None of this really matters in the end, what with "Miami Vice" being "a terribly anxious piece of filmmaking...most assuredly the worst film [Mann] has produced since the horror of 1983’s 'The Keep'...a generally by the numbers actioner with elements of depth and promises of texture that are more often teased than explored."

(Sorry - I just couldn't resist the temptation.)

Aw shucks, I was trying to be all clever and link my pull-quote to my review, but I guess html doesn't work on these comments. Ah well:

http://www.incontention.com/2006/07/miami_vice.html

But rock on, Jeffrey. Next time.

I think the whole thing's gonna back fire on Poland when the public gets a look at this film.

Sorry, Jeff, but as they say: You Got Served.

By David Poland!

I caught Miami Vice a few weeks ago here in NYC. It was the infamous screening where Rex Reed got his legs caught in between the seats. I'll avoid discussing the plot, because it's way too confusing.

I'm sure the reason why Universal is using a quote from (of all people) David Poland and not a respected critic in their NY Times print ad, is because the movie's a mess. The story's incoherent, the acting ranges from fair/uneven (Colin Farrell) to awful/miscast (Jamie Foxx, Gong Li, and John Ortiz - the latter 2 seemed to be competing for the honor of worst performance ever in a Michael Mann film).

Another problem besides the above mentioned, has to be the pacing. I was bored to tears. There's no reason this film had to be so long (especially when you don't have a compelling story to follow).

Frankly, the only thing more pretentious than a 2 hr and 15 minute Miami Vice movie, is a 3 hour King Kong movie. (And I guess the only thing more pretentious than that would have to be a 4 hour Godzilla movie.)

From where I was sitting I saw at least 8-10 walkouts in the first 30 minutes alone. About an hr into it, the audience has no idea where the movie is going, and has to listen to mostly really stiff undercover cop jargon (80% of the dialogue is like this).

I'm a big Colin Farell fan. Loved him in Tigerland, thought he was the only good thing in Daredevil, and thought he was great in Phonebooth, but here he just phones it in for the first half of the film (where he's got to act tough), but somehow finds a nice groove in his scenes with Gong Li, where he plays off his charm, and sex appeal.

Jamie Foxx has got to be the most overrated actor working in film today.The man rode charisma, and a really good Ray Charles impression all the way to an Academy award, and all of a sudden he's an A List actor. In my opinion Hamie (not a typo) Foxx is a much better mimic and comedian, than he is an actor.

His role in Miami Vice required him to be suave and tough, and he is neither. A much better fit would've been someone like a Terrence Howard.

There's an interrogation scene in the first act that really illustrates my point. Foxx is so bad in it, it has to be seen to be believed. His love scene, which in fairness was really well done, drew the biggest laugh of the movie. Why? Because it played to his one strength: comedy. His "dramatic" scenes quickly reminded me that this is the guy from Booty Call, I'm watching.

Many directors are quick to point out that when it comes to directing performances, most of it is in the casting. Mann made two huge mistakes in Gong Li, and John Ortiz. Coincidentally, it's their accents that made the performances so bad. Li's accent brought to mind Kim Jong IL in Team America: World Police. Seriously. At times it was unintentionally funny.

She was clearly uncomfortable with the language, and I had to really strain to try and understand half of what she said. (The other half I made up).

The problem with Ortiz's accent wasn't that I couldn't understand what he was saying, but rather that the accent itself sounded totally fake. Like he was trying too hard to channel Al Pacino in Scarface and Carlito's Way. From the moment he opened his mouth the first thing I thought was "My God, was Javier Bardem busy?!!"

Universal is selling Miami Vice as a summer action movie, and it is anything but that. A more accurate description might be a character study, but it even fails as that because even though Crockett and Tubbs (or at least one of them) is in just about every scene for over 2 hrs, we hardly get to know anything about them.

There are exactly 3 action scenes in this movie: one in the opening, one about an hr into it, and a big one in the third act. While I will admit, they're very well done (nobody does a shootout like Michael Mann) I felt that for a movie with this many deficiencies, they were not enough.

For the record, the cover of Phil Collins's In The Air Tonight, that plays during the end credits is weak.

On the positive side, the cinematography, and the love scenes were top notch.

Gong Li and John Ortiz are actually the best part of the film, especially Gong Li (the most exciting performance of the year so far). Jamie Foxx is solid as well. On the opposite, Collin Farrell did not work for me. You tell him overact from time to time, which is very disturbing.

So we've got Edward saying Gong and Ortiz are the worst things in the movie... and then Nathan saying they are the best thing. I just got dizzy.

Not surprised to hear Foxx is lame. That guys ego is at Eddie Murphy Harlem Nights levels... yet he has never carried a hit on his own. Anyone see him on the Miami Vice preview on TV tonight? What a titanic jack ass.

