Best Action Thriller of 2012

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Why was I, a non-fan of sadistic kick-ass actioners in the Jason Statham-Steven Seagal mode and a rabid hater of most Asian martial-arts flicks, so delighted with Steven Soderbergh's Haywire (Relativity, 1.20.12), and the fight sequences in particular? Answer: because they're 100% believable, and because Gina Carano, an MMA champ, is the first completely credible female kick-butt star, ever.

Thirty seconds into her first duke-out and there isn't the slightest doubt that Carano can whip any guy out there, no matter how big or snarly. If she could time-travel back to '62 she could probably whip Sean Connery. Seriously. And she can act well enough. And she's attractive.

There's something almost stunning about the straight-up realism in Haywire's fight scenes. Or nostalgic, I should say. For as I mentioned last night, and as Soderbergh himself noted during last night's post-screening q & a, the fight-scene realism is a kind of tribute to the train-compartment battle between Sean Connery and Robert Shaw in From Russia With Love ('63).

With their phony, fetishy, high-flying action-ballet bullshit, most Asian martial-arts films (efforts like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon excepted) get it so completely wrong, for whatever reason not understanding or unable to deliver Haywire's simple aesthetic.

Soderbergh's shooting and editing of the Haywire fight scenes is exquisite. Haywire is faster and more furious than Drive, but Soderbergh is clearly coming from the same "tone it down, think it through and make it real" school of action cinema. At no time do Haywire's action scenes give you that awful feeling of being artificially adrenalized and jacked-up for the sake of coherence-defying Michael Bay-o sensation.

(l. to r.) Haywire director Steven Soderbergh, costars Ewan McGregor, Michael Fassbender, Gina Carano during last night's post-screening discussion at the Chinese.

In a late August piece called Chaos Cinema, critic Mathias Stork lamented how modern action films "have become faster, volatile, over-stuffed, hyperactive...bipolar and promiscuous camera movement...a never-ending crescendo with no spacial clarity." It is soothing to report that Haywire is pretty much the antithesis of this.

If you delight in chaos cinema (probably a fair description of the tastes of most filmgoers out there) then you might feel that Haywire doesn't quite get it. But if you do feel this way, and if you tell your friends that it's not as hot-shit as it ought to be, then you need to face the fact that you're an idiot -- that you have the moviegoing mentality (if not the physical proportions) of an Hispanic Party Elephant.

Haywire is a little hard to follow at first, but I presume that screenwriter Lem Dobbs wanted it that way. All I know is that I can't wait to hear Dobbs and Soderbergh get into another commentary-track dispute (anything will do) when the Haywire Bluray comes out.

Carano's Mallory Kane is an ex-Marine and independent contractor who's on the run from several men who have some interest in or relation to an operation in Barcelona involving a Chinese defector or protestor of some kind. Mallory naturally has to elude or otherwise survive all the attacks upon her, or, as Soderbergh put it last night, she "beats her way through the cast."

The able-bodied fellows who get the piss and the tar whipped out of them include Michael Fassbender, Channing Tatum, Ewan McGregor and Antonio Banderas.

Gina Carano.

Michael Angarano, Bill Paxton and Michael Douglas also costar.

I don't know that I buy the "Gina Carano is the new Pam Grier" line that some critics and columnists have used. I didn't really buy Pam Grier as a serious toughie in her day; I believed that she played a serous toughie with great style.

There's a great car-chase gag that happens at the midway point, involving an unfortunate non-human. That's all I'm going to say.

I saw Hollywood Reporter columnist Scott Feinberg before last night's earlier screening of My Week With Marilyn (which I'll write about tomorrow or the next day, especially focusing on Michelle Williams' bulls-eye performance as Marilyn Monroe). I asked if he'd be seeing Haywire at 9:30 pm, and he said, "Well, it's not an Oscar film and that's my beat so no, not tonight. I'll see it eventually but..." What a shame. For serious Oscar-beaters, the simple pleasure of buying a small popcorn and a drink and watching a thrilling, well-made film and going "whoo-whoo!" is on hold until after Oscar telecast, it seems. Well, not this horse.

I get into arguments with Sasha Stone about this. "Just saw a good one, it's really great and you've gotta see it," I'll say to her. And she'll say, "Yeah, okay, someday...but it doesn't have much of a shot at getting nominated in any of the major categories and we're right in the middle of Oscar season and this is what I do for a living so..." God!

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on November 7, 2011 at 1:23 PM

comment #1

Gabe@ThePlaylist says ...

Oh, Jesus, there is so much questionable in this post.

Posted by Gabe@ThePlaylist at November 7, 2011 4:42 PM

comment #2

Ray DeRousse says ...

I just cannot help but wonder: had Soderbergh directed NORBIT or some shit, would Wells give it a pass?

"I'm not usually a fan of slapstick drag comedy involving over-the-hill comedians in fat suits, but this move nearly made me guffaw. Soderbergh's editing perfectly frames every fart joke and every reaction shot. I tittered audibly for the first time in my life."

Posted by Ray DeRousse at November 7, 2011 4:44 PM

comment #3

Jeffrey Wells says ...

