comment #1

actionman says ...

you know, it is POSSIBLE that this might be some decent, brain-dead summer fun. not likely, but it is possible...

comment #2

Cde. says ...

Maybe it doesn't suck.

comment #3

George Prager says ...

Forget Joe Popcorn, this movie is for Joe Short Bus.

comment #4

Chase Kahn says ...

It has to suck. Absolutely nobody has reviewed it yet. It's winning over (in a "it's not that bad/kinda fun" way) the CHUD, IGN horror/comic-geek crowd of fervent journalists -- and only in a 3/4 kind of way.

If the scene where Dennis Quad says, "We've never faced a threat like this" -- then it sucks.

comment #5

BoshBarnetWonkyDonkey says ...

Extreme reviews are boring though. The critics think they're being oh-so-funny, like Rex Reed's pathetic Funny People pan, and it turns readers off. I'm guessing that the frankly ludicrous overreaction to Transformers 2 convinced Paramount that there's no point screening it to critics. If all you're going to get is over-the-top vitriol designed to make the critic look intelligent and raise a few chuckles in his wine-bar frequenting, scarf-wearing, Julie & Julia-loving peers, what's the point?

Critics do themselves and their profession a disservice when they embark on such moronic crusades. It just distances them further from the moviegoing public and heightens their increasing obsolence. I'm not saying that serious criticism isn't required, or that the big CGI spectaculars should be exempt from scrutiny, but I just wish that some critics would consider that there is merit to some of the CGI blockbusters, and to blindly pan everything and anything with pixels or superheroes or guns is just as blinkered as saying "all black-and-white films are shit" or "subtitles are for wankers."

One of my film professors at university was as studious and serious about cinema as any professional critic (arguably more so) and he still had the self-awareness to not be ashamed to admit his love of Armageddon or Bad Boys 2.

There's room in this world for caviar AND burgers.

comment #6

actionman says ...

I'm a big fan of Bosh. A big, big fan.

comment #7

Alan Cerny says ...

The above should be bronzed. I completely agree. I enjoy a good rip as much as the next person, but there's really no point in putting all that vitriol into a studio film that's going to roll over you regardless of your acidic wit. It just accentuates the irrelevance of the film reviewer even more. I'd much rather have reviewers passionately advocate for lesser known films with the same intensity than reading them rip over films that I probably weren't going to catch anyway.

comment #8

Rich S. says ...

"Let me explain something. People like myself want to see tough critics ripping Sommers' lungs out here. We want razor-tipped savagery. We want intestines and other internal organs splattered all over on the floor."

And that, in a nutshell, is why Paramount is not screening it.

comment #9

BoshBarnetWonkyDonkey says ...

actionman: I rate you highly too. xoxo

comment #10

DavidF says ...

Which has more validity? A review of an ET Trailer for a trailer or a review of another critic's review?

I mean, if you've SEEN the movie and think he's being soft on it, that's one thing. It kind of negates the purpose of having multiple critics out there, but ok.

But to criticize him for being soft when you haven't seen it but EXPECT it to be something everyone should hate...well, what's that adding to the discussion?

I expect it to suck. If it doesn't suck as bad as I expect it to, well that's great. But I don't see what's gained but me criticizing this Aussie for saying it's not as bad as I expect it will be...

Really, this is lowest-denominator shit. Someone in the Lovely Bones thread actually complained Jackson should learn to use a tripod since the shots are all moving. Has he never seen a trailer before? As I wrote there, should we also assume Lovely Bones was edited by Michael Bay's team based on the trailer?

Maybe we should have seen some minimal percentage of these things before drawing any conclusions?
Or am I missing something?

comment #11

Joe M. says ...

