Snore Guy

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A fellow was snoring in the seat next to me during the last 20 minutes of this morning's Bad Lieutenant screening. Everybody dozes off during festival showings, but this guy was sleeping with his mouth open and making sounds like a hog having its throat cut. At first a woman volunteer came over and whispered that he can't do this, etc. No effect. So I elbowed him a couple of times and murmured the same thing -- "C'mon, man, no snoring." Indifference. More hog sounds.

I must have poked him six or seven times but he wouldn't quit. Or rather he'd quit for a minute or two and then start up again. So I got up and took his picture. I'm posting this as a service to TIFF journalists who may run into this dude during the remainder of the festival. Just desserts. You can't mess with your fellow viewers' absorption in a film and not expect some sort of consequence.

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on September 14, 2009 at 1:12 PM

comment #1

loyal says ...

I thought that was Billy Joel for a moment.

Posted by loyal at September 14, 2009 2:30 PM

comment #2

Stringer Bell says ...

Awaiting Cease & Desist order.

Posted by Stringer Bell at September 14, 2009 2:32 PM

comment #3

JeffK says ...

And to think, a few days ago you felt like apologizing for being harsh at times. This is the Wells we love. Go stick it to those that deserve it.

Posted by JeffK at September 14, 2009 2:33 PM

comment #4

Chase Kahn says ...

Some people just look like they snore...

Posted by Chase Kahn at September 14, 2009 2:40 PM

comment #5

Ryansi51 says ...

he looks like my mechanic.

Posted by Ryansi51 at September 14, 2009 2:43 PM

comment #6

BurmaShave says ...

For the first time in my life, I fell asleep snoring during a showing of STILL WALKING. If you'd been as forceful as my girlfriend about waking him up, probably wouldn't have had to deal with it for so long. I went out and got an iced coffee and I was fine.

Posted by BurmaShave at September 14, 2009 2:44 PM

comment #7

Travis Crabtree says ...

Love the pic.

Looks like one of those wildlife shots where they set up a camera in the woods with a motion-detection-activated shutter. Invariably some bear going after the food bait hears the strobe wind up and looks right into the camera with that same "wuh?' look that this guy has as it goes off.

Sweet.

Posted by Travis Crabtree at September 14, 2009 2:55 PM

comment #8

Geoff says ...

And he's hogging all the elbow room! That would make me royally pissed. My drink would've accidentally fallen into his lap. Great job snapping the pix.

Posted by Geoff at September 14, 2009 3:04 PM

comment #9

arturobandini2 says ...

He looks like Jim Cramer.

Posted by arturobandini2 at September 14, 2009 3:08 PM

comment #10

The Winchester says ...

You can't get too mad at him for sleeping in a theater, he probably just left his hat at the B&B last year.

Posted by The Winchester at September 14, 2009 3:18 PM

comment #11

Zach says ...

Simply brilliant. The left side of his face looks like he's snapped out of it, but the right side is still dozing.

Posted by Zach at September 14, 2009 3:20 PM

comment #12

The Winchester says ...

He looks like Brent Briscoe in A Simple Plan. I wouldn't trust him.

Posted by The Winchester at September 14, 2009 3:27 PM

comment #13

corey3rd says ...

the wall of shame!

Posted by corey3rd at September 14, 2009 3:32 PM

comment #14

The Lord of Misrule says ...

As dangerous as it would have the potential of being, I actually think that this would be a great idea in a sort of "Dark Knight" Joker kind of way

If more of us did what you did and posted said pictures, it could be the start of the re-civilization of the movie going experince.

Who's with me (and Jeff)!?

Posted by The Lord of Misrule at September 14, 2009 3:46 PM

comment #15

Mr. F. says ...

Time for a serious question: Wells, are we to assume this was taken DURING the movie?

If so... isn't it possible that to most of the people in the theatre, your camera flash was MORE disruptive than someone snoring? Just sayin'...

Posted by Mr. F. at September 14, 2009 3:46 PM

comment #16

Circumvrent says ...

This is awesome. Jeffrey, you're a hero.