Wells to Gabe The Playlist: What's questionable, Gabe? The fact that 94% to 95% of Asian martial-arts films are torture to sit through? if there is one fact that can be relied upon, it is that one. For persons like myself, I mean.

Posted by Jeffrey Wells at November 7, 2011 5:06 PM

comment #4

Mr. F. says ...

Apparently Wells' love of Soderbergh has trumped his hatred of orange one-sheets.

Posted by Mr. F. at November 7, 2011 5:08 PM

comment #5

Sams says ...

Here's Alex Billington's tweet:

firstshowing Alex Billington
Haywire was meh, kind of dry, slow-moving, but if you like Soderbergh's filmmaking you'll dig it. Otherwise, you'll probably hate it.

And after being terribly disappointed and incredibly bored with Contagion, I 'll take Alex's word for it,

Posted by Sams at November 7, 2011 5:19 PM

comment #6

Ray DeRousse says ...

@ Sams - Not nearly enough CG in it for Billington.

Posted by Ray DeRousse at November 7, 2011 5:24 PM

comment #7

Gabe@ThePlaylist says ...

@Sam
Alex Billington is a bottom-feeding moron.

"With their phony, fetishy, high-flying action-ballet bullshit, most Asian martial-arts films (efforts like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon excepted) get it so completely wrong, for whatever reason not understanding or unable to deliver Haywire's simple aesthetic.."

Anybody who is using "Crouching Tiger" as an example of Asian cinema clearly isn't familiar with it. That's like saying I KNOW BURGERS, I JUST GOT BACK FROM A DENNY'S.

Jeff, this is your BLIND SPOT. You know NOTHING OF IT. I mean, when is the last time you discussed ANY Asian movies on this website? You don't watch them. So where does this 94% to 95% thing come from? You don't WATCH 94% to 95% of Asian films, never mind modern day actioners.

Of course, you're probably reductively thinking of the Shaw Brothers or John Woo or something. You know Asia is made up of more than a few regions, right? Billions of people? Thousands of movies? Many of them Asian? It's a bullshit comparison. It's like if I had said "This is like a Sam Fuller film" if I had NEVER SEEN A SAM FULLER FILM.

It's you talking out of your ass, Jeff. If not, do a post discussing the better Asian films of ANY genre you've seen in the last decade. Any of them. Korea. Japan. Anything. If you want to say "Haywire trumps most Asian action pictures of recent years" that's fine. But, you know, BACK IT UP. Which Asian features? Name one. I'd prefer ten, please.

Wells to Gabe The Playlist: I have put a lot of time and effort into expunging the memory of all Asian martial-arts and military adventure films from my memory. It isn't a blind spot -- it's an inability to tolerate the genre. If I never, ever see another Asian martial-arts action film for the rest of my life, it'll be too soon. The last one I suffered through was that awful Nic Cage thing by the Pang brothers.

Posted by Gabe@ThePlaylist at November 7, 2011 5:26 PM

comment #8

Rashad says ...

I'm not trumpeter of Asian cinema or quick edits, but the knife fight from The Man From Nowhere was badass

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jb4IOQWLgp0&feature=related

Posted by Rashad at November 7, 2011 5:27 PM

comment #9

Ray DeRousse says ...

I'm not really a fan of Asian martial arts films. I totally get where Jeff is coming from on this. However, I must admit that I really love IRON MONKEY quite a bit.

Posted by Ray DeRousse at November 7, 2011 5:31 PM

comment #10

CinemaPhreak says ...

"I get into arguments with Sasha Stone about this. "Just saw a good one, it's really great and you've gotta see it," I'll say to her. And she'll say, "Yeah, okay, someday...but it doesn't have much of a shot at getting nominated in any of the major categories and we're right in the middle of Oscar season and this is what I do for a living so..." God!

Remember that friend who would always give you grief because you were trying to study and do homework when they wanted to go fuck around? "Aw, c'mon man, do that shit on the bus before class like I do." The one who ended up at some community college or none at all?

Tell me that wasn't Jeff.

Posted by CinemaPhreak at November 7, 2011 6:26 PM

comment #11

CinemaPhreak says ...

I'm probably going to buy Carano as "the first completely credible female kick-butt star, ever" right up to the point where she goes up against a bigger guy with comparable or identical skills and wins without any weapons or tricks. At 5'8, 145lbs most of her opponents will be bigger.

Even UFC bouts are divided by weight class. When you face an opponent who fights like you do, you are not going to be using his size against him. He is going to be using it to beat the shit out of you.

Posted by CinemaPhreak at November 7, 2011 6:43 PM

comment #12

gFresh says ...

What Gabe said.

I know Jeff loved ZODIAC but in my opinion the Koreans made a better version of a similar story in MEMORIES OF MURDER.

(I know this isn't an action movie, just wanted to bring it up).

'Asians' make some great movies. Just like the 'Whites'.

Posted by gFresh at November 7, 2011 6:44 PM

comment #13

corey3rd says ...

How can you completely ignore the work of Cynthia Rothrock?

Posted by corey3rd at November 7, 2011 7:19 PM

comment #14

actionman says ...