Two things about the MV preview tonight, well three:
Tubbs was better than I remember I think they didn't let him talk as much after the pilot, but his character was uneven. Jamie Foxx seemed like he was high or something. I have nothing against him, but he made Colin Farrell look like he was uncomfortable to be in the room. The pilot opening credits being longer just don't work as well as the show's usual credits, and frankly Mann should have gone throwback even for only a minute- meaning Jan Hammer and helicopter shot over waves.

oh, and the grenade thing was badass when princess leia pulled it. come on. I'll still see Vice, because even with a bad Mann film, I can kind of redo it in my head because certain parts are so well done.

Your comments do not sound like something you'd put on an ad so much as something you'd excerpt from an essay. His sell it more succinctly, which is what they'd be looking for.

I'd say Dave wins this round, but I'm not sure what the prize would be.

"not to slight Poland..."

Please, every time you mention Poland, it is in an attempt to slight him.

"my kind of two-hour popcorn movie...an exquisitely configured, not-too-taxing thing for people who are smarter, hipper and more seasoned than the mainstream squealies who went nuts for Pirates 2."

This is what kills your review. Pirates 2 just broke all kinds of box office records. The reason it's a success is because it has broad appeal across various demographics. Young and old, male and female, Americans and foreigners.

By condescending to these viewers, you're condescending to a HUGE audience.Much of the audience that will see Miami Vice, is the same audience that went and saw Pirates 2. The people at Universal would be idiots to include such a quote in and add for Miami Vice because when it comes down to it, they can only dream of having such broad appeal and success.

PS. At times Poland's review sounds like that of a 12 year old boy. 'Drugs and Sex, omg that's so cool!'

By the way, there's been someone on the boards posing as Poland lately. The guy posting above? Not him. I just got the confirmation from him.

I don't think many of you were fooled but for those who were...

Noah said "In the opinion of Universal, Poland's writing speaks more to what they are trying to sell"

I think you are absolutely right. That ad is about trying to influence the thinking mans buzz on the movie. They seem to think this critics view of the movie is the most beneficial, considering what the movie is, who they are marketing it to and what strenghts of the movie they are referencing in the marketing. Nothing more to it.

Jeff, you're making an ass of yourself here. Silently accept the fact that your writing didn't have the "x-factor" the studio was looking for.

Just saw the full-page ad in the Sunday Calandar.

Damn.

The good news, Jeff, is that this is good for blogs like yours. The Internet has finally gotten some respect from a major studio, on a very big picture.

But as I wrote above, you got served by your rival, David Poland. Ouch.

This is like when Pauline Kael raved about "Nashville". Sorta.

And It's interesting that Universal went with a quote came from Poland, who has a well-earned off-center rep. Bold.

I really don't think this has much to do with studios respecting internet bloggers or movie critics so much as them desperately trying to sell a movie that cost waaaay too much to begin with.

I'm still predicting Poland will come off looking like a kiss ass, if your goal is to look like a whore, follow Poland's lead.

Who cares if nobody sees Michael Mann's films! All this is means is that I get them all to myself!

"Vice" has 3 action sequences? Cool, thats 1 more than "Heat" had, and "Heat" was fantastic. Do you suddenly need action sequences ot make a film good?

I wonder if Kevin Smith will invite me to his Clerks 3 straight to DVD release party in 2 yrs.

But hasnt David Poland been paid off by Universal. As he has in the past. Look at Variety last year. Didnt they pay him, like $4,000. Look it up.

"Vice" has 3 action sequences? Cool, thats 1 more than "Heat" had, and "Heat" was fantastic. Do you suddenly need action sequences ot make a film good?

-- Yeah but Heat had two AMAZING lead actors in Pacino and De Niro, and a pretty decent supporting cast (Natalie Portman, Ashley Judd, etc.), working from a great script, featuring some great dialogue. The casting was perfect, and Mann bothered to develop his characters, and write a story that the audience could actually follow.

And for the record, Heat had 3 action sequences: 1)The armored car robbery in the beginning, 2) The bank job, 3) The Pacino-DeNiro shootout at the end.

My point was that Universal shouldn't have sold it as an action movie, when Miami Vice clearly doesn't deliver the goods in that dept.

Jeff,

Check out Roger Friedman's dis of Poland's quote in his column today (Monday).

And I thought YOU were bitter....

not to be the perpetual wet blanket, but dudes, this is MIAMI VICE!

cue 80's synth drum bass...

Dixon Steele, can you provide a link for that story? Please.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,205235,00.html
I can't stand Friedman, but here it is. Woah, funny, mean and I guess true. It's the last paragraph and there's no mention of it in the header.

"And how bad can "Miami Vice" be? The Michael Mann movie opens Friday, but the only advance quote Universal could find for its ads came from an obscure movie blog, aka fan page. Even the regular quote-pluggers must have been unavailable for this one. How creepy and sad. Where was the Hollywood Foreign Press on this one? Isn’t this what they’re for?"