Posted by Circumvrent at September 14, 2009 3:58 PM

comment #17

Mr. F. says ...

(Don't get me wrong -- I actually hate snorers... anyone who gets too loud during a movie, really)

That brings to mind a question: at what point does someone's response to a movie -- excepting snoring, talking on the phone, general discourtesy -- cross the line?

I've been to comedies where we've had our own Max Cady to deal with, as someone HOWLS at something that's only moderately amusing, laughing by themselves and drowning out dialogue... I've also been to a drama (romance, I think -- can't recall) where a woman was sobbing. I mean... SOBBING. Now, none of these were cases where I should have gotten pissed -- they were *honest* reactions, after all -- and yet I did anyway. Is it just decibel level/proximity? Can you be TOO loud at the theatre, when you're just so wrapped up and affected by what's on screen that you can't help it? I mean... that should be a GOOD thing... no?

Of course, I'm the guy who won't open a box of candy during the movie, because he thinks the noise of the plastic is too loud...

Posted by Mr. F. at September 14, 2009 4:06 PM

comment #18

NotImpressed1Yet says ...

This was 100% a correct thing to do.

Posted by NotImpressed1Yet at September 14, 2009 4:07 PM

comment #19

Ryansi51 says ...

Yeah i'd love to know what this guy said after you stood up to take his picture in the middle of the film, or even if it was right after. you've got huevos, i'll give you that.

Posted by Ryansi51 at September 14, 2009 4:09 PM

comment #20

Josh Massey says ...

Mr. F: Absolutely, you can be too loud at a theater, even if the reaction is honest (and they rarely are; over-laughers just want everybody around them to know they got the joke).

I had The Hangover completely ruined by two fratbags who had to guffaw over every little gag.

Posted by Josh Massey at September 14, 2009 5:02 PM

comment #21

Tim says ...

This is why I love this site.

Posted by Tim at September 14, 2009 5:25 PM

comment #22

CitizenKanedforChewingGum says ...

"Of course, I'm the guy who won't open a box of candy during the movie, because he thinks the noise of the plastic is too loud..."

Wow, you sound like a really fun & spontaneous guy...

Posted by CitizenKanedforChewingGum at September 14, 2009 5:26 PM

comment #23

Aris P says ...

And what did he say to you after you took the pic?

Posted by Aris P at September 14, 2009 5:43 PM

comment #24

Sabina E says ...

haha.

Posted by Sabina E at September 14, 2009 5:44 PM

comment #25

LexG says ...

This is awesome.

Snorers are way, way up there on the list of biggest moviegoing nuisances. Yes, chattering teens, recapping old timers, and texting assholes are one thing... but a loud snorer can sap every bit of energy and enthusiasm out of an entire room because it plays as persistent commentary on the movie and is just so damn inescapable.

I have also have a pet peeve about those people who suck on their teeth or eat candy with a POPPING cluck sound, but very few people I'm with ever seem to notice when that's going down. I must have some super-hearing that pick out and be annoyed by tongue-clucking... and people who tap their sandals/loose shoes on the ground during quiet parts.

Posted by LexG at September 14, 2009 5:49 PM

comment #26

The Hoyk says ...

In L.A., there's this pathetic old man known to the theatre operators as "Wheezy," who pretty much uses the cinemas as a flophouse, and he snores like a sick submarine. He lives in his car, yet manages to have enough money to buy bulk tickets to all the chains so none of them will ban him. Plus, I've been to some screenings at night where aside from my party, he was the only one there, which means had we not come, the poor staff would have to run the last show of the night for a guy who's not even watching it. What do you do about shlumpfs like these who just suck all the pleasantry out of the room?

Posted by The Hoyk at September 14, 2009 6:15 PM

comment #27

slutsky says ...

AHAHAHA! SO that's what that flashbulb was all about! I was like, "why did someone just take a picture 3/4 of the way throuh the movie"? Hahahah!!

Posted by slutsky at September 14, 2009 7:18 PM

comment #28

Mr. F. says ...

Aw, come on, C.K. -- I'm plenty fun and spontaneous.

