"Dumb As A Rock"

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"Ms. Sourpants...a cringe-able actress...dumb as a rock...a classless, graceless, ungracious bitch." This is what three guys claiming to be part of the "loyal Transformers crew" have written about Megan Fox on Michael Bay's website, obviously with Bay's okay. It comes in response to Fox having complained about working for Bay on both Transformers films and comparing him to Hitler, etc.

Jennifer 's Body star Megan Fox on front page of today's (Saturday, 9.12) Globe and Mail.

"We've had the tedious experience of working with the dumb-as-a-rock Megan Fox on both Transformers movies," the letter says early on. [Note: the grammar ansd phraseology are weak so I've cleaned up certain portions.] "We [work] in different departments, and can't give our names because sadly doing so in Hollywood could lead to being banished from future Paramount work. One of us touches Megan's panties, another has the often shitty job of pulling Ms. Sourpants out of her trailer, and the last of us is near the Panaflex camera that helps to memorialize the valley girl on film

"Megan has the press fooled. When we read those magazines we wish we worked with that woman. Megan knows how to work her smile for the press. Those writers should try being on set for two movies [because] sadly, she never smiles. The cast, crew and director make Transformers a really fun and energetic set. We've traveled around the world together, so we have never understood why Megan was always so much the grump of the set.

"When facing the press, Megan is the queen of talking trailer trash and posing like a porn star. And yes we've had the unbearable time of watching her try to act on set, and yes, it's very cringe-able. So maybe, being a porn star in the future might be a good career option. But make-up beware, she has a paragraph tattooed to her backside (probably due to her rotten childhood) which means easily another 45 minutes in the chair!

"So when the three of us read Ms Fox...blabbing her trash mouth about a director whom we three have grown to really like. She compared working with Michael to "working with Hitler." We actually don't think she knows who Hitler is by the way. But we wondered how she doesn't realize what a disgusting, fully uneducated comment this was? Well, let's get some facts straight.

"Say what you want about Michael. Yes, at times he can be hard, but he's also fun, and he challenges everyone for a reason - he simply wants people to bring their 'A' game. He comes very prepared, knows exactly what he wants, involves the crew and expects everyone to follow through with his or her best, and that includes the actors. He's one of the hardest working directors out there. He gets the best from his crews, many of whom have worked with him for 15 years. And yes, he's loyal, one of the few directors we've encountered who lowered his fee by millions to keep Transformers in the United States and California, so he could work with his own crew.

"Megan says that Transformers was an unsafe set? Come on Megan, we know it is a bit more strenuous then the playground at the trailer park, but you don't insult one of the very best stunt and physical effects teams in the business! Not one person got hurt!

"And who is the real Megan Fox? About as ungracious a person as you can ever fathom. She shows little interest in the crew members around her. We work to make her look good in every way, but she's absolutely never appreciative of anyone's hard work. Never a thank you. All the crew members have stopped saying hi to Ms. Princess because she never says hello back. It gets tiring. Many think she just really hates the process of being an actress.

"Megan has been late to the set many times. She goes through the motions that make her exude this sense of misery. We've heard the A.D's piped over the radio that Megan won't walk from her trailer until John Turturro walks on set first! John's done seventy-five movies and she's made two!

"Never expect Megan to attend any of the 15 or so crew parties like all the other actors have. And then there's the classless night she blew off the Royal Prince of Jordan, who prepared a special dinner for all the actors. She doesn't know that the grip's [two] daughters wanted to visit her daddy during work in order to meet Megan, but that he wouldn't let them come because he told them 'she's not nice.'

"The press certainly doesn't know her most famous line. On our first day in Egypt, the Egyptian government wouldn't let us shoot because of a permit problem as the actors got ready in make up at the Four Seasons Hotel. Michael tried to make the best of it, and so decided to take the cast and crew on a private tour of the famous Giza pyramids. God hold us witness when we say that Megan's response was, "I can't believe Michael is fucking forcing us to go to the fucking pyramids!" (I guess this is the 'Hitler guy' she's referring to.)

"So this is the Megan Fox you don't get to see. Maybe she will learn, but we figure if she can sling insults then she can take them too. Megan really is a thankless, classless, graceless, and shall we say unfriendly bitch. It's sad how fame can twist people, and even sadder that young girls look up to her. If only they knew who they're really looking up to.

"But fame is fleeting. We behind-the-scenes guys have seen em' come and go. Hopefully Michael will have Megatron squish Megan's character in the first ten minutes of Transformers 3."

