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Seeking Oscar Host
With Hugh Jackman stating he's not interested in hosting the 2010 Oscars, and the show's new producers (Bill Mechanic, Adam Shankman) presumably aware that drawing younger viewers is a priority, let me repeat a truism voiced two years ago by Manhattan ad exec Shari Anne Brill, to wit: "Younger viewers live their lives pushing the envelope, breaking rules and bending rules. As long as the Oscars are perceived to have a certain rigidity, they're not going to be relatable to young people."
In other words, don't hire another setttled smoothie. You don't want your next host performing a 75 year-old Fred Astaire tune in evening finery -- you want Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson (the most innovative/hilarious team to occupy the Oscar stage in recent years), or anyone for that matter with a post-9/11 fuck-all sense of humor and smarty-pants inclinations. I don't care if Sarah Silverman's humor is of the LQTM variety -- she's da bomb. If the Vince Vaughn of the Wedding Crashers could host the show, the show would be instant gold. Suggestions? No more boomers, no more nods to boomer sensibilities...boomers are done.
Posted by Jeffrey Wells on October 30, 2009 at 5:08 AM
comment #1
drbob
says ...
Sarah Silverman's comedy is not of the LQTM variety. She's of the OMG I can't believe she said that variety, or the pretty girl with potty mouth variety.
Posted by drbob
at October 30, 2009 5:31 AM
comment #2
Phreaker
says ...
I don't think appealing to the young and dumb and full of cum is exactly the way to go either, though. It's not like this is your target Oscar audience anyway. You're looking to get the Law and Order crowd, the Oprah crowd - this is how TV ratings are measured. Most of the young-ish TV shows bomb out of the gate because young people have zero attention spans. On top of which, young people are getting their news and info online - they don't really care anyway. The only way they are going to tune in is if movies they like are represented, like Twilight.
I say, we are doomed if we head down that road -- we don't look to the young to lead us; we must lead the young. So yes, boomers, bring it on.
Posted by Phreaker
at October 30, 2009 5:42 AM
comment #3
Josh Massey
says ...
I used to be leading the Sarah Silverman bandwagon, but man, has that bit gotten tired. Ooh, the pretty girl said something dirty! How wacky!
Posted by Josh Massey
at October 30, 2009 5:47 AM
comment #4
worrywort
says ...
Sacha Baron Cohen sans any of his characters.
Posted by worrywort
at October 30, 2009 5:50 AM
comment #5
corey3rd
says ...
why not go weird - forget Ben and Owen (played out). Go for two people who seem to pop up in every movie - Stephen Tobolowsky and Jane Lynch. Or just Jane Lynch.
Posted by corey3rd
at October 30, 2009 5:51 AM
comment #6
Eloi Manning
says ...
Justin Timberlake is the obvious choice. He's popular across the board after his SNL stuff, he's done a few movies and whatnot, he could do the singing and dancing fine and he could rope in the Lonely Island guys to do some Digital Shorts like the "Real Men Don't Look At Explosions" song from the MTV Movie Awards.
No-brainer.
Posted by Eloi Manning
at October 30, 2009 6:11 AM
comment #7
zyg
says ...
if ampas wants to try for the young crowd, fine. i don't see the under 40 crowd caring about oscar in the next ten years.
ampas is very conservative. i don't think they'll bend. i see the oscars doing a fast fade in favor of some yet to be invented internet production
Posted by zyg
at October 30, 2009 6:18 AM
comment #8
erniesouchak
says ...
Stiller's Joaquin Phoenix schtick last year was funny to maybe 10 people.
Posted by erniesouchak
at October 30, 2009 6:21 AM
comment #9
Chase Kahn
says ...
The odds of Sarah Silverman hosting the Oscars are about the same for Idris Elba...
Posted by Chase Kahn
at October 30, 2009 6:32 AM
comment #10
berkguru
says ...
Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan
Posted by berkguru
at October 30, 2009 6:41 AM
comment #11
BurmaShave
says ...
I agree with Phreaker that they're going for the Oprah crowd. Why not just get Oprah...
Posted by BurmaShave
at October 30, 2009 6:51 AM
comment #12
Jeffrey Wells
says ...
Wells to erniesourchak: The point is, it was funny to the right 10 people.
Wells to Eloi Manning: Justin Timberlake? Let me tell you a story. I was at a party back in '06 for In Her Shoes, and everyone was starting to gather their things and head home. Cameron Diaz was standing next to me, and next to her there was this not-great-looking, vaguely crabby-minded guy whom I took for a chauffeur or some guy who shouldn't have been invited. Underwhelming to look at or listen to, trust me. That guy was Justin Timberlake.
