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I need to ask a rhetorical question. If you had a fairly tall and strapping lead actor in your film like Leonardo DiCaprio, would you have any concerns about casting the winky-dinky-sized Ellen Page in a costarring role? I'm just struck every time I see her in a movie still alongside this or that actor how she looks like she's maybe 9 or 10 years old, if that.

Ellen Page (l.) and Leonardo DiCaprio (r.) in a still from Chris Nolan's Inception.

Just look at the above shot of her walking in front of DiCaprio. I'm sorry to sound like a size-ist asshole but are you going to tell me the discrepancy isn't striking? His head is at least 50% larger than hers. Look at them! He could pick her up and carry her under his arm like one of those stuffed Jack Skellington dolls. Page is a very fine actress -- nobody's talking about her emoting here -- but she's obviously in the same size realm as the superb Peter Dinklage (who easily gave the best performance in Sidney Lumet's Find Me Guilty), Billy Barty, Mickey Rooney and Danny DeVito.

Now that I think of it Page isn't really analagous to Dinklage. I think of Dinklage as an adult actor of impressive range who happens to be of a very short stature. In the same sense Page, as sharp and powerful as her performances tend to be, doesn't seem to exude any kind of natural adultness or been-around-the-block femininity. She looks to me like someone's growth-stunted kid. Like I said in an '07 riff about Juno , the idea of Page having had sex with some guy like Michael Cera (who's fairly tall and lanky) and then gotten pregnant seems perverse. She's too little for that.

Yes, she was great nonetheless in Juno. And I'll buy her as a spunky roller derby player in Whip It and probably in anything else. She's really got it within. I guess all I'm really saying is that she looks odd standing next to tall guys. Veronica Lake had the same problem opposite Joel McCrea in Sullivan's Travels. I guess because it's a little unusual in real life to see basketball players going out with pixie-sized women. I know it happens from time to time, but it looks really odd when it does.

Joel McCrea, Veronica Lake in Sullivan's Travels

I'm basically saying Page would be ideally cast opposite Al Pacino or Michael J. Fox or DeVito or anyone in that realm, but not opposite Ryan Reynolds or Jeff Goldblum or Richard Kiel or anyone extra-tall. Well, you could cast her opposite Reynolds but guys like me would say stuff if you did. She would have been perfect alongside Alan Ladd in This Gun for Hire or opposite Humphrey Bogart in anything.

I realize that saying anything about a person's size is seen in p.c. circles as almost the same thing as remarking about their skin color or ethnic heritage or whatever, but disproportionate sizes in actors in the same scene have a way of standing out in an odd sort of way, and I don't think I'm being a jerk for pointing this out.

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on August 23, 2009 at 10:21 AM

comment #1

Wrecktem says ...

I would pay to see a romantic movie starring Ellen Page and Richard Kiel.

Your general point is correct, though. Size differences like these are tough to film around. At least Sturgess had the wherewithal to cleverly dress Veronica Lake as a boy during most of Sullivan's Travels.

Note that Lake's most successful partnerships on screen were with the equally diminutive Alan Ladd. Page needs to find her Ladd and stick to him like glue.

Posted by Wrecktem at August 23, 2009 12:31 PM

comment #2

Ulysses says ...

She is pretty tiny, isn't she ? Personally, I find the idea of anyone having sex with Michael Cera perverse.

Posted by Ulysses at August 23, 2009 12:40 PM

comment #3

Steven Kar says ...

I agree. And there's nothing un-PC about the point made in this post.

Posted by Steven Kar at August 23, 2009 1:05 PM

comment #4

Mr. F. says ...

Wells, you've obviously never interviewed Leo or seen him in person. Among Hollywood casting directors, he's known as the Wilt Chamberlain of the acting world (and not just because he's also on course to sleeping with 10,000 women!). Leo was well on his way to a career in professional basketball, but gave it up when his love of drama won out.

Nolan is a technical maestro, but yes: the shot you refer to is a rare slip up from him. Compare it to what Jim Cameron did in TITANIC -- perhaps his most impressive feat was hiding the nearly two-foot discrepancy between Leo and Kate Winslet. (It's why members of the technical branches gave him their Oscar votes.) But he totally deserved it -- you NEVER believe that Leo is anything more than average height.

Jesus, Wells... I thought this was common knowledge. Between this and you not knowing the term for "Jewish pancake," I've lost a lot of faith in you.

Posted by Mr. F. at August 23, 2009 1:16 PM

comment #5

btwnproductions says ...

Everything I've looked up says DiCaprio is 5'11", maybe 6'. He's no Vince Vaughn (6'5"). Basketball career? Only if he wanted to feel like Ellen Page out there on the court.

Posted by btwnproductions at August 23, 2009 1:30 PM

comment #6

Ulysses says ...

