Imagine the instant death sentences that would be handed down if a distributor today was dumb enough to promote a film with a poster this this leering, this brazen, this 4-3-2-hike. Alas, such images and attitudes were par for the course in the ’70s. (You had to be there.) Will the Khmer Rouge try to kill me for posting this image in an ironic historical sense? You can’t be too careful these days.

Dan Jenkins‘ “Semi-Tough” (published in ’70) was a raunchy account of the world of big-time pro football. Arrogant American behaviors, racial attitudes, Madison Avenue tie-ins, etc.

For some reason Michael Ritchie’s 1977 adaptation, which costarred Burt Reynolds, Kris Kristofferson and Jill Clayburgh, was turned into a satire of Werner Erhard‘s Erhard Seminars Training (EST), which became B.E.A.T. in the film. The poster, in short, lied its ass off, conveying almost nothing about what the film was actually about.

I saw it once in the summer of ’77 at the Westport Fine Arts. Didn’t mind it, chuckled once or twice, haven’t seen it since. Formerly viewable via Amazon Prime, but no longer. It just popped on Bluray.

A fatigued (possibly dispirited) Clark Gable during the filming of The Misfits. I read somewhere that Gable didn’t lead the healthiest lifestyle. A couple of packs of cigarettes per day, lots and lots of booze. Sooner or later that kind of living catches up with you. It caught up with Gable at age 59, on 11.16.60 — eight days after the election of JFK.

Burt Lancaster’s second Native American role, following Jim Thorpe, All-American. I’ve never seen this Robert Aldrich-directed film. I’ve always heard it wasn’t much. “Not only synthetic but, believe it or not, incredibly slow and dull.” — N.Y. Times review, 7.10.54.

The subhead of David Frum‘s “Bernie Can’t Win,” posted today in The Atlantic, speaks volumes: “But unless other Democrats take a page from his book — stressing the practical over the theoretical, the universal over the particular — they won’t prevail either.”

First four paragraphs: “’Left but not woke’ is the Bernie Sanders brand. If anybody failed to recognize it before, nobody can miss it now.

“Last week, the mega-podcaster Joe Rogan endorsed Sanders. The Sanders campaign tweeted a video of the Rogan endorsement from Sanders’s own account. That tweet then triggered an avalanche of disapproval from other voices in the Democratic coalition.

“Rogan is not an ally to the cultural causes that have come to predominate on the contemporary left. He even mocks many of those causes, while also dancing around conspiratorial thinking of the left and right fringes: 9/11 denialism, Obama birtherism, and speculation about dark deeds concerning Hillary Clinton and the Clinton Foundation.

“As The Atlantic reported in a memorable appreciation of Rogan back in August, Rogan is a voice for men:

“Guys who get barbed-wire tattoos and fill their fridge with Monster energy drinks and preordered their tickets to see Hobbs & Shaw…Like lots of other white men in America, [Rogan] is grappling with a growing sense that the term ‘white man’ has become an epithet. And like lots of other men in America, [and] not just the white ones, he’s reckoning out loud with a fear that the word ‘masculinity’ has become, by definition, toxic.”

HE reaction: Rogan has “a growing sense that the term ‘white man’ has become an epithet”? Growing?

HE question: What presidential contender besides Bernie is a non-wokester who’s into stressing the practical and universal? Pete Buttigieg, bitches.

Four days ago the brilliant Washington Post critic Ann Hornaday ran a piece called “The 34 Best Political Movies Ever Made.” Everybody has their own list of such films. I’m good with almost all of Hornaday’s choices, although I would have deleted Mean Girls and Born Yesterday in favor of Franklin J. Schaffner and Gore Vidal‘s The Best Man (’64 — that Lee Tracy performance!) and Michael Ritchie‘s The Candidate (’72).

For the sin of boredom Lincoln doesn’t make the HE chart, but you know what does? Paths of Glory, which is more about politics and class than it is about warfare.

Hornaday explanation: “There are titles not on this list that are sure to launch a million “How could you leave out…?” objections. Not because [this or that political film isn’t] worthy, but to make room for films that may be more obscure but are no less revelatory or fun to watch.

