comment #1

BizzarroJeffWells says ...

Monjack = overweight scumbag

Polanski = skinny scumbag

What's the point of this again, Wells?

comment #2

BizzarroJeffWells says ...

"There are reasons to consider that Monjack is some kind of scumbag apart from the fact that he looks like one. The lesson is that if Monjack did look like Kutcher, he'd be a lot better off reputation-wise. People see sloth and they assume the worst."

So, by that rationale, "Philly" Hoffman is a scumbag?

comment #3

Jeffrey Wells says ...

No, of course not. But if nobody knew Philly at all, and he suddenly got mentioned in news reports about something icky or dark or despicable, people would assume he's guilty based on his appearance. Sloth = strong suspicions of weak character and disrepute. Why do I have to spell this stuff out? Why would any semi-aware dispute this? We all know how people think & jump to fast conclusions, etc.

comment #4

BizzarroJeffWells says ...

Well, it sure seems that he family is OK with him. He went to the family funeral, spoke at it and by all accounts meant what he said and except for Hickenlooper, there hasn't been a lot of talk about what a scumbag he is. Seems to not matter. Sad all around.

Maybe she was just a chubby chaser, which is why her previous relationships didn't work out or lead to marriage like this one did.

Bout outta juice on this story, my man.

comment #5

Pynchon8 says ...

Thinning hair is not something you can control unless you can affod good hair plugs like Tom Brady, Leo, or Norton Jr. How does it illustrate character then?

comment #6

Jason Huff says ...

One thing that might make sense here is that people often marry those who have a vaguely similar perceived look. If you think of yourself as heavy, you may be more willing to marry somebody heavy. With all of Murphy's well-documented weight issues, she may have married someone that revealed her own perceptions about herself.

Of course, this is not always true by any means, but it's an interpretation I would think Jeff would appreciate.

comment #7

Jeffrey Wells says ...

Wells to Jason Huff: That's actually a fairly perceptive remark. Good one.

comment #8

J. Ho says ...

man this site is hilarious

comment #9

Edmond O'Bigelow says ...

Unrelated -- yet vaguely "looks the part" related -- family and friends gathered 'round the Plasma to watch "It Might Get Loud" this week, and we all found Wells resemblance to modern-day Jimmy Page startling.

comment #10

lazespud says ...

Moving beyond all of this stoooopid weigh talk, is anyone else as fascinated as I am about regular HE contributor George Hickenlooper's centrality to so many interesting stories we find here on HE?

I can think offhand of the dust up when his film 'Hearts of Darkness" was finally released on DVD and essentially FF Coppola rewrote history so it could seem to have been directed by his wife; and then there was Hick's producer friend who may or may not have been connected to the russian mafia but was definitely murdered, then there was that great series of films he did during the writer's strike, also the whole mess over the cut of factory girl, and finally his connection to Brittany Murphy and her corpulent husband (sorry, I couldn't resist and besides, at 250, I'm pretty corpulent myself).

I think Hickenlooper needs his own HE column.

comment #11

LexG says ...

Having "thinning hair" is more depressing than those who don't have is could ever know. They should have support groups for it... I've suffered severe depression my entire life, but when my hair started to thin, it sent me into a whole other stratosphere. It's like watching one of your limbs rot away. It is doubly depressing when you see some 75-year-old man with a thick head of white yarn on his scalp, Sam Elliot/James Brolin style.

I'm not talking about your common, everyday garden variety "receding hairline." I'm talking THINNING, where you keep the hairline, but you get this diffuse Robert Zemeckis, Robert Loggia, Al Gore, Ted Danson, Mel Gibson, Robert Forster, James Cromwell action where the top of your scalp looks like a crop fire, where you dread standing under lights. From a distance you look like you have the hair of Jeff Bridges or Alec Baldwin, then up close and under lights you look like you survived Chernobyl.

It becomes the defining trait of your existence, because you can't ever relax without worrying someone's fixating on it.

And fuck "shave it off!" I have a shitload of moles and odd bumps in my scalp, making that even worse. Most frustrating thing is, you KNOW somewhere out there SOMEBODY has probably cured hair loss, but it would put the zillion-dollar topical snake-oil industry out of business overnight.

comment #12

corey3rd says ...

If you're hair is going - just let it get gone. Smartest thing I ever did was just shave it all off. The first thing you realize is women love to rub a smooth head. And you don't even need to toss around talk of "The Dome" action. Of course it helps if you have a good head for going bald instead of looking like the guy from The Hills Have Eyes.

Far as this schlub goes, if you're married to a top actress, you should at least feel obligated to buy shirts that don't show off your Man-Muffin Top.

comment #13

Pynchon8 says ...

My point was just that thinning hair is no indicator of personality. Not at all. To suggest it does says more about the beholder than it does a purported sleaze like Monjack.

comment #14

jmevans says ...

What I find more troubling than Monjack is the fact that Murphy's mother lived with the couple, so she was witnessing first hand her daughter ingesting all these different legal drugs. It is incredibly suspicious that they found so many different drugs in the house. I think this girl was a pill popper, but how can the mother just sit back and allow this to happen?

I also think Monjack at the very least is guilty of watching his wife abuse said drugs. Also, this man had to be revived upon landing on a flight from Puerto Rico to LA weeks ago. If I was forced to guess, him and Brit were abusing prescription drugs for quite some time.

So sad Brit settled for this douchebag. She was beautiful and talented. What a shame.

comment #15

circe says ...

If anyone was going to die of a heart attack in the shower, you think it would be Monjack, and not his young, skinny wife. With a gut that size, you're living on borrowed time.

comment #16

Deathtongue_Groupie says ...

Where's that Babel Fish I had laying around here....? Oh, there it is. Lemme just stick that in my ear so I can translate the above....

"Okay, goddammit, I'm not rich or famous, but Christ-on-a-stick I'm better looking than that tub o'lard!"

The pathological fixation on weight is pretty funny in it's dependability.

comment #17

Gordon27 says ...

"If you look like an undisciplined fatass people are going to presume the worst if -- a big "if" -- you hook up with slender young actress."

Or they'll assume you've got a big dick.

comment #18

DarienStyles says ...

The biggest scumbags I have known are of the slender type. But I don't relate one's appearance to their behaviour. Because that would be foolish. I could list examples of thin men, who are criminals, and examples of overweight men, who are or have been successes (ex: Jack Black, Alfred Hitchcock, Orson Welles, Charles Laughton, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Bruce Vilanch,...etc.).
It's one thing to show concern for someone's health, but to demonize anyone with food issues, is unfair. Yes, there is laziness involved. I won't deny it, but it doesn't make it right to scorn someone for his weight.

comment #19

THE MovieBob says ...

On the one hand, I know it's utterly wrong to assume anything as egregious as this before ANY facts are known, especially since I'm not exactly "Ashton Kutcher" myself...

...on the other hand, even seeing this fellow next to Murphy BEFORE she'd died, my immediate first thought was "okay, THIS is a guy who scores 10's by being a good drug connection."

comment #20

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comment #21

dd says ...

Where's that Babel Fish I had laying around here....? Oh, there it is. Lemme just stick that in my ear so I can translate the above....

"Okay, goddammit, I'm not rich or famous, but Christ-on-a-stick I'm better looking than that tub o'lard!"

The pathological fixation on weight is pretty funny in it's dependability.

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