Sumptuous Devastation<< previous | next >>Air Guys

Posted by Jeffrey Wells on September 12, 2009 at 10:55 AM

comment #1

TulseLuper says ...

Not that I have any interest in defending Megan Fox whatsoever but I've heard some pretty terrible things about Michael Bay on-set as well. Like how he sets up a shot, disappears for an hour, comes back with his nose as red as Rudolph's, and flips out because the light has changed. In the end, all we know is what's on-screen, and what is on-screen is the work of the most venal and crass filmmaker alive featuring the most venal and crass starlet of our time, and that's going by public appearances alone. Watching this falling-out unravel in the public sphere simply fills me with joy.

Posted by TulseLuper at September 12, 2009 11:37 AM

comment #2

Mr. F. says ...

I don't understand what all the fuss is about.

Megan Fox is famous for one thing, and one thing only. Hint: it's not her acting ability, it's not her charm, it's not her intelligence.

Like all the other flavors of the month, when she no longer has her looks, she'll fade back into obscurity... and we'll move on to the next hot young starlet who can't act but looks amazing in a dress.

Enjoy the ride.

Posted by Mr. F. at September 12, 2009 11:44 AM

comment #3

Jonah says ...

It seems everybody had as horrible a time making the film as I had watching it.

Somehow that makes me feel a little better about the two 1/2 hours I wasted on the piece of garbage.

Posted by Jonah at September 12, 2009 11:44 AM

comment #4

warmsounds says ...

none of this surprises me. when they were about to film transformers 2, at the mtv movie awards last year picking up a prize for transformers, she essentially got up and said "it's going to be fucking better than the first!". something along those lines. certainly not a red flag, but she came across as classless and a moron. and those tattoo's. please. call it a personal preference, but i think a girl with that much ink on her body looks like a whore i see in porno's. no matter how pretty her face may be.

the only part of this letter that i don't believe is the big about actors attending crew parties. this really varies with each film. it's really not uncommon for the leads of films to never attend one crew party unless the director himself/herself is throwing it. the leads are quite busy as it is, and usually they will refrain from any parties unless it's a end of shoot wrap party. and even then it's not a given.

aside from that bit, i totally believe everything this letter said. honestly, i think "jennifer's body" is going to flop, and megan's career will cool down quite a bit post transformers.

Posted by warmsounds at September 12, 2009 11:45 AM

comment #5

poseidon72 says ...

She better hope Jennifers Body dosen't flop. My gut feeling is that it will have a good opening weekend.

Posted by poseidon72 at September 12, 2009 11:50 AM

comment #6

KC says ...

I can EASILY believe that Megan Fox is a moron, a horror to work with, etc., but the ugly tone, sexist language, and fratboy psychoanalysis of this letter have spoiled what I would have otherwise considered a new high point in the heretofore pretty entertaining Fox-Bay feud.

It reads like a catcall that turns into "bitch, you ain't all that anyway" when the girl rolls her eyes and it speaks poorly of you if you're completely nodding your head along with the sentiments expressed, no matter how bleak a soul-read you got on this girl, no matter how awful she may actually be in real life. 'slike if you posted a similar expose of on-set bad behavior with an unmistakable undercurrent of creepy racism as part of your War on Kal Penn or something

Posted by KC at September 12, 2009 11:50 AM

comment #7

the sordid sentinel says ...

I'm no fan of Ms. Fox and suspect this is all true, but these guys need to man up. Don't slap someone and run for cover (anonymity) like a little bitch.

Posted by the sordid sentinel at September 12, 2009 11:54 AM

comment #8

Flash Gordon says ...

Michael Bay vs. Megan Fox is like Fredyy vs. Jason. No one to root for. And why do I suspect this thing may have actually been written by Bay himself? Who would go out of their way to defend this douche?

Posted by Flash Gordon at September 12, 2009 11:56 AM

comment #9

George Prager says ...

Just do your job and shut the fuck up, you fuckin' yentas.

Posted by George Prager at September 12, 2009 11:58 AM

comment #10

MovieBob says ...

I love this. It's like those later Godzilla movies where the "defense strategy" has degraded to "look, just get everyone the FUCK out of Tokyo and let's just let the two giant monsters beat EACHOTHER to death."

Posted by MovieBob at September 12, 2009 11:58 AM

comment #11

natsyelzom says ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WURlRLN7co

"Transformers is a movies for geniuses." 100% fact!

Posted by natsyelzom at September 12, 2009 12:06 PM

comment #12

DeeZee says ...