Posted by Jeffrey Wells
at October 30, 2009 6:54 AM
comment #13
jmevans
says ...
vince vaughn would be a perfect host. quick wit, the ability to improvise when needed. the oscars need to hire someone under 55 every year that people will enjoy. jackman was a great choice last year, but let's get someone new in there every year. mix things up. why can't tom hanks do it one year? and then maybe aziz azzari another year (not famous enough, but can win over the crowd). wanda sykes too comes to mind.
i just think the oscars are an hour too long and need to cut a lot of awards that the general public doesn't give two shits about. and 10 best picture nominees? for the love of God. keep it at five.
another thing. you ever watch the bafta's? on bbc america the show is 2 hours, filled with modern rock music as the presenters come out to the stage, no music numbers, and jonathan ross keeps things funny and light. oscar's could learn a lot from stealing on the bafta's show.
Posted by jmevans
at October 30, 2009 7:01 AM
comment #14
Alvy Singer
says ...
He's in the boomer category, but Larry David would be hilarious.
Ricky Gervais?
Steven Colbert?
Posted by Alvy Singer
at October 30, 2009 7:05 AM
comment #15
Matthew Starr
says ...
Sacha Baron Cohen.....
Posted by Matthew Starr
at October 30, 2009 7:06 AM
comment #16
Apemantus
says ...
While I miss the frayed-at-the-edges, old hollywood Oscars of my youth (the 1970s), I'd be glad to see boomers gone... yet 'sucking up to the kids' depresses me, too (they already dictate, what, 80% of the movies that get made?). Do we really need to be patting ourselves on the back for the culture we're giving the world at this particular moment in time? How about we just call the whole thing off?
Posted by Apemantus
at October 30, 2009 7:11 AM
comment #17
Aris P
says ...
Since when does the 15 year old matter to the Oscars? Give me a break. No one below a certain age (unless they're movie freaks, like most of us are/were at the age) cares. Period. Never did. Only in today's rating-saturated, ad-revenue-pleading, need-a-hit-INSTANTLY media culture does this shit matter. Who cares if their ratings are low -- everyone's ratings are low. A great night is a 9 share these days. It is what it is. 10 nominations, Vince Vaughn, eliminating the In Memoriam section... enough already. Give it a rest.
Posted by Aris P
at October 30, 2009 7:11 AM
comment #18
Josh Massey
says ...
Actually, I'll back Eloi up: Justin Timberlake turned in the best awards show host performance I have ever seen (last year's ESPY awards). Seriously, the guy destroyed.
Posted by Josh Massey
at October 30, 2009 7:13 AM
comment #19
Eloi Manning
says ...
"Justin Timberlake? Let me tell you a story. I was at a party back in '06 for In Her Shoes, and everyone was starting to gather their things and head home. Cameron Diaz was standing next to me, and next to her there was this not-great-looking, vaguely crabby-minded guy whom I took for a chauffeur or some guy who shouldn't have been invited. Underwhelming to look at or listen to, trust me. That guy was Justin Timberlake."
That's great, but the fact is that he has a legion of fans across the globe, appeals to the younger crowd without turning off the old folks, and is a multi-talented performer who is as versatile as Jackman was, which seems to be their new thing.
I doubt after last year's show they're going to want to go back to some caustic humorist. Wasn't Jon Stewart supposed to be an attempt to draw in the younger crowd? He was great, but the establishment hated him because he didn't bow down to the altar of Hollywood. They'd rather end the ceremony completely than hire Sarah Silverman as host.
Anyway, the sooner the Oscars dies, the better.
Posted by Eloi Manning
at October 30, 2009 7:26 AM
comment #20
MrG
says ...
Eliminating In Memorium THIS year would shave off a good 45 minutes.
Posted by MrG
at October 30, 2009 7:27 AM
comment #21
jmevans
says ...
The Oscars are not going to die anytime soon. They just need to cut the fat from the show (the music numbers, too many catagories televised).
And 10 nominees is simply absurd.
Posted by jmevans
at October 30, 2009 7:34 AM
comment #22
jmevans
says ...
Timberlake would be a great host.
Posted by jmevans
at October 30, 2009 7:35 AM
comment #23
Pynchon8
says ...
Hmmm, watch Vince the motor mouth flub his ad-libs or a shrill she-man make poop jokes? I will pass.
Posted by Pynchon8
at October 30, 2009 7:39 AM
comment #24
bluefugue
says ...
How about Steve Carrell?
Posted by bluefugue
at October 30, 2009 7:46 AM
comment #25
M. Hulot
says ...