Why is everyone so down on Soderbergh? the guy makes one MASTERPIECE after another, and yeah, Contagion was UTTERLY BRILLIANT. The Informant! is one of the funniest film of the last 20 years, and what he did with Bubble and The Girlfriend Experience was nothing short of remarkable. He's one of the most interesting, invaluable filmmakers of his generation, and it's a fucking CRIME we're gonna lose him to his painting obsession. But that's cool, dude deserves to do what he wants to do. The Limey, King of the Hill, Traffic, Oceans 12 -- the list goes ON AND ON. He's one of the best.

Posted by actionman at November 7, 2011 7:48 PM

comment #15

Rashad says ...

He's not retiring anymore.

Posted by Rashad at November 7, 2011 7:54 PM

comment #16

air agnes says ...

No just no. Haywire is not very good. It's even worse than the ambient mood of low expectation would suggest. The story is cliched yet incomprehensible. The characters...there are no characters, more like a grab bag of day players. Stars phone it in - as in literally in tight shots on cell phones. And no, Carano can't act. Did you think she could?

The central conceit - that cage fighter stunts are more compelling than actress/stuntwoman stunts - is not as true as you might think, certainly not enough to justify the emptiness of the movie as a whole. This may be the most interesting thing about Haywire.

Posted by air agnes at November 7, 2011 8:00 PM

comment #17

Jeffrey Wells says ...

Wells to HE readership: Please don't listen to the the views of air agnes. It takes all sorts to make a world, but his/her opinion [posted above] is nothing short of breathtaking.

Posted by Jeffrey Wells at November 7, 2011 8:35 PM

comment #18

Bob Violence says ...

Jeff's reference points for Asian action cinema = Crouching Tiger and the Bangkok Dangerous remake

this is too good

Posted by Bob Violence at November 8, 2011 12:48 AM

comment #19

Bob Violence says ...

How can you completely ignore the work of Cynthia Rothrock?

Righting Wrongs is seriously one of the best action movies of the '80s, Yes, Madam has some pretty great stuff too

Posted by Bob Violence at November 8, 2011 12:50 AM

comment #20

MechanicalShark says ...

I don't know why people even bother arguing with Wells about his crazy opinions. Wells will be Wells.

Posted by MechanicalShark at November 8, 2011 1:01 AM

comment #21

Sams says ...

jenyamato jen yamato
I see Gina Carano as more a Cynthia Rothrock type than an Jolie/Seagal hybrid... my report from Haywire at @AFIFEST: t11.me/1D8-RV

Posted by Sams at November 8, 2011 3:46 AM

comment #22

Glenn Kenny says ...

Yeah, "The last one I suffered through was that awful Nic Cage thing by the Pang brothers" for the win of all time. If I didn't know better I'd think Wells was actually BAITING you guys.

Hey Jeff, next time you're in town, come on by the crib, we'll watch "House of 72 Tenants" together.

Posted by Glenn Kenny at November 8, 2011 5:43 AM

comment #23

Jeffrey Wells says ...

Call me a dilletante or a know-nothing all you want, but there is nothing in the movie world that has produced this kind of reaction in me...nothing that has made me feel more serenely confident and unshakable. My determination to never watch another Asian martial-arts film in my life is absolute.

Posted by Jeffrey Wells at November 8, 2011 6:16 AM

comment #24

Gabe@ThePlaylist says ...

Oh, quit being disingenuous. You get the cold sweats when ANYTHING Asia comes up, never mind martial arts.

Just admit you have an ignorant bias against a HUGE PERCENTAGE of global cinema.

Posted by Gabe@ThePlaylist at November 8, 2011 7:57 AM

comment #25

Anthony Thorne says ...

Does Jeff's within-his-rights blanket hatred of Asian martial arts cinema include stuff like Zhang Yimou's HERO, which features a pretty splendid fight between Jet Lee and Donny Yen amidst all the other stuff that won it an Oscar in the US and a shitload of other awards overseas? Not that I'm especially curious to hear Jeff piss on Asian cinema in additional detail. Defining 'Asian martial arts cinema' by that Pang brothers flick is reasonably close to defining all American comedies by the collected output of the Wayans brothers. Don't mean to get into it as a list of great Asian movies (and now that I think of it I'd put Kim Je-Woon's magisterial BITTERSWEET LIFE down as a 'martial arts' flick as well as the lead in that kicks a couple of guys at one point) wouldn't do much to dissuade JW. Aaaaaanyway...

Looking forward to HAYWIRE, not sure why it took so long to get a release and a commentary track as indicated by Jeff (+ maybe a second with Soderbergh and Carano) would be welcome.

Posted by Anthony Thorne at November 8, 2011 11:33 AM

comment #26

Bob Violence says ...

and now that I think of it I'd put Kim Je-Woon's magisterial BITTERSWEET LIFE down as a 'martial arts' flick as well as the lead in that kicks a couple of guys at one point

not too long ago Jeff lumped Oldboy with the category of "high-flying, action-obsessed Asian cinema," so yes, he probably would

Posted by Bob Violence at November 9, 2011 4:35 AM

comment #27