"Ms. Sourpants...a cringe-able actress...dumb as a rock...a classless, graceless, ungracious bitch."

These comments about Fox sound more applicable to Bay.

poseidon: Even if it makes money, that Hartnett movie will probably do her career in.

Posted by DeeZee at September 12, 2009 12:14 PM

comment #13

Rothchild says ...

natsyelzom:

I know you're really excited to jump in and say horrible things about a really hot girl to make up for all the times you've been rejected, but she's being a smartass in that clip. I can't believe a guy took the time to edit that clip, add part of TF2, and upload it on to youtube without realizing that. It's like her looks make you unable to read sarcasm or deadpan humor.

I'm not saying she's a genius, but I am saying you're an idiot.

Posted by Rothchild at September 12, 2009 12:17 PM

comment #14

Travis Crabtree says ...

She knows who Hitler is. "He's that bad guy from back in history times."

I worked on a commercial with Bay. He is a cock.

Sorry, but I have no sympathy for anyone who talks about what an awful experience they had watching "Transformers 2". You paid money to see it.
It's like being mad at dog shit for tasting so bad.

Posted by Travis Crabtree at September 12, 2009 12:30 PM

comment #15

cinefan says ...

Some of their comments about Fox may be true but these Bay toadies lose credibility with ridiculous statements like this: "Yes, at times he can be hard, but he's also fun, and he challenges everyone for a reason - he simply wants people to bring their 'A' game." At his best, Michael Bay brings nothing better than a 'C' game (most of the time, he's far below that as a director) and I can't think of a single performance by an actor in a Bay film that is on the 'A' game level or close to it.

Posted by cinefan at September 12, 2009 12:35 PM

comment #16

Jonah says ...

I didn't pay money to see it, TC. I made up my mind after Pearl Harbor that I'd never pay to see a movie of his again, and I haven't.

My sister in law manages a nearby theater. I see that shit for free. And I still want my money back.

Posted by Jonah at September 12, 2009 12:42 PM

comment #17

BadHatHarry says ...

Worked with both of them, several times with Michael. They deserve each other.

This diatribe was so poorly written I suspect it was actually written by Michael himself. But she is exactly as vacuous as the worst of her critics say she is. Any physical attraction you may harbor for her vanishes after a few seconds in her presence.

Posted by BadHatHarry at September 12, 2009 12:50 PM

comment #18

Travis Crabtree says ...

Anybody here ever work for Joe Pytka?

He likes everybody to bring their "A Game" too.

In case you have, you may be interested in his action figure:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBe4Ce81paM

Posted by Travis Crabtree at September 12, 2009 12:52 PM

comment #19

Flash Gordon says ...

BadHatHarry:

That sounds familiar. Go back and look at comment #8.

Posted by Flash Gordon at September 12, 2009 1:05 PM

comment #20

great scott says ...

Wait until LexG hears about this.

Posted by great scott at September 12, 2009 2:05 PM

comment #21

Deathtongue_Groupie says ...

13 freaking paragraphs of this TMZ crap?

Seriously?

In the middle of claiming you don't have enough time to write about all the haps at TIFF?

I mean, fucking seriously?

Posted by Deathtongue_Groupie at September 12, 2009 2:07 PM

comment #22

Terry McCarty says ...

Re Travis' comment about Joe Pytka:
Was an extra in one of his commercials. Wasn't subjected to any Pytka temper, but noticed that he would shoot hoops with PAs between setups.

Posted by Terry McCarty at September 12, 2009 2:10 PM

comment #23

Terry McCarty says ...

Jonah wrote:
I made up my mind after Pearl Harbor that I'd never pay to see a movie of his again, and I haven't.

Took me until THE ISLAND to learn that lesson. For what it's worth, BAD BOYS and parts of THE ROCK are probably Bay's feature-film highpoints.

Posted by Terry McCarty at September 12, 2009 2:13 PM

comment #24

QualityGibberish says ...

Right off the bat, if J Wells has to edit these freaking twits, their rant loses any legitimacy. Then again, there's the misogynist joy Wells apparently brings to the business of trashing the girl, which is not worthy of a supposedly serious journalist. And then again, it's blatantly absurd to think that ANYONE involved in the making of Transformers 2 deserves defending for it, and a perfectly sane response to being involved, it seems to me, would be to go off your head and shout those fucking lunatics down.

Posted by QualityGibberish at September 12, 2009 2:16 PM

comment #25

Travis Crabtree says ...