All during "Van Helsing" I said to myself, "slooow down, slooow down... you have some great effects and action here, but it's too non-stop!" You need some quiet scenes for the big stuff to stand out. Heck, even a single gunshot will seem extremely dramatic in a movie that otherwise shows nothing but a dinner conversation. Sommers doesn't understand that basic tenet of film: context is all. I'm just a dope posting on a blog, and even I know that you need mundane scenes of Han Solo griping while fixing his spaceship's engine in order for the chase in the asteroid field to be exciting. Anyway, I'm afraid "G.I. Joe" will be more of the same big-action foodfight we get from Sommers now.

comment #12

crazynine says ...

"Let me explain something. People like myself want to see tough critics ripping Sommers' lungs out here. We want razor-tipped savagery. We want intestines and other internal organs splattered all over on the floor."

Let me explain something: why doesn't Wells wait until the movie opens and writes his own damn review rather than bitch about his perceived failings of those written by others?

People enjoy reviews of movies written by good writers. People don't enjoy reviews of reviews of movies written by *any* writer.

comment #13

CitizenKanedforChewingGum says ...

"It has to suck. Absolutely nobody has reviewed it yet."

Mmmm, not exactly factually accurate. It's got 16 hits over at RT, and 12 of them are actually positive. Granted, there aren't too many big-name critics yet, so the ol' Tomatometer is likely to sink come Friday.

Don't get me wrong -- I'm not saying it's not going to suck, I'm just saying absolutely somebodies have already reviewed it (and quite a few dug it).

comment #14

CitizenKanedforChewingGum says ...

And yeah, Jeff...it would really be nice if you could get back into the habit of writing a little something (anything!) about most of the movies you see.

How many actual "reviews" have you written so far this year? No offense, but it doesn't seem like many (35-40% of the total films you've seen? Less?), and that number somehow seems to dwindle slightly with every passing year.

Maybe a few more in-depth reviews of movies you feel are worthy of the attention (maybe that's the problem right there, not enough of those!), and a few less rambling posts about how people that are one narrow sliver further right of you on the political spectrum are evil?

Anyway, just some feedback. First read your stuff in EW, and loved ya ever since the Reel.com days (R.I.P.).

comment #15

Joe M. says ...

I'm actually hoping it'll be at least okay, and a step back in the right direction for Sommers. Heck, I was happy to read about the flashbacks that frequently interrupt the main action in "G.I. Joe". Now, if only those flashbacks don't contain even more non-stop action.

comment #16

Bilge says ...

Sigh. It frustrates me to no end that people keep assuming that a critic who dislikes TRANSFORMERS 2 just doesn't appreciate dumb summer fun flicks. Dude, plenty of critics liked the first TRANSFORMERS. A couple of them even top tenned it.

Hell, I was actually looking forward to TF2. I was ready to root for Team Bay when that dolt McG tried to challenge him. And the crushing disappointment of TF2 still rings.

comment #17

Chase Kahn says ...

"aren't too many big-name critics"

Yeah...hence: "nobody has reviewed it yet".

comment #18

buster keaton says ...

Harry Knowles and his crew loved it...so it must be good! (Um, Paramount, please forward my payment to account number 999666343 at Bank of America, Austin branch, routing number 75466. Thank you!)

comment #19

lonniechung says ...

GI Joe fell right into my wheelhouse when I was 10 or so and the original comic books/action figures came out. I'll admit that I was a little (quietly in shame) excited when I first heard about this. I don't really like action movies these days, and this movie sums up why. I remember the original GI Joe as being colorful - literally, each character was defined by a vaguely Village People-esque costume/uniform - not monochrome or overly fancy. There was something quaint and silly about the whole thing. This looks very standard and boring. I mean, more slo-mo explosions? As odd as it sounds, this could have been a somewhat offbeat maybe even interesting movie. Instead it just looks like everything else that I don't want to see. And the reviews are irrelevant to me - I don't need to see the internal organs to know how by-the-numbers this is. I don't see why a movie so uninspired should create a review that's anything but.

comment #20

CitizenKanedforChewingGum says ...

"Yeah...hence: 'nobody has reviewed it yet.' "

Since when does Variety = nobody?