I found it very ironic that you have spent the better part of this entire year railing on about the dumbing down of movies in order to appeal to the lowest-common-denominator masses, yet you have no problem suggesting that the Academy do so to garner a higher ratings share?
That is exactly what the studios do when they decide to make a movie like Transformers 2, and now you're actually encouraging the very same behavior--commerce over quality or class, at all costs, because the bottom line is more important than the actual artistic value of anything.
It was bad enough they appeased the so-called fans by expanding the Best Picture category, now you're advocating that they make another concession by trying to get a host that skews young? What kind of snob are you, Jeffrey Wells?
Fuck the numbers, fuck ABC, and fuck the Academy for trying to please everybody.
Posted by M. Hulot
at October 30, 2009 7:49 AM
comment #26
M. Hulot
says ...
Bluefugue, I would also add Lewis Black to the list. Though, Carrell is the best suggestion yet.
Posted by M. Hulot
at October 30, 2009 7:52 AM
comment #27
Matt Holmes
says ...
My suggestion would be for a multiple hosting team, something we haven't seen since 1986 and that would shake up what has become a pretty tedious and stale yearly ceremony.
I say go for the comedy foursome of Jon Stewart (surely the best Oscar host of this decade), Stephen Colbert, Steve Carell and Ricky Gervais (who just got the Golden Globes gig)... and give them absolute freedom to say and do whatever the hell they like.
With multiple hosts, you're not going to get sick of them so quickly as it will keep jumping back and forth from one another and all of those guys can improvise, are quick witted and we all know they are friends, which would just add to banter.
Otherwise, I say Tom Hanks is a pretty decent shout. Hard to believe he's never hosted the ceremony, ain't it?
Posted by Matt Holmes
at October 30, 2009 7:55 AM
comment #28
Travis Crabtree
says ...
So, of the ten people who thought the Stiller/Phoenix thing was hilarious, eight of them were me and my friends. What're the odds?
Never eliminate the In Memorium. It doesn't take that long, is very moving and.... shut up! It's staying!
Get rid of the gay-ass song and dance bullshit. Best Song is a relatively minor category, and yet an inordinate amount of time is spent towards it in an effort to bring singing and dancing to the show.
Longer, better clips of the Best Pic nominees. (aren't they trying to sell these films, anyway?)
I thought Steve Martin was perfect a few years ago, then they followed it up with fucking Whoopi.
Stephen Colbert, anyone? Sasha Baron Cohen is a good idea.
Of course we're all wasting our breath. It'll end up being Joy Behar barking lame, cross-eyed Bruce Villanche "jokes".
Posted by Travis Crabtree
at October 30, 2009 7:56 AM
comment #29
Eloi Manning
says ...
Russell Brand would do it. The networks would hate him though.
The BAFTAs are definitely more watchable. Jonathan Ross is a good host, and previously they had Stephen Fry who was alright.
Posted by Eloi Manning
at October 30, 2009 8:06 AM
comment #30
corey3rd
says ...
Have Roman Polanski host it from his Swiss Cell.
Posted by corey3rd
at October 30, 2009 8:08 AM
comment #31
Matthew Starr
says ...
One site is reporting that NPH is in.
http://wearemoviegeeks.com/2009/10/exclusive-neil-patrick-harris-is-hosting-the-2010-academy-awards/
Posted by Matthew Starr
at October 30, 2009 8:33 AM
comment #32
Overstreet
says ...
Robert Downey Jr. - The kids love Iron Man, and the adults love Downey Jr.
Kids wouldn't watch it for Alec Baldwin, but I would.
I'm no fan of Simon Cowell, but something tells me it would be hilarious to see him scorn Hollywood's elite. And the kids love American Idol.
But if forced to cast only one vote, my vote goes to Will Ferrell as James Lipton.
Posted by Overstreet
at October 30, 2009 8:37 AM
comment #33
CitizenKanedforChewingGum
says ...
I'd be on board with Vince Vaughn, Larry David, or even Woody Allen (who absolutely KILLED when he did that Oscar bit a few years ago) for my more "conservative" selections.
But I definitely like corey's "weird" idea, though most probably wouldn't. In that case, I'd be interested in guys like Crispin Glover, Jim Gaffigan, or Werner Herzog. Those will never-ever happen, though.
Sacha Baron Cohen sans his characters? Don't take this the wrong way, but I saw an interview with SBC "being himself" once -- he just wasn't really that funny or interesting. Dude has an absolutely killer knack for building funny character traits, though. Why not get him to do a new character for the Academy Awards (one caveat: make it nothing like Bruno!).