"noticed that he would shoot hoops with PAs between setups"

..which sounds all sweet until one of the PAs scored on him, causing Joe to slam the PA to the pavement, throw a walkie at him then pee on his motionless body.

Posted by Travis Crabtree at September 12, 2009 2:20 PM

comment #26

actionman says ...

"Who would go out of their way to defend this douche?"

Probably someone who respects him as an artist and doesn't think he's a douche. I spent two years off and on working with/for Bay and I can say that all of this "he's a psycho" bullshit is just that -- bullshit.

it's remarkable to still be reading the venomous hate on HE re: Transformers 2

Posted by actionman at September 12, 2009 2:42 PM

comment #27

mpneeb says ...

A Michael Bay-Megan Fox feud?

The very definition of 'race to the bottom.'

it's like trying to figure out who's stupider- Rush Limbaugh or Glenn Beck.

Posted by mpneeb at September 12, 2009 2:44 PM

comment #28

Jonah says ...

actionman,

Don't let it bother you. I'm sure we all have movies we love that you'd like to take a shit on.

I can't speak for Bay as a dude, never met him. But as an artist he is...

Posted by Jonah at September 12, 2009 3:00 PM

comment #29

econeywaaa says ...

I have no doubt in my mind that this was written by Bay or one of his flacks. Megan Fox may be the talentless flavor-of-the week, but I have sympathy for a girl that just can't tear herself away from Brian Austin Green.

Also, I will bet the house that Bay tried to fuck her and she told him to fuck off. That whole letter reeks of it.

Posted by econeywaaa at September 12, 2009 3:49 PM

comment #30

The Winchester says ...

Whoever wins, we lose

Posted by The Winchester at September 12, 2009 3:50 PM

comment #31

cinefan says ...

"Probably someone who respects him as an artist and doesn't think he's a douche."

Here's a novel suggestion you might want to try. instead of watching every Michael Bay film over and over again, broaden your horizons, ignore Bay for a while, and devote your time to watching films by Welles, Hitchcock, Wilder, Polanski, Ford, Hawks, Kurosawa, Fellini, et al. After doing that, you will never think about using the words artist and Michael Bay in the same sentence and Michael Bay being a douche will be an obvious and incontrovertible fact (which it truly is). I know it is hard for you, actionman, to see something non-action but I have faith that you can do it. God speed...

Posted by cinefan at September 12, 2009 4:30 PM

comment #32

CitizenKanedforChewingGum says ...

AM actually does watch films from every genre (and era). I don't like Bay, either, but I have to stand up for my (action) man here because I know he really does like all sorts of movies, across the board.

I've agreed and disagreed with him over the years, but it's all good. Everyone has slightly different tastes. The world would be a fucking fascist nightmare if this weren't the case.

Posted by CitizenKanedforChewingGum at September 12, 2009 5:01 PM

comment #33

John Galt says ...

i'm still wondering, after all of the recent complaints about snarks and negative enthusiasm manifesting on his site, is jeff continuing to post this gossip-y dribble. it's high school shit. graduate already.

Posted by John Galt at September 12, 2009 5:22 PM

comment #34

Sabina E says ...

this is Hollywood's disgusting, filthy mysogyny at its best.

Also, Michael Bay deserves to be punched in the dick. NO RESPECTABLE FILMMAKER would ever post something so hateful and un-professional like that on his website.

team Megan.

Posted by Sabina E at September 12, 2009 5:53 PM

comment #35

Jonah says ...

Deafbrown is on the loose again. Whose turn was it to watch her?

DBTP,

I'm guessing you had a problem with Megan calling Bay Hitler?

"Punk" is thinking for yourself. Not just siding with the idiotic feminists of the world. You're about as punk as April Lavig...whatshername

Posted by Jonah at September 12, 2009 6:09 PM

comment #36

econeywaaa says ...

The aforementioned diatribe has been removed....hmm...Jeff, think you had anything to do with it?

Posted by econeywaaa at September 12, 2009 6:40 PM

comment #37

HanekeFanBoyNumberOne says ...

All signs point to Bay writing this himself, but who cares.

Posted by HanekeFanBoyNumberOne at September 12, 2009 7:05 PM

comment #38

Travis Crabtree says ...

I'm trying to think of a situation or or scenario where DeafBrown would have no problem with a guy saying that a female filmmaker should be punched in the va-jay-jay.

"That Leni Riefenstahl! She deserved to be punched in the cunt!"

Cool?

Posted by Travis Crabtree at September 12, 2009 7:22 PM

comment #39

hunterd says ...

