A Great Story?

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To me it's just more of the same improbable, nobody-could-ever-survive-this-in-real-life action-movie horseshit. I stopped even half-believing what I was seeing before the guy was up the tree. Jean-Luc Godard would spit on it.

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on November 8, 2009 at 3:28 PM

comment #1

solus says ...

I thought it was kind of funny.....maybe Godard would have spit milk through his nose,,,,

Posted by solus at November 8, 2009 4:07 PM

comment #2

Ryansi51 says ...

yeah jeff i think youre taking it a bit too seriously.. bad weekend or something?

Posted by Ryansi51 at November 8, 2009 4:26 PM

comment #3

frankbooth says ...

I saw a Roadrunner cartoon the other day and I didn't buy a second of it. Bergman would have puked, Tarkovsky would have screamed and Bresson would have had a fatal aneurysm.

Posted by frankbooth at November 8, 2009 4:37 PM

comment #4

Gogocrank says ...

Um, isn't the whole premise that he's such a great screenwriter he can sell even such an overtly BS nobody-ever-survives-this story?

Posted by Gogocrank at November 8, 2009 5:40 PM

comment #5

Glenn Kenny says ...

Exactly, Gogocrank, but I wish you'd have let the thread bloom a little more before pointing that out.

Bela Tarr would administer an unanesthetized root canal on himself. Eric Rohmer would lop off his own penis with an electric carving knife. Michael Haneke would anglicize his name.

You know, more stuff like that.

Posted by Glenn Kenny at November 8, 2009 6:02 PM

comment #6

BurmaShave says ...

yes, very much so. Wells, very much off his game today.

Posted by BurmaShave at November 8, 2009 6:03 PM

comment #7

Mgmax, le Corbeau says ...

Murnau would have wrecked his car. Lang would have shot his first wife.

Posted by Mgmax, le Corbeau at November 8, 2009 6:08 PM

comment #8

frankbooth says ...

Ron Howard would have made a great film.

Posted by frankbooth at November 8, 2009 6:16 PM

comment #9

matt cousens says ...

Whenever you miss the point Jeff, you reeeeeeaaaaalllly miss the point. My god.

Posted by matt cousens at November 8, 2009 6:39 PM

comment #10

moveable hype says ...

Micheal Bay would have walked away from it in slow motion while it blew up in the background.

Posted by moveable hype at November 8, 2009 6:53 PM

comment #11

Caustic712 says ...

Michael Mann would have smothered it, but we'd be talking about the visual fumes coming off it for years to come.

Posted by Caustic712 at November 8, 2009 7:38 PM

comment #12

berg says ...

Glenn K. - I think it's Marco Ferrari who would've loped his penis off with an electric carving knife, Rohmer would've had them deliver a twenty-minute dialogue on the nature of human destructiveness through unrequited love

Posted by berg at November 8, 2009 8:03 PM

comment #13

DeeZee says ...

Courtesy of Scott Green @ AICN Anime, The Matrix, silent film-style.
http://englishrussia.com/?p=5973
Article on PJ as producer.
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/film/news/e3i8875589fada415ac073dd3a1bb55a06a
Paltrow and Kidman get in touch with their androgynous sides.
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/film/news/e3i8875589fada415ac073dd3a1bb55a06a
Kristen Stewart's new 'do.
http://www.variety.com/review/VE1117941565.html?categoryid=34&cs=1
Jamie Foxx and Martin Lawrence: together at last?
http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118011035.html?categoryid=13&cs=1
New 2012 spots+clip.
http://www.themoviebox.net/movies/2009/0-9ABC/2012/trailer.php

Posted by DeeZee at November 8, 2009 9:02 PM

comment #14

DeeZee says ...

Oh, and the Man On Wire guy's next gig.
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/film/news/e3iec91181b3bb41981f0196d7276add279

Posted by DeeZee at November 8, 2009 9:02 PM

comment #15

DeeZee says ...

James Cameron must have seen an early reel of the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland.
http://www.themoviebox.net/movies/2009/0-9ABC/Avatar/trailer.php

Posted by DeeZee at November 9, 2009 1:22 AM

comment #16

Nick X says ...

The real problem is, his story would only be "possible" if the wardrobe were brand new and no one had never opened it before, which is obviously not the case, since there's a bunch of stuff stored/hanging in it already.

I know I'm taking it too seriously! I know.

Posted by Nick X at November 9, 2009 4:16 AM

comment #17

COCO says ...

''I'm stooping the wife and while hiding in the closet
I had an idea......''
''You're not in Kansas anymore.''

Posted by COCO at November 9, 2009 4:34 AM

comment #18

Momus says ...

I choose to believe Jeffrey Wells was joking. ;) He would have recognized a commercial, would he?

Posted by Momus at November 9, 2009 4:47 AM

comment #19

mat says ...

This reminds me of one of the shorts from that life-affirmingly awful Fox game/reality/garbage show Who Wants To Be A Director (or whatever it was called).

Posted by mat at November 9, 2009 6:14 AM

comment #20