comment #1

LexG says ...

Great, time to hear every blogger and movie critic on Twitter name-dropping and bragging on their shit again... it's only been four days since Sundance. I was already starting to jones for more Sneider Tapley McWeeny Rocchi Poland Faraci "I GOT A PLANE TO CATCH, AUSTIN WHOOO HOOO!" tweets...

Don't you guys ever just wanna stay home? Didn't you work your ass off to move to Los Angeles, the greatest city in the world, where the actual stars and studios are? So why do these guys (including Wells) fly off to some shithole like Austin or Utah every single weekend? CHRIST, if I did what you guys did, I'D NEVER EVER leave the house except for screenings, let alone get on a PLANE to fly to some film festival where I'd have to see jerkoffs like Gilchrist and his husband Yamato or listen to Rocchi gaying up his karaoke rendition of "Someone Like You" while Faraci stuffs his beard with barbecue.

It sounds like ABSOLUTE HELL, plus don't you have to SIT NEXT TO OTHER JOURNALISTS at all these packed screenings? Joe Leydon actively boasts about how he TAKES NOTES during the movies, and the split second ANY of you assholes took out a goddamn notepad and started doing chicken scratching while I'm watching 21 Jump Street, you're getting a Skechers upside the fucking head.

But mostly it's just that BRAGGING THING that bothers me-- I like most of those guys too, but STAY HOOOOOOME. Jesus, who wants to go on a PLANE? Once every four or five years I fly home to visit my folks for a week, and the act of flying for five hours is worse than a year in Guantanamo to me...

Then I gotta read everybody NAME DROPPING and BRAGGING ABOUT their chats with directors and stars who DON'T LIKE YOU, DON'T REMEMBER YOU, ARE BETTER THAN YOU, and DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND. I would be EMBARRASSED to approach some real actor or artists to ask them QUESTIONS. Unless you're a fellow artist, NO MOVIE BLOGGER OR CRITIC has ANY BUSINESS WHATSOEVER speaking to a famous person, you are UNWORTHY and absolutely NOBODY can do it in a real pally way and not like a sycophant. It's depressing, reading these guys BOAST about who they're meeting is like reading De Niro from THE FAN thinking Bobby Rayburn is his friend.

If you were a real actor, would you wanna talk to James Rocchi? I'd shoot myself in the head if I had to speak to Devin Faraci in any form, let alone SIT NEAR HIM IN A MOVIE THEATER.

Wouldn't you guys rather see movies in a mostly empty 11am matinee where you have whole rows to yourself?

comment #2

Barnes78 says ...

And the award for agent of the year (hell, the past three years) goes to.....the agent of Channing Tatum.

comment #3

LexG says ...

Also WHY do they call it SXSW instead of SBSW? It's South BY Southwest, where the fuck is the X coming from? Lou Thompson says it's a multiplication sign, but that's bullshit because it means SOUTH BY WAY OF Southwest, not SOUTH TIMES SOUTHWEST, plus everyone would render it as SxSW, nor SXSW.

It should be referred to as SBSW. Or as I refer to it, that film festival that LACEY FROM THE REAL WORLD AUSTIN invented.

comment #4

The Thing says ...

It's about "I saw this first" factor. They want to be able to talk about films before 99.999999999% of the population does. Yeah, seeing a film at a n 11am matinee is awesome, but you're late to the party.

These people need to write articles to get traffic to get paid. If you want to write an interesting article, you need to get there early. Same thing with the interviews; the actors want to get their name and film out there to get their reputation up, and journalists need to put out new information.

It may suck, but it's the job.

comment #5

LexG says ...

But I don't even know how critics even REMOTELY ENJOY the movies they review-- sounds to me that they're always in these frantic PACKED SCREENING ROOMS with Leydon taking notes and Jeff kicking everyone's chair grumbling and harrumphing, Sasha getting thrown out for yelling at PR people, the lights left halfway on and the critics roped off in the BACK like 80 miles from the screen until it's like watching it on a 13-inch television... I know this is your JOB, but how can you even STAND sitting in a packed theater with ALAMO DUMBASSES watching 21 JUMP STREET? I'd have a panic attack sitting amidst that many people and probably storm out of the screening.