Guys...do you really not see DeafBrown's point? This letter is CLEARLY, CLEARLY sexist and misogynistic. How many gender based epithets does it take for you to notice sexism?

Posted by hunterd at September 12, 2009 9:43 PM

comment #40

Jonah says ...

Sorry you missed the point, hunterd.

Posted by Jonah at September 12, 2009 9:44 PM

comment #41

LexG says ...

Bay = Best living filmmaker. GOD.

Fox = Hottest living human. GOD.

I'd work up a typical 40-paragraph rant defending either or both, but at some point it's just like shouting into a whirring fan, and about as productive.

And while 30-odd people take the time to post their disdain for either/or, both Fox and Bay are wealthier, more famous and probably more talented than anyone here, so they're laughing all the way to the bank, and you still wish you were them, or hanging out with them.

Posted by LexG at September 12, 2009 11:06 PM

comment #42

plastiqueelephant says ...

Crabtree: It's totally cool & pretty funny for a girl to threaten to punch us in the dick while it's creep central to threaten to whack a woman in the ****. Why? Because history matters, rape is still prevalent and Bay represents a strain of masculinity which epitomizes why there are so few female directors in Hollywood. Women are allowed to be a bit sexist just like colored people are allowed to be a bit racist. As long as whitey/dude doesn't get beaten up, it probably does a decent amount of good. Even if doesn't, trust me it's a pretty good source of fun.

Posted by plastiqueelephant at September 12, 2009 11:12 PM

comment #43

Postavant says ...

A lot of blowing bullshit in that letter. Bay cut his pay to keep Transformers in America? Dude made 75 million off that movie if I remember...

Posted by Postavant at September 12, 2009 11:25 PM

comment #44

televisiontears says ...

hunterd: Really?

Asshole, cock, douchebag, dick, jagoff, jerk, prick, etc. You can't use these to hatefully describe a woman. I'm giving no validity to pointless gossip about which actor or actress is a big meanie stupid-head. I'll likely never meet Ms. Fox, and so I could care less if she knows how many states there are in the U.S. She's an attractive woman who can't act, and that's all that should matter to anyone who doesn't plan on making a film with her. If anything, your problem should be with the culture that gives a shit about any of this, not some random crew members with an axe to gring.

Still, the cries of misogyny are grossly unfounded. Watch Louis CK's "Chewed Up". Sometimes you're just actling like a cunt. Or a bitch. Or an asshole douchebag prick.

Posted by televisiontears at September 13, 2009 12:57 AM

comment #45

televisiontears says ...

"Gring" is the new "grind". Mark it down.

Posted by televisiontears at September 13, 2009 12:59 AM

comment #46

Movie Watcher says ...

The worst thing of all is the possibility of Transformers 3.

Posted by Movie Watcher at September 13, 2009 4:09 AM

comment #47

Renfield says ...

This must go down as one of the most pointless stories of all time.

Posted by Renfield at September 13, 2009 4:19 AM

comment #48

buster keaton says ...

Megan Fox, Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton and the rest of these women are pretty much doing their best work on the pages of Us Weekly and People magazine, where we can just admire their physiques in still photographs without having to hear them try to form a grammatically-correct sentence or logical thought. They make Alicia Silverstone, Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz seem like Nobel Prize laureates. Hopefully, the public will grow bored quickly and will brush them aside for real talent -- Kiera Knightley, Natalie Portman, etc. Ah, for the days of Jodie and Winona!

Posted by buster keaton at September 13, 2009 6:55 AM

comment #49

Noiresque says ...

For the love of GOD. Megan Fox was not hired for her brains, her talent and her kind heart. She was hired because she is a sex-pot. End of story.

These guys should stop their whining.

Posted by Noiresque at September 13, 2009 6:57 AM

comment #50

CitizenKanedforChewingGum says ...

"I'd work up a typical 40-paragraph rant defending either or both, but at some point it's just like shouting into a whirring fan, and about as productive."

I think I'd rather watch you shouting into a whirring fan on YouTube (btw, what happened to all your videos on there?) for the rest of eternity than sit through the soon-to-be-abomination Transformers 3 once.

Posted by CitizenKanedforChewingGum at September 13, 2009 8:42 AM

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They make Alicia Silverstone, Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz seem like Nobel Prize laureates. Hopefully, the public will grow bored quickly and will brush them aside for real talent -- Kiera Knightley, Natalie Portman, etc. Ah, for the days of Jodie and Winona!

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