Is a "Jewish pancake" called a latke ?

Posted by Ulysses at August 23, 2009 1:30 PM

comment #7

Gnome de Guerre says ...

But Mr. F, can a pancake really be Jewish? I mean, I know some rabbis will convert anyone, but a pancake? Show me!

Oh, I see... you mean, "Jewish" potato pancake as in latke. Ah yes. In addition to not knowing what a dreidel is, this is a grave offen-- wait, whaaat?!

Posted by Gnome de Guerre at August 23, 2009 1:30 PM

comment #8

televisiontears says ...

"Nolan is a technical maestro, but yes: the shot you refer to is a rare slip up from him."

That's a production still. Not a screen grab. It's not how the shot will look.

Also, IMDB says Leo's only six feet. If that's true, that's really not that tall, and extremely easy to work around on set. It's not like Tom Cruise levels of adjustment here.

Posted by televisiontears at August 23, 2009 1:41 PM

comment #9

televisiontears says ...

Which according to Mr. F, would put Winslet at around 4'2". Sexiest midget I've ever seen.

Posted by televisiontears at August 23, 2009 1:47 PM

comment #10

Jeffrey Wells says ...

Wells to Mr. F.: So Leonardo DiCaprio is Wilt Chamberlain-sized, eh? You're brilliant. You're a really brilliant simpleton. I had lunch with Leo back in '95 or thereabouts (when he'd just made Gilbert Grape and was about to jump into Romeo and Juliet) and stood right next to him at a Revolutionary Road party last December, and I know precisely how tall he is. He's either exactly my height (6' 1/2") or maybe a half-inch taller (6' 1"). I find it personally embarassing that guys of your calibre are posting on this site. Embarassing and depressing, actually.

Posted by Jeffrey Wells at August 23, 2009 2:02 PM

comment #11

Phatang! says ...

I LOVE Veronica Lake in "Sullivan's Travels"!

Posted by Phatang! at August 23, 2009 2:04 PM

comment #12

Arran says ...

According to celebheights.com - for all your celebrity height-related needs - DiCaprio is 5'11.5" and Page is 5'1.5".

Posted by Arran at August 23, 2009 2:07 PM

comment #13

Sabina E says ...

It's not a big deal, Wells. You're making a mountain out of a molehill. I am 5'2, but I can be 5'4 or 5'5 when I wear my combat boots.

My boyfriend is 6'6, by the way.

I know a few females who think Michael Cera is cute, but I myself don't find him attractive. Anyway, I find nothing perverse about Juno having sex with him and then getting pregnant. You were NEVER a teenaged girl, Wells.

Posted by Sabina E at August 23, 2009 2:09 PM

comment #14

Sabina E says ...

by the way, Leo looks really good in that photo.

Posted by Sabina E at August 23, 2009 2:10 PM

comment #15

Mr. F. says ...

Damn it... you try to inject a little levity around here -- replying to a post about how Ellen Page is a *shrimp* -- and everyone misses it by a mile.

But the tongue-lashing from you, Wells, hurts!

I figured there were enough obvious points in there that would make readers go "This guy's talking out of his ass... oh, he doesn't really mean it!" For example:
1. "Leo was well on his way to a career in professional basketball," Uh... I didn't think anyone would believe he was originally on track to play in the NBA. But I guess it could be plausible.
2. the idea that Cameron won the Oscar for TITANIC because of his ability to make Leo look 6' tall -- I didn't think ANYONE was going to take that seriously.
3. and what I thought was the clincher: "not knowing the term for Jewish pancake." Most people know that's a LATKE... not a dreidel, as your other INCEPTION post was about.

For the record, Leo is 5'11" if you believe the Internets.

So, I apologize... the post wasn't supposed to be taken seriously in any way, as I thought it was apparent there was absolutely zero truth in anything I had to say. (In my defense, I just got done reading John Hodgman's excellent second book... but given the reaction here, I can't say I'd recommend it)

Posted by Mr. F. at August 23, 2009 2:25 PM

comment #16

erniesouchak says ...

It's not so much her height as her apparent youth. Back in the day, Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny looked great together, and he's about 1 foot taller.

Posted by erniesouchak at August 23, 2009 2:26 PM

comment #17

Felonious Monk says ...

[R.I.P., Felonious Monk -- banned for life.]

Posted by Felonious Monk at August 23, 2009 2:29 PM

comment #18

televisiontears says ...

Wow, Wells. That's really harsh. I think Mr. F was joking about the latke thing, but still. You call someone an embarrassing simpleton over an argument about someone's height? Good job! You must be awesome at parties!

I cannot think of anyone else with such a deep, open hatred for their own readers than you. You know, your readers? The ones who put bread on your table. You should be grateful that Mr. F took the time to read and respond to your little article about how Ellen Page is short (fascinating). Instead, you called him an idiot, and in so many words, told him to fuck off. Not only is that utterly disrespectful, but it's an awful business strategy.