The more I think about it the more I reailze there IS at least one perfect host for this year's Oscars. Like all successful ceremony hosts, he's both the perfect Hollywood insider (to entertain the nominees at the Kodak Theatre) AND the perfect outsider (to entertain us at home). Plus, it's been a bit of a revival of sorts for him this year.
Quentin Tarantino.
Think about it.
Oh, and shut up already, DeeZee.
Posted by CitizenKanedforChewingGum
at October 30, 2009 8:41 AM
comment #34
CitizenKanedforChewingGum
says ...
Downey is also a very, very good call. Has that rare, insider/outsider appeal.
Posted by CitizenKanedforChewingGum
at October 30, 2009 8:42 AM
comment #35
George Prager
says ...
They should get rid of the short film awards (live-action, animation, documentary), make sure that guy who won for make-up last year is banned from the Academy, and make the stage where you accept your award the circumference of a table at a Chinese restaurant. This way, if a large group of producers goes up together to accept their awards as a group, at least one of them will fall off. Also, if you are from England, and you win an award, you are banned from thanking your small children and telling them to go to bed.
Posted by George Prager
at October 30, 2009 8:45 AM
comment #36
Josh Massey
says ...
Neil Patrick Harris is a great, hilarious, multi-talented guy - but I just prefer the host to be known for their work on the big screen (of course, the Academy doesn't care, with Letterman and Stewart).
At least we'd get a Clara's Heart joke (who would have thought that movie could produce two Oscar hosts?).
Posted by Josh Massey
at October 30, 2009 8:49 AM
comment #37
George Prager
says ...
Johnny Carson
Posted by George Prager
at October 30, 2009 9:02 AM
comment #38
Stringer Bell
says ...
Uma and Oprah should co-host.
Posted by Stringer Bell
at October 30, 2009 9:13 AM
comment #39
corey3rd
says ...
RON JEREMY
Posted by corey3rd
at October 30, 2009 9:27 AM
comment #40
QualityGibberish
says ...
Fred Armisen and Zach Galiafinakis
Posted by QualityGibberish
at October 30, 2009 9:32 AM
comment #41
George Prager
says ...
Jon Voight
Posted by George Prager
at October 30, 2009 9:37 AM
comment #42
Circumvrent
says ...
Vince Vaughn is still probably the best suggestion so far.
Clooney would be great, because he's a smartass and still one of the cool kids, but he probably works too much now in too many Oscar-caliber projects to want to host.
You know who I always like on Letterman? Barry Levinson. He'd be pretty fun, too.
What about Jack?
Posted by Circumvrent
at October 30, 2009 9:39 AM
comment #43
Eloi Manning
says ...
"Clooney would be great, because he's a smartass and still one of the cool kids, but he probably works too much now in too many Oscar-caliber projects to want to host."
Clooney's Oscar acceptance speech was insufferably smug. He's too enamoured with the old-school glamour of Hollywood to be a good host. It'd be boring.
Posted by Eloi Manning
at October 30, 2009 9:41 AM
comment #44
Circumvrent
says ...
What about a joint venture with Clooney and the rest of the surviving Ocean's 13?
Posted by Circumvrent
at October 30, 2009 9:45 AM
comment #45
DarthCorleone
says ...
Yeah, yeah, I know they're old, it could never happen, and it's not the mandate for this thread. But inspired by last year's doc competition, I decided that Philippe Petit and Werner Herzog could be the coolest co-hosts in Oscar history, and I still think that's the case.
Posted by DarthCorleone
at October 30, 2009 10:05 AM
comment #46
Josh Massey
says ...
Well, obviously, the coolest host in the history of the show would be Jack. But don't give him a script, don't write any jokes, shove a drink down his throat at EVERY commercial break, and occasionally poke him with a big stick, like you're trying to stir a hornet's nest.
He'll do the rest.
Posted by Josh Massey
at October 30, 2009 10:39 AM
comment #47
George Prager
says ...
Gore Vidal
Posted by George Prager
at October 30, 2009 10:48 AM
comment #48
reverent and free
says ...
A couple ideas that didn't work this year:
*You need to show clips of the nominated performances. For a lot of people watching it will be the first time that they see them. Hey, it's a show about movies, you want to see clips. I doubt that they'll continue the idea of past winners as a welcoming party, but if they do, they should put the clips back in.
*Don't mess up the In Memoriam segment again. How do you expect us to see the departed when you don't put the clip on direct feed and have Queen Latifah standing in the way?
I don't know about this American Idolization of the Oscars. They're supposed to be classier than the half dozen award shows that precede them.
Posted by reverent and free
at October 30, 2009 11:39 AM
comment #49
lazarus
says ...
