Final Nail in Coffin

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A 5.7 N.Y. Times story by Patrick McGeehan reports that Verizon, the dominant local phone company in New York State, "asked regulators on Friday to allow it to end the annual delivery of millions of White Pages to all of its customers in New York. The company estimates that it would save nearly 5,000 tons of paper by ending the automatic distribution of the books.

Which means that those "those inches-thick tomes of fine-print telephone listings that may be most useful as doorstops, could stop landing with a thud on doorsteps across New York later this year," McGeehan reports.

I haven't skimmed through a paper phone book in well over a decade, but now they're really history. McGeehan's story signifies that the above joke in Woody Allen's What's Up Tiger Lily? (1966) -- one of the funniest lines I'd heard when I first saw Allen's film on the tube in the early '70s -- is about to become extinct. It will no longer have even a fragmentary sense of relevancy or meaning in the physical world. It'll be like a joke about hoop skirts or Model Ts or straight razors or bathtub gin.

"Only about one of every nine households uses the hard-copy listings anymore, according to Verizon, which cited a 2008 Gallup survey. Most have switched to looking up numbers online or calling directory assistance. The phone book for many people, it seems, has gone from indispensable tool to unavoidable nuisance."

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on May 8, 2010 at 3:59 AM

comment #1

Luke Y. Thompson says ...

Also about to become extinct: the cliche that so-and-so is such a good actor, one would pay to see them read the phone book.

Posted by Luke Y. Thompson at May 8, 2010 5:36 AM

comment #2

Noah Cross says ...

And Steve Martin's cry, "The new phone books here!....I'm somebody!" will be meaningless to future generations.

Posted by Noah Cross at May 8, 2010 6:24 AM

comment #3

larry braverman says ...

Always loved Navin's address: 253 1/8 Elm St.

Posted by larry braverman at May 8, 2010 8:51 AM

comment #4

Deathtongue_Groupie says ...

The DTG household is a rarity - one of the few among our circle that still has a landline and hence is actually listed in the white pages. White pages became useless about 5 years ago when cell phones became the primary number for people. And they were already endangered even without cells as more and more folks opted for unlisted numbers.

The one I'll lament will be if yellow pages finally bite the dust - I hate trying to find certain businesses online. For many, the only advertising they did year in and out was to pay $60 for their phone book ad.

Posted by Deathtongue_Groupie at May 8, 2010 10:17 AM

comment #5

DiscoNap says ...

Always be a valuable tool for interrogating suspects without leaving visible bruises. Just ask Vic Mackey, or Pearl.

Posted by DiscoNap at May 8, 2010 2:56 PM

comment #6

dinovelvet says ...

What will strong men rip in half to prove their might from now on? An ipad?

Posted by dinovelvet at May 8, 2010 3:43 PM

comment #7

solus says ...

how will future generations of poor toddlers sit at the table and reach their Cap'n Crunch?

Posted by solus at May 8, 2010 6:22 PM

comment #8

sozo life25 says ...

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Posted by sozo life25 at May 8, 2010 9:23 PM

comment #9

neways says ...

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Posted by neways at May 9, 2010 1:57 AM

comment #10

Jason Michelitch says ...

Just wanted to point out that while it's sad to see the passing of phone book related jokes, there's actually a way more fucked up side to this issue.

One out of 9 households seems like still a large number of people, especially for New York City, and I'd lay money that the majority of them consist of poor or elderly who face either an economic or technical-aptitude barrier to using the internet to look up phone numbers. And Directory Assistance costs money.

Verizon has already started discontinuing phone book delivery for anyone who asks not to get one -- if they make the default NOT getting one and then make people jump through hoops on the phone or go to the Verizon website in order to get the book delivered again, a lot of people are going to be unfairly disenfranchised from basic telecommunications.

Posted by Jason Michelitch at May 9, 2010 7:54 AM

comment #11

Manitoba says ...

Where I live they charge you for directory assistance now. After reading this depressing news,I found the new phone books at my door--one white pages, a bigger yellow pages and a third smaller compact Yellow Pages Light Edition. All are marked "Fully recyclable." I wonder what the Verizon move in New York means for the future? Having read about the troubles Jeff has had trying to find good internet connections during his travels and now his need for a more solid reliable Mac backup at Cannes, I hope phone books are not suddenly part of the past.Or all we now expected to carry communications devices with us everywhere no matter the expense?

Posted by Manitoba at May 9, 2010 8:28 AM

comment #12

Emiliejuan says ...

Always be a valuable tool for interrogating suspects without leaving visible bruises.

Posted by Emiliejuan at May 10, 2010 12:11 AM

comment #13

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