I sure as shit wouldn't want to be watching a movie in a packed room with other people I kind of KNOW and might not like... Like if Wells is in the same screening as Poland, aren't they thinking of EACH OTHER the whole time and not the movie??? If I run into some guy from work at the Arclight and he's there with his wife watching THE GREY six rows behind me, I'm not thinking of the movie anymore, I'm thinking of how I'm gonna duck that guy after the show or if I should go talk to him after... Usually I like being one of only a handful of people in a theater--

Honestly, in my mind, Jeff, Drew, Devin, whoever, haven't HONESTLY seen a movie in decades-- you have to go to a near-empty matinee at an off-brand time and theater then sit way the fuck up front with NOBODY near you to even MILDLY enjoy the experience. You can't enjoy a movie AT ALL with a crowd. Not even a comedy. Hell is sitting near other people. Sitting near Jeff would probably be worse than hell, if he's laying on the ground snoring with his Monster drink.

comment #6

Barnes78 says ...

Lex, my (not) favorite, LA filmgoing experiences all involve a modest, yet well intentioned indie film house where you're surrounded by nothing but gray hairs.

I once had the cell phone of a woman sitting next to me ring fifteen minutes into the movie. She digs and digs through her purse, finally locating the phone after several rings. She holds the phone and waits. And waits. And then...Oh! There it is! Voicemail! She digs through her purse once more, pulling out a note pad and pen. She then opens her phone and proceeds to, loudly, check the voicemail she just received!

Whether you're a critic or not, the only time to enjoy the experience is during a matinee, three weeks into the run.

comment #7

berg says ...

Leydon doesn't take that many notes, mainly he checks his watch at the end of the credit roll so he can note the running time ... Wells, I really enjoyed your video capture of Conan and Foster at last year's SXSW .... don't bother standing in that early line at the convention center as it rarely matters whether you get in early or later, there are always plenty of seats, I never had to wait that long in a movie line anyway .... BTY, I notice that in NYC the film society of lincoln center is showing Margaret with the director and actors in attendance

comment #8

FlashDust says ...

I don't think Sasha even watches movies.

Every time Jeff asks her if she has seen one she says no, not yet..

comment #9

Travis Actiontree says ...

I mean really, what the fuck with Channing Tatum?

When I see him I'm reminded of the 60's and 70's when they'd add wooden-acting pro football players or pop singers to big casts to, "you know, attract the kids".

The only thing he should be doing is a Billy Jack-style biker movie.

comment #10

Barnes78 says ...

Travis, instead of starring in his own sort of "Fast and the Furious" spin off films, he's selling spec scripts and starring in not one, but two Soderbergh films.

This makes about as much sense as Renee Zellweger winning an Oscar.

comment #11

LexG says ...

I like Channing Tatum. He's earnest. He looks like he could fight. He can do action, then can do romantic dramas for the ladies and is actually pretty damn funny. He reminds me of Early Wahlberg, when he still hadn't gotten the full seal of approval from male viewers-- I think he'll win more people as he works more and more. He's one of the few American "leads" of late who's actually American, doesn't whine like a pussy, and isn't some smirking-irony smart-ass beta-male like Yelchin or Cera or Eisenberg.

I realize that all guys have to hate good-looking new male actors until they've "proven themselves," like Mark, Leo and Tobey eventually did, like when your sister had a crush on Kotter-era Travolta or Leif Garrett or Jason Priestley and you had to bag on it because it made you insecure... But Tatum's a fucking cool dude, man.

comment #12

GKLondon says ...

"Great, time to hear every blogger and movie critic on Twitter name-dropping and bragging on their shit again..."

I remember in college I was sat with a roommate who was bemoaning the fact that there were your usual, garden variety bunch of desperate narcissists/insecure troglodytes on Jenny Jones or whatever. (Hey, I was in college. Studying engineering. The alternative of actually going to class was much, much worse) The guests had slept with their dad's mom's dog and wanted to marry them or some such horseshit, and my roommate kept saying "Why do I have to listen to this shit? Who cares about these people and their fucked up lives?".

I handed him the remote control.

He didn't get it.

comment #13

MechanicalShark says ...

I sincerely fucking hope Leydon doesn't actually take notes during movies, because what the fuck. Even if you're a critic, what the fuck. Who even does that?

comment #14

berg says ...

Tatum is cool ... and if 21JS is premiering at sxsw then it's a good bet Tatum and Hill and the film's two directors will be there too

comment #15

zumpano says ...

Mechanical Shark: REAL film critics take notes.

comment #16

Rashad says ...

because they're too stupid to pay attention

comment #17

zumpano says ...

Not everyone has the photographic memory that you have, Rashad.

And judging by your comments on movies/tv/life, maybe you should start taking notes.

comment #18

Rashad says ...

Please. It's very easy to remember a film, and what you want to say. In fact, it's better to let the film sit with you a while before you write anything but not these people. It's sad that people who get paid for this shit, have to break their concentration and thus not give the movie the attention it deserves. Then these clowns have the audacity to talk about "ADD generation" bullshit. Writing notes is just as bad as texting. It may be even worse, because these people should know better

comment #19

Glenn Kenny says ...