He's probably not popular enough yet, but how about Jon Hamm? He's good-looking and charismatic, and unlike a lot of the suggestions, actually has class. He's on arguably the best show on television, and his SNL hosting gig (specifically his James Mason impression) showed he has the comedy chops as well. As the saying goes, guys want to be him, women want to fuck him, no?
Posted by lazarus
at October 30, 2009 12:05 PM
comment #50
hollyman
says ...
A host will not help the show. Just cut the show down to two hours...
Posted by hollyman
at October 30, 2009 1:15 PM
comment #51
AitchCS
says ...
I know Ricky Gervais is hosting the GG but would LOVE to see him host the Oscars!!!
Posted by AitchCS
at October 30, 2009 1:29 PM
comment #52
Stringer Bell
says ...
Bring back Oliver Reed !
Posted by Stringer Bell
at October 30, 2009 1:46 PM
comment #53
dinovelvet
says ...
I remember Sacha Baron Cohen got the biggest laugh when he presented at the Golden globes, he made a joke about (paraphrasing)..."Madonna just fired her latest assistant, but I'm sure Guy will get work elsewhere"
Posted by dinovelvet
at October 30, 2009 2:01 PM
comment #54
bfm
says ...
I like the suggestions above of either Tom Hanks and Robert Downey Jnr.
Stewart/Colbert/Carell just aren't funny when they get together and wing it - think of the last two Emmys.
Sylvester Stallone is pretty funny too.
Posted by bfm
at October 30, 2009 2:38 PM
comment #55
berkguru
says ...
No host needed. Just have Morgan Freeman introduce all nominations. Show more clips of each nominated performer/movie. Have 1 comedic montage and 1 dramatic montage. Dont televise 40% of the categories (all the boring art/costume/editing crap). Make sure broadcast is 2 hours top. Ratings would triple.
Posted by berkguru
at October 30, 2009 3:12 PM
comment #56
George Prager
says ...
Combine it with a very special episode of "Extreme Home Makeover." All the nominees help build a McMansion in Bakersfield and then they have the awards show live at the house.
Posted by George Prager
at October 30, 2009 3:19 PM
comment #57
CMAC
says ...
I'm thinking outside the....envelope.
I suggest Jennifer Aniston.
Before everybody paints their ass black and runs screaming into the night, consider this: She's hot. And pretty much every single male on the planet excluding gay men (however I personally know 3 who would) regardless of what you believe her "acting abilities" to be, would FUCK her.
So there's that demographic. Males 6-106 yrs
She funny. Ever watch her in an interview? Lettermen, Oprah, Leno, etc take your pick. She has a ribald sense of humour and more importantly about herself. Very self deprecating and doesn't care.
So that takes care of the 11 through 49 year old female demograpahic. (Hello! her perfect bod, hair n'clothes?) Not to mention the 28-49 year old lesbian demo...cause let's be honest, THEY'RE gonna kick her outta bed?
So who's left? Oh right. The old gals.50-106 yrs.
(At the risk of stating the obvious, brought to you straight out of the supermarket at the cashier's lineup):
"That poor Jennifer girl!! Her husband was STOLEN by that devil woman who grabs children from huts in Africa and Kenya and forces them to drink blood and even wear it around their necks and then drags them to foreign places all over the world INCLUDING FRANCE!! and has intercourse with all manners of people. It's all RIGHT here in muh magazine! You stay strong Jennifer!"
I rest my case
PS? She does make movies...albeit stinky crapfest movies..but they're still movies and it is afterall an award show for movies.
Posted by CMAC
at October 30, 2009 3:52 PM
comment #58
Doug Pratt
says ...
Miley Cyrus
Posted by Doug Pratt
at October 30, 2009 5:29 PM
comment #59
Luis
says ...
Toni Colette as Tara, T, Bud, Alice and anything she wants to do
Posted by Luis
at October 30, 2009 5:49 PM
comment #60
Joe G
says ...
Late to the party, who cares anymore? But is Timberlake hosts I'm going to miss my first Oscars since '92. He's beyond a lightweight. And the horse Shia Leboef (sp?) rode in on.
Posted by Joe G
at October 30, 2009 7:32 PM
comment #61
Cadavra
says ...
Surprised no one's yet mentioned a guy who would not only be great but could pull in both boomers and kids: Craig Ferguson.
Posted by Cadavra
at October 31, 2009 10:02 AM
comment #62
Travis Crabtree
says ...
I like where you're going, Berkguru, only one change.
Freeman's Voice should host the Oscars. Have it piped in ambiently, knowingly, wisely. His smooth tones could fill the auditorium with hope and inspiration.
Posted by Travis Crabtree
at October 31, 2009 10:09 AM
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