Stodgy Neo-Conservatives

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The basic architectural layout of Washington was modelled on Paris with streets that acted as spokes to a wheel. It feels vaguely Parisian here and there, but let's cut that baby off at the knees straight away. D.C. is Paris without the soul or the cool cafes. It's a government town -- regimented, regulated. Starbucks cafes close at 7 pm here despite their Manhattan cousins shuttering at 9 pm or later. Banks don't seem to open on Saturday. To me D.C. women seem somewhat waspier and more conservative-looking than NYC women. There's very little in the way of Manhattan "edge" here. If I had to live in D.C., I would fail. I would be forced to drive cab.

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on October 30, 2010 at 6:04 PM

comment #1

ModernLifeIsRubbish says ...

Damn, I have a great deal of respect for Jeff, but as a Maryland who has spent a lot of (very fun) days and nights in D.C., I hope he leaves before he can rip the city, its vibe, and its people anymore. lol

Maybe he should've visited the 9:30 Club. He and the big dude with the ear piercings would've been instant friends!

Posted by ModernLifeIsRubbish at October 30, 2010 10:12 PM

comment #2

joe banks says ...

what edge in Manhattan? Guiliani, 9/11, and the Wall Street boom sucked all the edge out of Manhattan over a decade ago. it's all very safe and clean and Disneyfied, just like they want it to be for the tourists. who can go see one of those "edgy" Broadway shows, like Jersey Boys. or check out the avant garde displays at MOMA and Guggenhem. boy, that Mark Rothko sure is pushing the boundaries of art even fifty years later.

Posted by joe banks at October 30, 2010 10:22 PM

comment #3

Jeffrey Wells says ...

Wells to Joe Banks: Point taken.

Posted by Jeffrey Wells at October 31, 2010 12:13 AM

comment #4

hickoryduck says ...

As someone who recently moved to DC from Manhattan for grad school and has had some amazing times here, I'll just say thank god pretentious windbags like you find it less than appealing.

Posted by hickoryduck at October 31, 2010 6:24 AM

comment #5

baboo says ...

Waspy? Conservative? If you haven't noticed there is a very large black population in the city. As well as countless ethnic groups. How can you judge D.C. from your perch on the Mall? That is like thinking everyone at Rockefeller Center or FAO Schwartz is a typical New Yorker.

Posted by baboo at October 31, 2010 7:13 AM

comment #6

crazynine says ...

Nothing stays open on or just off the Mall. Like nothing stays open on or off of Wall Street.

Starbucks stays open late in any half-residential neighborhood of D.C. And I don't know of any commercial banks that are closed on Saturdays, I've certainly never had trouble finding one. And our hot women are as hot as any hot women in the country, they just wear more powersuits and eat more than cigarettes for breakfast.

I love NYC, adore it even, but if all I'm doing is looking for the flaws, Manhattan and the boroughs have more than I can count.

You don't have to like my town, Jeff. It's just that with your grouchy attitude and impossible standards, you just shouldn't visit anymore.

I mean, for fuck's sake... when Wells insists on lumping the nation's capital into his twisted fever-dream of what "flyover country" is, then we Mensheviks know we'll never be good enough to be a Bolshevik.

Posted by crazynine at October 31, 2010 7:37 AM

comment #7

lbeale says ...

I went to school in DC, and lived there as an adult. Great town to go to school in. Boring as an adult. Only two conversational topics: politics, and the Redskins. Worst dressed city in North America. And every high school class president went to law school, then moved to DC. Just awful.

Posted by lbeale at October 31, 2010 9:21 AM

comment #8

baboo says ...

I will give you that, lbeale. Too many freaking lawyers, all with "me first" attitudes. But boring is a state of mind, not so much place.

Posted by baboo at October 31, 2010 9:43 AM

comment #9

dangovich says ...

Planned capitals like D.C. tend to be underwhelming. See Brasilia, Canberra, etc. Can't think of one planned capital that is a great city. Maybe Saint Petersburg?

Posted by dangovich at October 31, 2010 11:34 AM

comment #10

mizerock says ...

Pretty much every city in the world will seem disappointing compared to DC. It's got it's issues, mostly based on the fact that people are really hard-working and in a hurry all the time. It's annoying to get jostled all the time and to see so many people too serious / annoyed to be polite, but I'll take that "problem" over the opposite (depressed hopeless community saddled with massive unemployment, and nowhere to go, so why rush?).

Posted by mizerock at November 2, 2010 7:21 AM

comment #11