Folks, Rashad may look like an idiot, and write like an idiot, but don't let that fool you; he really IS an idiot.

comment #20

LexG says ...

No, Rashad is right on this. Not to beat this into the ground, but I go to movies to immerse myself in the experience, and if I'm sitting elbow-to-fucking-elbow with some distracting jerkoff taking out his Mead tablet and chicken scratching every pertinent story line and good line -- "HMM, that's a great line, best GET OUT MY QUILL and JOT THAT DOWN"-- then I can't lose myself in the movie, and YOU are being a DISTRACTING ASSHOLE.

If somebody took out a goddamn notebook next to me in a screening, I'd get up and move, or beat the shit out of them, or leave the theater entirely, my experience having been corrupted.

This isn't a JOURNALISTIC EVENT where you're taking down info like fucking Woodward and Bernstein interviewing Jane Alexander; It's a fucking movie, sit still and watch it and shut the fuck up and don't be chicken-scratching and distracting everybody. JESUS. It's actually appalling to me that movie critics are so willfully obnoxious about this issue.

comment #21

scooterzz says ...

"Please. It's very easy to remember a film..."

from the author of:

"Aside from Recount and Sunset Limited, I can't remember a direct to HBO movie being worth a shit".

comment #22

Rashad says ...

Scooter, you know they're two completely different scenarios, and yet you still went back to copy and paste the quote. Quit being an ass

comment #23

scooterzz says ...

just the first thing i thought of when i read your ridiculous post...

comment #24

EmilyDary says ...

I'm going to have to beg and plead for tickets from publicists and take cabs and bicycle rickshaws and wait in long press lines and contend with James Rocchi singing karaoke, etc. SXSW is no duckwalk.For more details, all in golf clubs.

comment #25

Gabe@ThePlaylist says ...

I was at a press screening for "Trash Humpers." The very first moments are some video distortion, then some old people thrusting into garbage cans, and then one of them demolishing a toilet in an open field. Then, without music, the title, in big, ugly Atari font.

At that, the asshole in the front row dramatically lifted up his hand and clicked his pen, before bringing it down to his lap. What a dick.

comment #26

Raising_Kaned says ...

I think I would actually find that behavior a lot less offensive than what was being portrayed up onscreen.

Korine's a retard.

comment #27

scooterzz says ...

probably one of the most jaw-dropping interview moments i've had this year was when selena gomez gushed that her next feature would be 'spring breakers' for harmony korine...and then went on to talk about how much she loves his movies...

comment #28

Cerulean says ...

Oscar nominee Jonah Hill. That is all. Thanks.

comment #29

moviesquad says ...

Wells, if you come back to SXSW this year, I suggest spending some time at the music fest which generally blows the filmfest out of the water.

comment #30

scottfeinberg says ...

@LexG is one of the funniest people I've come across. Keep up the great work, Sir!

comment #31

Glenn Kenny says ...

"If somebody took out a goddamn notebook next to me in a screening, I'd get up and move, or beat the shit out of them..."

Yeah, Lex. You'd BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM. Sure.

I know, I know; it's "schtick." Still. Pretty good.

One reason note-taking was considered desirable back in the print journalism days was for fact-checking purposes, which made legal happy and also gave the writer and the publication some backup recourse when some asshole...a person like Rashad, maybe, or even Our Lex...would write in and say "Your review said that X was Y but I just saw the movie and Y was X," and then the writer could go back to his/her notes and say, "No, here, I took note that Y was Y," and so on. Both Lex and Rashad's comments also reveal a rather staggering ignorance of how notes are actually/should be taken, which is hardly a surprise since...what's the saying? oh, since neither of them are what you'd call Rhodes Scholars.

"Beat the shit out of them." Classic. We'll have to get together next time I visit California!

comment #32

DiscoNap says ...

Doesn't Ebert take notes? And then still often get huge chunks of the plot wrong?

comment #33

Luke Y. Thompson says ...

The idea that James Rocchi singing karaoke is some kind of obstacle you have to contend with is pretty hilarious. Like he's somehow following you around, singing it in your face everywhere you turn.

I mean, presumably the karaoke is just sung in bars, right?

comment #34

jecksteve says ...

This blog is so helpful and attractive. It is full of useful material and many information which can be easily understand.

comment #35

alico says ...

will close things out. I'm going to have to beg and plead for tickets from publicists and take cabs and bicycle rickshaws and franklin et marshall wait in long press lines and contend with James Rocchi singing karaoke, etc. SXSW is no duckwalk.