Fish Lips

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I suffered last night on a Continental red-eye from LAX to Newark. 275-minute flight, 90 minutes to two hours of sleep, if that. Bulkhead seating, no legroom to speak of, wedged between two women...awful. On top of which they played The Last Song, a Miley Cyrus stinker (based on a Nicholas Sparks book) that opened last March to a 17% Rotten Tomatoes rating. I was at least able to decide on my own whether or not Cyrus has a "trout pout." She does indeed.

Miley Cyrus in Disney's lamentable The Last Song.

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on July 26, 2010 at 6:53 AM

comment #1

a_loco says ...

And for something completely different: Ron Livingstone is awesome:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu0qtEwb9gE&feature=player_embedded

Posted by a_loco at July 26, 2010 7:22 AM

comment #2

Helms Deep says ...

Well, now that we've got that figured out.

Posted by Helms Deep at July 26, 2010 7:36 AM

comment #3

Rich S. says ...

Any thoughts on Justin Bieber's new hairstyle? What about Snooki and The Situation's Miami wardrobe?

Posted by Rich S. at July 26, 2010 9:27 AM

comment #4

LexG says ...

Yum. HUUUUUGE fan, love Miley, still sad I missed Last Song (should've taken up what's-his-name here's offer to see it free at his theater when it was on its way out), will BUY IT SIGHT UNSEEN on DVD because she is CHARMING, and the theme song puts me in a great mood and gets me through the night thinking of all my untapped potential and how AWESOME it would be if I moved to a North Carolina Nick Sparks beach town and met some COOL, sensitive 17, 18 year old girl in LITTLE OUTFITS but who is DEMURE and semi-virginal and she just wanted to go eat crawfish and hang out under a pier lying on my shoulder while we held hands and then there'd be a montage of fishing boats and she'd have some weird recluse relative who hadn't come out of his/her shell since the death of their spouse, and I'd sit around in my FISHING CAP consoling them and my utter likability would bring them out of their shell and MILEY POWER would see how COOL I am.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wxOVn99FTE&feature=avmsc2

I may be 37 on the outside, but INSIDE I'm about 16 TOPS and I can never and will never accept that I'm some old-ass whose life has already passed him by... Inside I'm still waiting to go to the PROM and go to COLLEGE PARTIES where it's some Dionysean orgy but I mostly date the DEMURE girls who wear flip flops and bite on their PENCILS and wear clunky glasses but only in SOME scenes, but they're all sunny and fair-skinned and usually blonde but Miley Hair would be cool too and I could tug on her ear lobe or something.

I should apply to be a college professor at an all-girls college, hopefully only tutoring the FRESHMAN class.

Posted by LexG at July 26, 2010 10:18 AM

comment #5

Eloi Wrath says ...

It's always funny to read YouTube comments underneath Cyrus videos. Girls HATE her now she's dared to bare a bit of flesh. Some of the venom that comes from these teenage former fans is incredible. "Slut," "whore," etc.

Posted by Eloi Wrath at July 26, 2010 10:46 AM

comment #6

LexG says ...

Speaking of DEEEEE-lightful, look how CHARMING, and the first 40 seconds of this is my favorite thing EVER:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jb2stN7kH28&feature=avmsc2

They should make a Nicholas Sparks movie with ME and Swifty, Why can't ALL women be 17-23 and look all wispy and waifish and blonde and coltish and DEMURE and CUUUUUUTE?

Posted by LexG at July 26, 2010 10:49 AM

comment #7

Eloi Wrath says ...

Lex, un-retire. It's been slow without you.

What was the subject of the Wells-LexG summit in LA lately? Potential regular column?

Posted by Eloi Wrath at July 26, 2010 10:55 AM

comment #8

Aladdin Sane says ...

Trout pout. Love it. Well the saying. Not her.

Posted by Aladdin Sane at July 26, 2010 11:51 AM

comment #9

LexG says ...

MILEY POWER

Posted by LexG at July 26, 2010 11:58 AM

comment #10

DiscoNap says ...

I will return with further comment after November 23rd.

Posted by DiscoNap at July 26, 2010 12:38 PM

comment #11

pchu says ...

LexG, what's with the blonde thing? I thought you prefer brunette like Kristen Stewart.

As for Miley, she is not demure, if you seen her in the VMA up here in Toronto.

Posted by pchu at July 26, 2010 1:07 PM

comment #12

party animals says ...

eloi celebrating a wannabe pedophile. awesome

Posted by party animals at July 26, 2010 1:13 PM

comment #13

Jonathan Spuij says ...

The venom Eloi Wrath refers to is probably spilled by puritanical parents, and not the kids.

Posted by Jonathan Spuij at July 26, 2010 1:33 PM

comment #14

Deathtongue_Groupie says ...

If you believe at all in karma, then perhaps the movie godz were sending a very clear message on Continental Flight 503 last night.

@Lex - all Pixar is verboten yet a film widely known to be awful is a must-have DVD purchase? I guess just as alcoholics think everyone else is also a drunk, porn workers must view everything through a "can I wank to it?" prism.

Posted by Deathtongue_Groupie at July 26, 2010 1:39 PM

comment #15

Eloi Wrath says ...

party animals, aka animal house: just piss off, would you?

Posted by Eloi Wrath at July 26, 2010 1:52 PM

comment #16

CitizenKanedForPostingThoughts says ...

I don't really judge or disparage Lex's taste in wom...er, females at all, but that was a pretty crisp zinger DtG just sent his way.

I LoL'd for real.

Posted by CitizenKanedForPostingThoughts at July 26, 2010 2:20 PM

comment #17

sugardingles says ...

The very image here is hilarious....
Jeff Wells trapped on an airplane, watching a Miley Cyrus movie. Ha!

Posted by sugardingles at July 26, 2010 3:27 PM

comment #18

The Hoyk says ...

Question is, what's worse? A trout pout, or an ape drape?

Posted by The Hoyk at July 26, 2010 6:00 PM

comment #19

DeeZee says ...

http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/stopthepresses/239386/tiffany-and-debbie-gibson-talk-about-maturing-miley/

Posted by DeeZee at July 26, 2010 6:30 PM

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comment #23

RosettaStone01 says ...

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Posted by RosettaStone01 at July 26, 2010 7:53 PM

comment #24

LexG says ...

Hmm... This thread didn't catch on that well, so maybe it's too late to also offer up that I thought "trout pout" only meant when a chick has obvious collagen to get her duck lips... Pretty sure Miley's are naturally that way, so while the term might apply from the visual standby, unlikely a 17 year old girl has had work done to voluntarily make them like that, which is a key requirement for something being classified as "trout pout."

Posted by LexG at July 26, 2010 11:24 PM

comment #25

chanelbags says ...

Well, now that we've got that figured out. Having a try ...

Posted by chanelbags at July 26, 2010 11:41 PM

comment #26

Burbanked says ...

"unlikely a 17 year old girl has had work done to voluntarily make them like that"

Unlikely? You're familiar with Hollywood, right?

Posted by Burbanked at July 27, 2010 9:29 AM

comment #27

flag poles says ...

Why are some people on the news as much as they are; isn't TV all about giving "that" to people which they want?

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