If you owned a record shop and you called every customer who was wrong about some pointless trivia an idiot and told them to get out of your store, you wouldn't have much a business.

I enjoy reading your stuff and talking in the forums, but I don't really want to support this kind of attitude towards the people who help you make a living.

Posted by televisiontears at August 23, 2009 2:29 PM

comment #19

Felonious Monk says ...

[R.I.P., Felonious Monk -- banned for life.]

Posted by Felonious Monk at August 23, 2009 2:34 PM

comment #20

televisiontears says ...

You shouldn't apologize, F. Wells is acting like an ass. He should apologize to you.

Posted by televisiontears at August 23, 2009 2:34 PM

comment #21

Mr. F. says ...

Nah, it's OK, tvtears -- I can throw it back at Wells when I want to. I'm a published author -- in addition to HE, I've also posted comments at David Poland's Hot Blog.

(note to Wells: the previous sentence was a joke)

I usually post serious comments, where I'm not (intentionally) trying to come off as a buffoon... a style of humor I find particularly amusing (see Colbert and Hodgman). So I could see why Wells might react the way he did... though in a post about Ellen Page titled "Shrimp", I wasn't expecting it to be 100% from his heart.

The old maxim proves true again: if you have to explain a joke, it just wasn't funny.

Posted by Mr. F. at August 23, 2009 2:39 PM

comment #22

Gnome de Guerre says ...

Mr. F, I for one renounce my previous post about your previous post. In light of recent discoveries, that was pretty fuckin funny.

Posted by Gnome de Guerre at August 23, 2009 2:45 PM

comment #23

Jeffrey Wells says ...

Oh. I see. Well, I'm reading too fast and writing too fast, I guess. Apologies to Mr. F. But Felonious Monk is a dead man. Like all HE posters who decide to go blunt and ugly. I'll get around to zotzing him later this evening.

Posted by Jeffrey Wells at August 23, 2009 2:57 PM

comment #24

Felonious Monk says ...

[R.I.P., Felonious Monk -- banned for life.]

Posted by Felonious Monk at August 23, 2009 2:57 PM

comment #25

Sabina E says ...

Well, sometimes it's hard to tell over the Internet if someone's joking or being sarcastic.

Posted by Sabina E at August 23, 2009 3:09 PM

comment #26

dangovich says ...

In that picture, Ellen Page looks like an adult who's been digitally miniaturized to be an elf in a Christmas movie.

Posted by dangovich at August 23, 2009 3:24 PM

comment #27

Mr. F. says ...

See, Wells, that's why we keep coming back to HE... the make-up sex is soooooo good.

Gnome: if you like that, you might like the Hodgman... give these a try:
http://www.amazon.com/Areas-My-Expertise-John-Hodgman/dp/B000O17CZ6/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251067641&sr=8-2
and
http://www.amazon.com/More-Information-Than-You-Require/dp/1594483647/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251067696&sr=8-1

DBTP: speaking of sarcasm and recognizing it, someone just wrote about an interesting study about that very subject:
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/08/18/would-you-even-recognize-sarcasm/

(Jesus... I feel like DeeZee now)

Posted by Mr. F. at August 23, 2009 3:29 PM

comment #28

sumo-pop says ...

I'm betting in ten years she gets diagnosed with Ralph Macchio disease. Look out Ellen, it got Winona Ryder too!

Posted by sumo-pop at August 23, 2009 3:49 PM

comment #29

p.Vice says ...

I, for one, think an Ellen Page-Richard Kiel romantic comedy would be worth watching.

Certainly more than another Nolan suckfest, anyway.

Posted by p.Vice at August 23, 2009 3:52 PM

comment #30

televisiontears says ...

Uh-oh, everyone. p. Vice said "Nolan suckfest". That's very controversial. Let's all turn our attention his way.

Oh p. Vice, you just always speak the truth. I'm constantly enthralled by your thoughtful, eloquent comments. You're much better than some people here who just say the most abrasive, insulting and contrarian thing they can in a pathetic attempt to garner attention and thus feel validated in at least one aspect of their likely empty existence.

You're much better than those people.

Posted by televisiontears at August 23, 2009 5:58 PM

comment #31

Gnome de Guerre says ...

Ah Mr. F, droll. Tres droll.

I had no idea Hodgman was this interesting a fellow: http://tinyurl.com/l4vw4n

Posted by Gnome de Guerre at August 23, 2009 6:56 PM

comment #32

Nate West says ...

To Serve Man, co-starring Ellen Page.

I can see that.

Posted by Nate West at August 23, 2009 9:15 PM

comment #33

DeeZee says ...