I take it you're waiting for Michael Medved and Pete Hammond to chime in?

comment #21

DavidF says ...

I'm almost 100% with Lonnie.
It looks all boilerplate, totally negating what made the 80s-era stuff fun and unique.
They've been keeping Cobra Commander largely under wraps so maybe they do have a trick or two up their sleeves?

From the moment I saw the first trailer I went from cautiously optimistic to abject disinterest. People can diss the fanboys all they want but the fact that the AICN crowd - who actually know what GI Joe is - aren't slamming it has given me a teeny sliver of hope it won't be as horrible as I imagine.

comment #22

Terry McCarty says ...

Joe M. wrote:
Anyway, I'm afraid "G.I. Joe" will be more of the same big-action foodfight we get from Sommers now.

Paramount may wamt to use "Big-Action Foodfight!" as a pullquote.

comment #23

Joe Popcorn says ...

"Easy-lay standards". my ass! I didn't like G.I. Jane. Why the hell would I want to go see the sequel?

comment #24

DeeZee says ...

I've seen some of the clips on TheMovieBox. The acting's worse than in WMAC Masters. I'm just surprised no one's commented on Levitt yet.

comment #25

mpneeb says ...

Having seen it yesterday, with Stephen Sommers in attendance, I know why the Internet "critics" love it- it's designed to be a "ride." It's a visceral thing with little in the way of developed characters or plot or convincing motivation, but it looks and sounds pretty good. I suppose it's also benefiting from not being as bad and OFFENSIVE as Transformers, which might account for people not hating it as much (it's kind of hard to Hate). I recommend it as a hangover movie or something to watch while slightly inebriated. It would have been greatly improved with the presence of Jason Statham, however.

comment #26

HarryMoseby says ...

It may be that after Trans 2, any action film with two or three shots that follow in a coherent pattern suggests a model of structural wizardry, and those who view GI Joe are simply enjoy rudimentary linearity and a modicum of cohesiveness. Don't underestimate the lingering effects of Transformers 2; the dizzying flashbacks may afflict viewers for years.

comment #27

CitizenKanedforChewingGum says ...

Interesting take there, Harry.

comment #28

free games says ...

This movie is for Joe Short Bus.

comment #29

wenwen says ...

ed hardyed hardy

Gucci HandbagsGucci Handbags

Louis VuittonLouis Vuitton

Columbia SportswearColumbia Sportswear

Links Of LondonLinks Of London

comment #30

getsixpackabs says ...

$175 million is still a lot of bread for a movie.

learn how to get perfect abs fast.

comment #31

Valentinus says ...

online drugstore order Levitra low prices
no prescription buy levitra online now

comment #32

regalo.myopenid.com says ...

Never think like harry. I think it is a bit far. entradas teatro

comment #33

free online games says ...

I picked up your web site from facebook and it truly is high quality. Thankx for providing this kind of an amazing blog post..

comment #34

wedding says ...

supply in stock and custom lace front wigs, full lace wigs, lace wigs, human hair wigs, remy lace front wigs, cheap wigs, cheap, buy, celebrity
full lace wigs
lace wigs
lace wigs sale
lace front wigs
synthetic front lace wigs
Full Lace Front Wig, Long & Short Hair Wigs: 80% OFF at Celebrity Wigs. We ensure 100% customer satisfaction with our Long & Short Indian Remy Hair Wigs.
wedding dresses
evening dresses
prom dresses

comment #35

joobc says ...

I really don't care much for the critics. Sometimes they screw up their reviews big time.

comment #36

ShriyaKaif says ...

I must admit the fact that i genuinely admire the way your publish articles. The points were produced to the point and genuinely does a pleasure to read. Hope all bloggers and publishers can publish article as you. Continue the good work.

Short Love Quotes and Funny Love Quotes

comment #37

oyun says ...

Anyway, I'm afraid "G.I. Joe" will be more of the same big-action foodfight we get from Sommers now.
ben 10 oyunlarıkral oyun