I sometimes have trouble tearing open the plastic in the dark, and I always feel like a jackass if I have to make a lot of noise to do so. (Red Vines: easy to open; Raisinets: not so much...) I get annoyed at other people's noise in the theatre, and don't like to do the same thing.

Posted by Mr. F. at September 14, 2009 11:08 PM

comment #29

CitizenKanedforChewingGum says ...

Just teasin', Mr. F, I feel the same way. Sometimes. But if the movie is big and loud and dumb, I'll just rip into the fucker with no remorse.

Posted by CitizenKanedforChewingGum at September 14, 2009 11:14 PM

comment #30

eoguy says ...

Bahahhahahhaa, this is a gem. Vigilante justice.

Posted by eoguy at September 14, 2009 11:26 PM

comment #31

Noiresque says ...

Josh: "I had The Hangover completely ruined by two fratbags who had to guffaw over every little gag."

Yep, the same thing happened to me in Lost In Translation, The Squid and the Whale, Roger Dodger and Garden State - films that are so self-knowing that the added self-knowing chuckling by hipsters in the audience made the experience almost unbearable and me unable to give the films a chance. Is it any wonder I cannot bear Jesse Eisenberg?

Posted by Noiresque at September 15, 2009 6:18 AM

comment #32

Krillian says ...

I had the first Matrix marred for me that way by four frat guys right in front of me (non-stadium seating) who had to yell "Cool!" or "Awesome!" during every action sequence.

Posted by Krillian at September 15, 2009 6:45 AM

comment #33

CitizenKanedforChewingGum says ...

Well, to be fair, The Matrix actually was pretty fuckin' cool and awesome.

Those four frat guys probably got back from the screening and wondered who that quiet buzzkill was sitting behind them.

Posted by CitizenKanedforChewingGum at September 15, 2009 7:42 AM

comment #34

Stringer Bell says ...

Me and my wife are too easily annoyed by the various sounds going on in the audience at a movie theatre, but I'm truly wondering if we would have been bothered by any of it when we were in our 20s?

Seems like with age comes a lack of patience at life's minutia. Ignorance is indeed bliss.

Posted by Stringer Bell at September 15, 2009 9:14 AM

comment #35

Colin says ...

Funny story I went to see Inglourious Basterds the other day had to work the past previous weekends managed to not read any spoilers only to have a Abercrombie douche sit behind texting away. I shh'd him repeatedly and he finally caps it off by saying Hitler dies in it asshole.

I grabbed his phone and threw it against the wall smashing it into pieces. He punched me right in the face but the rest of the movie was quiet.

Posted by Colin at September 15, 2009 10:41 AM

comment #36

Mr. F. says ...

Krillian/C.K. -- see, that's what I'm trying to figure out.

I would have also been annoyed by having to sit through that in THE MATRIX as well... but isn't that wrong? I mean... assuming their reactions were honest -- or rather, not alcohol-/chemical-induced -- shouldn't we be *happy* when a movie reaches an audience, so much so that it causes non-film buffs to exclaim "Awesome!" and "COOL!" (That's assuming you weren't at a late night show on a Friday or Saturday night in a college town on opening weekend, in which case kids cheering and talking through a good movie is the norm)

I think I'd rather sit through an effective film where people are reacting noisily, than an ineffective, totally AVERAGE film where everyone sits passively, bored out of their minds. But ask me again in another ten years...

Posted by Mr. F. at September 15, 2009 10:44 AM

comment #37

Krazy Eyes says ...

Ironically, I've had some of my most annoying "noisy" screenings at TIFF as well, specifically Midnight Madness. There is nothing worse than trying to watch a decent horror film (sadly too few and far between where midnight madness is concerned) with a hundred incredibly unfunny dorks trying to pretend they're the second coming of MST3000.

Pretty much the main reason I stopped going. Win-win. I would get a good night's sleep and still be able to catch the movie the next day.

Posted by Krazy Eyes at September 15, 2009 11:23 AM

comment #38

mizerock says ...