"but she's obviously in the same size realm as the superb Peter Dinklage (who easily gave the best performance in Sidney Lumet's Find Me Guilty), Billy Barty, Mickey Rooney and Danny DeVito."

What? No obvious mention of Shirley Temple?

"Well, you could cast her opposite Reynolds but guys like me would say stuff if you did."

I said stuff about Bruce Willis following Haley Joel Osment around in Sixth Sense. That was creepier than the actual ending.

F: "Leo was well on his way to a career in professional basketball,"

Bullshit. The guy had awful grades, and acting was his only choice. Plus they probably used doubles for the actual games in 'Diaries.

Arran: Christ, she looks shorter than that dude playing Harry Potter.

Deaf: "You were NEVER a [stupid] teenaged girl, Wells."

Posted by DeeZee at August 23, 2009 9:16 PM

comment #34

Mr. F. says ...

DeeZee: you always claim to know what you're talking about, but you have no idea.

Leo was absolutely into basketball, and it was on the set of "Growing Pains" that Alan Thicke tried to convince the young Leo to one day sign with his hometown Toronto Raptors. It never happened, and the rest, as they say, is history. (You don't think professional athletes have to have good grades, do you? Really?)

Next time do a Google search before you embarrass yourself.

Posted by Mr. F. at August 23, 2009 9:43 PM

comment #35

Mr. F. says ...

Yes, Gnome: Hodgman's best known as the PC in the "I'm a Mac" ads for Apple.

His second book has a "Page a Day" calendar feature. Since a number of the entries have to do with movies and TV, here are a choice few:
- DECEMBER 19, 1988, NEW YORK CITY: Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan film the famous "fake orgasm" scene at Katz's Deli. According to Hollywood Legend, Crystal himself suggested the scene, having grown up listening to stories about the deli and all the orgasms his mother used to have there.
- APRIL 7, 1964, ON THE NEWSSTANDS: Peter Sellers is the first man to be featured on the cover of Playboy magazine, and thus America first sees a male nipple ring.
(and perhaps my favorite of all...)
- SEPTEMBER 14, 1968: In a desperate attempt to appear "with it," Richard Nixon appears on the comedy variety program Laugh-in and delivers the show's trademark line, "Sock it to me, you fucking cocksucker."

The books are more of the same, and very much like the link you posted... almanacs of bizarre and often hilarious fake "facts." Go out and pick them up... you won't be disappointed! (Unless you don't have an offbeat and quirky sense of humor. Like my wife, who is not a fan at all)

Signed, Mr. F
John Hodgman's Literary Agent

P.S. DeeZee: the above calendar entries are jokes from the book "More Information Than You Require," and aren't supposed to be taken seriously...

...OR ARE THEY?

P.P.S. To steer this back to the topic at hand: yes, Ellen Page would be the ideal choice to take the Linda Hunt role in the eventual remake of YEAR OF LIVING DANGEROUSLY.

Posted by Mr. F. at August 23, 2009 9:49 PM

comment #36

DeeZee says ...

F: You mean like this? http://www.accesshollywood.com/lawsuit-over-dicaprio-basketball-court-ends_article_20681
Fine, I'll buy that he's into the sport, but I won't buy that he was pro-material. The guy doesn't have the stamina or the build for it.

Posted by DeeZee at August 23, 2009 9:58 PM

comment #37

thatmovieguy says ...

Jeff: Just FYI -- Page is not playing a hockey player in "Whip It." She's a roller derby star.

Posted by thatmovieguy at August 23, 2009 10:27 PM

comment #38

Arran says ...

I'm not sure if Mr F was being droll again, but I'd just point out that Growing Pains ended in 1992 and the Toronto Raptors franchise didn't exist until 1995.

I take anything involving Alan Thicke very seriously.

Posted by Arran at August 24, 2009 2:15 AM

comment #39

Michael says ...

I'm basically saying Page would be ideally cast opposite Al Pacino or Michael J. Fox or DeVito or anyone in that realm

If by 'anyone in that realm', you mean 95% of Hollywood actors, I'm in total agreement.

Posted by Michael at August 24, 2009 5:56 AM

comment #40

Mr. F. says ...

Arran: how dare you back up your posts with actual TRUTH! That is not the DeeZee way. You need to NOT read any previous comments in the thread, in which points are made, things are clarified, and so on. Remember: ignorance is bliss! (And so are false facts.)

DeeZee: please ignore Arran. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Leo is over 7' tall (if you don't believe it, look at the photo at the top of the page where he towers over Ellen -- also see comment #4, but definitely ignore comment #15) and was going to play Center in the NBA. Alan Thicke is a HUGE Raptors fan, and acts as a shadow G.M. for the team -- you can thank (er, blame) him for pushing for Vince Carter -- and it was Thicke who asked Leo to sign with Toronto.

Posted by Mr. F. at August 24, 2009 9:25 AM

comment #41