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Ishtar
(May, 1987)
The Seven-Per-Cent Solution (OOP)
(Ross, 1976)
The Devils
(Russell, 1974)
The Pirates of Penzance
(Papp/Leach, 1983)
The Fortune
(Nichols, 1975)
-30-
(Webb, 1959)
Betrayal
(Jones, 1983)
Play It As It Lays
(Perry, 1972)
The Outfit
(Flynn, 1973)
Alex in Wonderland
(Mazursky, 1969)
The Legend of Lylah Clare
(Aldrich, 1968)
In The Cool of the Day
(Stevens, 1963)
That Cold Day in the Park
(Altman, 1969)
Thumb Trippin'
(Masters, 1972)
Midas Run
(Kjellin, 1969)
At Long Last Love
(Bogdanovich, 1973)
Brewster McCloud
(Altman, 1972)
Outcast of the Islands
(Reed, 1951)

Reader Submissions
1930's-1950's
The Moon's Our Home
(Seiter, 1936)
Sh! The Octopus
(McGann, 1937)
The Mating Season
(Leisen, 1951)
Bad for Each Other
(Rapper, 1953)
The Phenix City Story
(Karlson, 1955)
Run of the Arrow
(Fuller, 1956)
House of Secrets
(Green, 1956)
Saint Joan
(Preminger, 1957)
Macabre
(Castle, 1958)
The Fiend Who Walked the West
(G. Douglas, 1958
Five Gates to Hell
(Clavell, 1959)
1960's
Key Witness
(Karlson, 1960)
Summer and Smoke
(Glenville, 1961)
The Chapman Report
(Cukor,1962)
Bachelor Flat
(Tashlin, 1962) [on Hulu]
The L Shaped Room
(Forbes, 1963)
The Chalk Garden
(Neame, 1964)
A Thousand Clowns
(Coe, 1965)
You're a Big Boy Now
(Coppola, 1966)
The Whisperers
(Forbes, 1967)
Dark of the Sun
(Cardiff, 1968)
Skidoo
(Preminger, 1968)
Last Summer
(Perry, 1969)
The Comic
(C. Reiner, 1969)
1970-1974
The Revolutionary
(Williams, 1970)
The Landlord
(Ashby, 1970)
Diary of a Mad Housewife
(Perry, 1970)
Tropic of Cancer
(Strick, 1970)
I Never Sang for My Father
(Cates, 1970)
Sometimes a Great Notion
(Newman, 1971)
Marriage of a Young Stockbroker
(Turman, 1971)
The Music Lovers
(Russell, 1971)
Drive, He Said
(Nicholson, 1971)
The Steagle
(Sylbert, 1971)
The Last Movie
(Hopper, 1971)
Made For Each Other
(Bean, 1971)
The Day the Clown Cried
(Lewis, 1972)
Hickey & Boggs (OOP)
(Culp, 1972)
The Carey Treatment
(Edwards, 1972)
Pete 'n' Tillie
(Ritt, 1972)
Slither
(Zieff, 1973)
Man on a Swing
(Perry, 1974)
Open Season
(Collinson, 1974)
The Tamarind Seed
(Edwards, 1974)
Law and Disorder
(Passer, 1974)
Homebodies
(Yust, 1974)
Stardust
(Apted, 1974)
Celine and Julie Go Boating
(Rivette, 1974)
1975-1979
Rafferty and the Gold Dust Twins
(Richards, 1975
At Long Last Love
(Bogdanovich, 1975)
Hearts of the West
(Zieff, 1975)
Welcome to L.A.
(Rudolph, 1976)
W.C. Fields and Me
(Hiller, 1976)
Citizens Band
(Demme, 1977)
Twilight's Last Gleaming
(Aldrich, 1977)
Looking for Mr. Goodbar
(Brooks, 1977)
Girlfriends
(Weill, 1978)
Movie Movie
(Donen, 1978)
The Medusa Touch
(Gold, 1978)
American Hot Wax
(Mutrux, 1978)
Hot Stuff
(DeLuise, 1979)
Scavenger Hunt
(Schultz , 1979)
Players
(Harvey, 1979)
Rich Kids
(Young, 1979)
Nightwing
(Hiller, 1979)
Screams of a Winter's Night
(Wilson, 1979
When You Comin' Back Red Ryder?
(Katselas, 1979
1980's
Resurrection
(Petrie, 1980)
The Awakening
(Newell, 1980)
Simon
(Brickman, 1980)
God's Angry Man
(Herzog, 1980)
Fast-Walking
(Harris, 1982)
Twice Upon a Time
(Korty & Swenson, 1983)
Trouble in Mind
(Rudolph, 1985)
When the Wind Blows
(Murikami, 1986)
Housekeeping
(Forsyth, 1987)
The Glass Menagerie
(Newman, 1987)
Patty Hearst
(Schrader, 1988)
Drowning by Numbers
(Greenaway, 1988)
Haunted Summer
(Passer, 1988)
The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years
(Spheeris, 1988)
1990's
Old Times
(Curtis, 1991)
Prospero's Books
(Greenaway, 1991)
City of Hope
(Sayles, 1991)
The Baby of Macon
(Greenaway, 1993)
King of the Hill
(Soderbergh, 1993)
Dadetown
(Hexter, 1995)
SubUrbia
(Linklater, 1997)

Upcoming

January 8

Bitch Slap

Waiting for Armageddon

Wonderful World

Youth in Revolt

January 15

January 22

Drool

Extraordinary Measures

The Girl on the Train

Medieval Horror Mulch

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How overwhelming can moviegoer cynicism get, or is it a bottomless pit? Nicholas Cage, Dominic Sena, scary wolves, 14th-century monks and knights, lots of fake fog, Ron Perlman and Ulrich Thomsen, a suspected witch, a monastery, the Black Plague, etc. Pure paycheck, pure bulimia.

