Some executive is throwing a hissy fit. I'd say it's time for big juicy stories on every other movie opening the weekend of The Simpsons Movie.

LET'S PICKET FOX!!

The head of Fox Publicity is obviously a fatty.

Breeda Camden isn't fooling anybody. More like Brina Camdenopez, 350 pound latino fatty. In all seriousness, this is lame. Do these guys not get that the internet is the future of film criticism? Maybe they should call Glenn Kenny.

Mr. Burns is out of control

Fox just keeps on digging their own graves don't they?

Scene from the lost Seinfeld Episode "The Movie Nazi"

Cue Music: Traditional Seinfeld theme as scene begins. The Hamptons. Hundreds of people are mingling about eating appetizers, drinks in hand, laughing and making small talk. A sign indicates it's a charity dinner being hosted by Jerry Seinfeld. The camera wanders slowly until it comes upon Jerry and George talking.

GC: This is a great party, Jerry. I mean GREAT! Have you tried the shrimp yet?

JS: No I haven't.

GC: Well you should. It's to die for. This party
must of cost you a fortune. Speaking of which, what about all those dvd residuals you promised me?

JS: Not now, George-not now. I've got bigger problems to deal than a catering bill- it's Wells.

GC: Wells? Whose Wells?

JS: You know- Jeff Wells-from Hollywood Elsewhere.

GC: Where?

JS: Never mind. Don't look. He's coming this way!

GC: Which way? (looking around)

JS: Oh now you've done it-he's spotted me!

JW: Why hello Jerry.

JS: Hello Wells.

JW: Great party Jerry. Good thread count and I'd
say most of these people are in pretty good shape. No knuckle-draggers here. Speaking of being out of shape, I gotta tell you this story about this fat Mexican woman I saw at the movies the other day. (At the words "fat Mexican" several guests look over at Jerry with a quizzical look. Jerry gives them a pained smile.)

JS: Jeff, please I have a lot of important guests here. Watch what you say. You're liable to upset somebody and I don't need that.

JW: Whatever you say buddy. I'm in a mezzo-mezzo mood. I not going to say anything to upset anybody, don't you worry.

At this point, an older man dressed in an expensive suit walks up to Jerry and shakes his hand.

RM: Good to see you Jerry.

JS: Nice to see you Rupert. Thanks for coming and for your donation to my charity.

RM: I know you and I don't always see eye to eye politically speaking Jerry, but this is a good cause.

JW: (Interupting) Hey Jerry! Whose your friend?

JS: Jeff Wells, Rupert Murdoch...

JW: Nice to meet you Rupert. (Shakes Rupert's hand agressively) Say, that's a nice thread count you got there! (Reaches out and touches his shirt.)

RM: I beg your pardon? (Pulling away)

JW: Your shirt. That is fine quality tailoring if I've ever seen it. What is this that? 600? 700?

RM: I have no idea what you're talking about. It's a shirt-what more do I need to know about it?

JW: Trust me, Rupert, there's a lot more to it than just fabric. You keep dressing like that and you'll be the boss in no time.

RM: I already am the boss.

JW: Oh really, what business you in?

RM: Media.

JW: Me too. I own and write for the blog Hollywood Elsewhere. I write about movies, media, tv-all that stuff. Speaking of movies, did you happen to catch that Cinematic Turd "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer."
Man, I like to say a few choice words to the asshole that approved that one. I had my head in my hands the whole time watching it.

RM: (looking like a volcano about to erupt) (Shouting) Hollywood Elsewhere! No movies for you! (storms off)

JW: (turning to JS who now looks horrified) Was it something I said?

Freeze scene. Cue traditional closing Seinfeld theme music and credits.

Ok, so I won't be writing for sitcoms anytime soon, but I tried. Don't crucify me too badly please.

i'll admit, i chuckled
the thread count stuff is pretty funny

i laughed.

Fox has dozens of screening rooms. Can't they just bring the media in in very small groups and say no spoilers, no piracy, no reviews before opening day. I think the days of big screenings stocked with demographs from the public and everybody's plus 1, should be over; they're archaic. They should rent rooms in the hinterlands to do the same thing.

I really think Fox is going to get the short end of the stick on "The Simpsons" and this deal with HE.

It was mezzo-mezzo. I chuckled. Of course the gorillas are going to eat it up.

Well, it's a good thing Fox Searchlight isn't out of business with HE. Who else is going to remind the hoi polloi about a quirky UK musical that has already not played in little corner of the woods?

Eddie Murphy's next film, Starship Dave, is being distributed by Fox. Just sayin'.....

Fox is pulling out of ComicCon, too. I guess they must equate "internet bloggers" with "fanboys".

http://www.darkhorizons.com/news07/070719c.php

Just to clarify, what does "out of business" with HE mean? Are they no longer buying ads? Or have they cut you off the screening list, etc? Both seem pretty strong, but the last would be really over the top...