward to each eventuality. Just to keep the record straight. Thanks.

Posted by Glenn Kenny Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 8:30 PM

comment #36

Marty Melville Author Profile Page says ...

"John Waters has talent...at costume design."

Horseshit. Or poodle shit... or whatever breed that doggie was.

Waters has made some extremely funny movies... not an easy thing to do. And when manacled to a studio gig, he's shown some decent journeyman chops.

Posted by Marty Melville Author Profile Page at July 29, 2009 11:20 PM

comment #37

COCO Author Profile Page says ...

Rex is good at what he knows...me thinks he
might not appreciate the ''humor'' involved or.....
maybe the generational thing has fallen in the
forest and he did hear that.....meh.....popcorn
anyone?

Posted by COCO Author Profile Page at July 30, 2009 4:36 AM

comment #38

OtownRog Author Profile Page says ...

Two extremes---Reed on the acrid side, Wells on the gag side.
Funny People doesn't warrant either end of the spectrum. Middling, indifferent, rambling, a bit unoriginal.
And if the MySpace product placement is an indicator, YESTERDAY's news. Will Twitter hurt or help it Friday night? guessing more hurt than help. I saw a sea of cellphone lights pop on at about the 100 minute mark.

Posted by OtownRog Author Profile Page at July 30, 2009 7:30 AM

comment #39

crazynine Author Profile Page says ...

Wait a second, how is this possible?

I could have sworn that Rex Reed and Jeffery Wells were the exact same person. They look alike, they write alike, and when they hate something, they hate it full bore, no nuance, no subtlety, no charity.

I've read a dozen posts by Wells-- hell, this year alone-- that were just as vitriolic as what Reed just said there. Michael Bay, Steven Spielberg, Peter Jackson and countless random Americans with different politics/fashion/appetites get precisely the same treatment here, week after week.

But yeah, that Reed sure is vile, Mr. Pot.

Posted by crazynine Author Profile Page at July 31, 2009 7:35 AM

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