McKay's Triumph. (Really.)<< previous | next >>Softpedal

Posted by Jeffrey Wells on November 23, 2009 at 10:48 AM

comment #1

Rich S. says ...

It looks extraordinarily stupid, but plenty of dumb fun.

But if they don't have a Halloween mask that turns children's heads into bugs and worms, I won't have earned the title "Season of the Witch."

Posted by Rich S. at November 23, 2009 11:01 AM

comment #2

Eloi Manning says ...

Hopefully it'll have as many YouTube-friendly Cage moments as The Wicker Man.

At least it's a Relativity Media production, which means it's been approved by Kavanaugh's Excel spreadsheet quality test.

Could Cage look any more out of place in medieval Europe? I hope there's a cameo from Kevin Costner's Robin Hood.

Posted by Eloi Manning at November 23, 2009 11:03 AM

comment #3

THE MovieBob says ...

Eh, looks pretty metal, could be fun. I can think of worse ways to help Cage with his IRS problems.

Posted by THE MovieBob at November 23, 2009 11:37 AM

comment #4

LexG says ...

YEP YEP. Looks AWESOME. MANSON POWER.

I trust and agree with Wells on a lot of things, but he's about the least "metal" dude ever. There is NOTHING more awesome in film than metal cranking over top of hot chicks and hardcore violence. Wells is great about a lot of things, but he rarely goes for that sort of base-level WWE Slayer-listening hardcore appreciation of visceral carnage and awesome stupidity.

Posted by LexG at November 23, 2009 11:50 AM

comment #5

DeafBrownTrashPunk says ...

It's Lionsgate. They make a lot of fun horror movies. It ain't no masterpiece, but it sure looks entertaining as hell.

Relax, Wells, or you're gonna get an ulcer.

Posted by DeafBrownTrashPunk at November 23, 2009 12:05 PM

comment #6

DeeZee says ...

It looks like the director's a fan of Berserk.

Posted by DeeZee at November 23, 2009 12:06 PM

comment #7

RSBrown says ...

Talk about coffee brown. I stopped watching half-way through because I couldn't see a damn thing.

Posted by RSBrown at November 23, 2009 12:17 PM

comment #8

RSBrown says ...

Good for Bragi Schut though. Great guy.

Posted by RSBrown at November 23, 2009 12:29 PM

comment #9

Pynchon8 says ...

For all of Wells' elitist leanings he sure attracts some dumb readers. Not without ample and weak qualifications can you find anything to like about this dreck.

Posted by Pynchon8 at November 23, 2009 1:01 PM

comment #10

BurmaShave says ...

Wells aren't Cena and Cage responsible for one of your favorite guilty pleasure films of all time?

Posted by BurmaShave at November 23, 2009 1:11 PM

comment #11

BurmaShave says ...

Sena, rather. Though I'm sure Nic Cage and John Cena is inevitable.

Posted by BurmaShave at November 23, 2009 1:25 PM

comment #12

Rollic says ...

That trailer looks EXACTLY like the kind of movie that Ricky Gervais' character from The Invention of Lying wanted to make about the Black Plague.

Posted by Rollic at November 23, 2009 2:10 PM

comment #13

115thDreamer says ...

Give Cage a break - he has what, 6M in back taxes to pay off? He's got more like this in the pipeline, I'm sure. To the break of dawnnnnnnn........

Posted by 115thDreamer at November 23, 2009 2:12 PM

comment #14

JohnCope says ...

Sena was a very promising director for a few months in 1993 with the tuly great Kalifornia. Since then it has been all downhill as he's become an ace purveyor of schlock. He could have been Fincher and instead ended up Simon West.

Posted by JohnCope at November 23, 2009 3:04 PM

comment #15

hunterd says ...

Didn't this guy do CON-AIR with Cage? Didn't you love that movie Wells?

Posted by hunterd at November 23, 2009 3:53 PM

comment #16

VictorLazlo says ...

Anyone else find it slightly disturbing that the movie takes the side of people who burned women at the stake as witches? Besides that looks like a good viewing when it gets to HBO.

Posted by VictorLazlo at November 23, 2009 5:30 PM

comment #17

actionman says ...

simon west did con air...very well i might add

sena's best film is the first 10 mins of swordfish. i keed...i keed...kalifornia is twisted and awesome. he's never lived up to the promise that his debut showed.

whiteout?!?!?!?!?!

Posted by actionman at November 23, 2009 6:53 PM

comment #18

Noiresque says ...

" ... scary wolves, 14th-century monks and knights, ... Ron Perlman and Ulrich Thomsen, a suspected witch, a monastery, the Black Plague ..."

Maybe it's just me, but these aspects sound rather fun. I'll definitely rent the DVD.

Posted by Noiresque at November 24, 2009 1:06 AM

comment #19

COCO says ...

What fun lurks there......Eloi like much....meh popcorn anyone??? Cage got tax woes...call it ''Season of the IRS''.....cool beans

Posted by COCO at November 24, 2009 2:04 AM

comment #20

Noiresque says ...

OMG, and Stephen Campbell Moore is in this too? If he is not wearing a hideous, uglifying costume and horror makeup, I may pay money to see this in a actual cinema.

Posted by Noiresque at November 24, 2009 5:52 AM

comment #21

Rich S. says ...

It's funny, we always make fun of period films for using British actors, whose accents are supposed to represent everything from Roman centurions to Nazi stormtroopers. But when you use an actor that doesn't employ a British accent, like Cage or Perlman, it seems especially glaring.

Just part of the shorthand language of cliche cinema, I guess.

Posted by Rich S. at November 24, 2009 6:58 AM