There are no right answers. Everyone has their own rules for what is "proper" behavior. This person is too rude, this person is too uptight. "I don't like the way this guy chews his popcorn / laughs / breathes / sighs / sits in his chair / has blotchy skin" - is that really HIS problem, or are you just being hypersensitive and pathetic? And being even more bothersome yourself by interupting HIS movie because of YOUR weakness?

But I think we can all agree that snoring, loudly and continuously (after being warned!) is a bootable offense. Trying to see every movie at TIFF? Hey, nice goal. But you've failed. And your failure is ruining the experience for everyone else. You need to leave. Seriously, why wasn't he escorted out after starting up again after a warning?

Years ago, I wanted to create a website of photos of everyone who tried the "my car ran out of gas" scam on me. Send me my $5 back within a week, no photo will be posted. Fail to do so, and my famous "gas scam" web page will make you part of an internet meme. [didn't people try to do this with papparazzi?]

But man, sometimes you just gotta let it go. Yes, people suck. And some people are going to think that YOU suck ... and Jeff, I think you'll even admit that people aren't always wrong when they say that about you. So much anger, it's so sad to see it ... even if (because?) it's not an entirely unfamiliar emotion for me.

Posted by mizerock at September 15, 2009 2:53 PM

comment #39

mizerock says ...

The glow of an iPhone during a movie bugs me - really, you have to do your texting, now? - those things are really bright! But then I remember that it's 2009, and that these things are accepted now. The battle was fought, and lost, years ago. I picture myself shaking my fist and telling the guy to get off my lawn. Then I smile and get back to watching the movie.

Posted by mizerock at September 15, 2009 2:57 PM

comment #40

Mr. F. says ...

Mizerock -- what's the $5 gas scam? (Let me guess: "My car's out of gas and I have no money... can you spare five bucks?")

Having lived in Los Angeles as long as I have... I'm surprised I've never been hit up by that. I guess people are too busy just asking for money on freeway off-ramps.

Posted by Mr. F. at September 15, 2009 3:18 PM

comment #41

Ryansi51 says ...

Mizerock, that's hardly a "scam." theyre just broke and need cash, and you really think theyd care if you posted their photo??!

Posted by Ryansi51 at September 15, 2009 4:18 PM

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comment #47

illusion says ...

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comment #48

akshay says ...

The battle was fought, and lost, years ago. I picture myself shaking my fist and telling the guy to get off my lawn. Then I smile and get back to watching the movie.
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comment #53

badpete says ...

my aunt's snores are like a lion's roar . .

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Posted by badpete at December 6, 2009 8:35 AM

comment #54

badpete says ...

I've been to comedies where we've had our own Max Cady to deal with, as someone HOWLS at something that's only moderately amusing, laughing by themselves and drowning out dialogue , cheers!

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comment #55

boatsonline says ...

Wow, thats a pretty bold move. Slander and including a picture like that could land you in some hot water along the line.
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comment #56

badpete says ...

Me and my wife are too easily annoyed by the various sounds going on in the audience at a movie theatre, but I'm truly wondering if we would have been bothered by any of it when we were in our 20s?

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comment #57

badpete says ...

AHAHAHA! SO that's what that flashbulb was all about! I was like, "why did someone just take a picture 3/4 of the way throuh the movie"? Hahahah!!

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comment #59

saada123 says ...

first a woman volunteer came over and whispered that he can't do this, etc. No effect
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comment #60

badpete says ...

Yeah i'd love to know what this guy said after you stood up to take his picture in the middle of the film, or even if it was right after. you've got huevos, i'll give you that.

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Posted by badpete at December 21, 2009 10:46 PM

comment #61

badpete says ...

Just teasin', Mr. F, I feel the same way. Sometimes. But if the movie is big and loud and dumb, I'll just rip into the fucker with no remorse.

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Posted by badpete at December 28, 2009 9:47 AM

comment #62

badpete says ...

Having lived in Los Angeles as long as I have... I'm surprised I've never been hit up by that. I guess people are too busy just asking for money on freeway off-ramps.

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comment #63