HE to Hornaday #1: “It’s funny and admirable that you decided on 34 films, which you’re not supposed to do, of course. Some say list pieces should only include ten noteworthies, and fewer will say 20. But you MUST use multiples of ten or five, and NEVER, EVER go beyond 25. 34 is hilarious!”

HE to Hornaday #2: “Gabriel Over The White House has faded in my memory, but I recall an actual trumpet (playing some kind of sad, melancholy tune) signaling the moral awakening of Walter Huston.

HE to Hornaday #3: “Don Siegel’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers (’56) is about ‘50s Eisenhower culture in the tidy suburbs — vanilla complacency and conformity, robotically expressed assurances that everything’s fine, and no place for subterranean riffs and reflections from people like Lenny Bruce, Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg, Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, Arthur Miller, Chet Baker and Nicholas Ray. It’s about “the bland leading the bland.” In summary, I don’t see how a film about the muffling and narcotizing of the human spirit is political, but I guess it is on some vague level.”

HE to Hornaday #4: “Election‘s Tracy Flick is a resentful, ultra-determined, extra-carnivorous version of Richard Nixon. In ‘08 or thereabouts Hillary Clinton reportedly said to Reese Witherspoon that “everyone’s telling me about Tracy Flick!” She didn’t even realize she was being put down. I don’t think Matthew Broderick has been gradually exposed as the villain, as somebody (Matt Zoller Seitz?) recently wrote. Broderick is playing an angry stifled hypocrite and an overly emotional, sloppy-minded idealist — he finally decides to stop Tracy but unscrupulously. And he doesn’t even think to destroy the ballot that favors Flick but throws it into his own garbage basket!”

HE to Hornaday #5: “Congrats to the great WaPo illustrator Stephen Bliss!”

A colleague tells me that the latest 1917 diss, above and beyond the videogame criticism and in the immediate wake of Stephen King’s apology piece in the Washington Post, is that it’s too white. Because any and all things “white” are inherently evil and corroded and should be officially disapproved of.

It follows that Quentin Tarantino‘s Once Upon A Time in Hollywood has to be painted with the same brush, at least according to the latest edition of “Wokester Rules and Regulations.” Because except for the Mexican parking guys at Musso & Frank it has no POCs in the cast. And therefore the only racially acceptable Best Picture contender is Parasite.

I’m reporting this with an eye-roll attitude, of course. I’ve done no calling or emailing about this. I’m just passing this crap along, okay? So everyone can have a good laugh. I’m naturally presuming that relatively few Academy members are wiggy enough to buy into it.

But I’ll tell you one thing. The mindset that this passionately reviewed, widely respected Sam Mendes film, which is based on a war-story recollection from his grandfather, has to be denied the Best Picture Oscar for portraying a racially disproportionate or insensitive view of British troops in World War I**…this kind of p.c. lunacy is precisely the kind of thing that Average Joe voters are extremely fearful of in the wake of a liberal electoral triumph next November, and why a fair percentage will probably still vote for Trump, despite his sociopathic-crime-boss credentials.

** I haven’t yet found a comprehensive account of how many British soldiers of color fought in the WWI trenches, but a 9.22.17 Washington Post report by Michael Ruane contains some interesting figures. Quoting Library of Congress rep Ryan Reft, the article says that among U.S. troops “between 370,000 and 400,000 African Americans served during World War I,” mostly as “stevedores, camp laborers, [and in] logistical support.” Reft claims that “40,000 to 50,000” AA troops saw combat and “about 770 were killed.” American, that is. I don’t know from British.

On 1.14.20 author Stephen King stood up like a man and told the truth about the proper evaluation of excellence and award-worthiness in the realm of motion pictures. What was this brave and fearless statement? Simply that he “would never consider diversity in matters of art. Only quality. It seems to me that to do otherwise would be wrong.”

Well, the wokester Khmer Rouge sure disabused King of that idiotic opinion, you bet! They jumped all over his ass on Twitter, and before you could say “oh, no, wait…holy shit!” King was on his knees, grovelling and mewing like a kitten and saying he was so sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry. “Please, wokesters…don’t cancel me for being an older white guy…pleeeease!”

Have white Academy members voted according to certain biases and blind spots over the years? No shit, Sherlock. I will never forgive those who voted to give the Best Picture Oscar to The Artist, The King’s Speech and Chicago, and that’s regardless of their ancestry, pigmentation or income levels.

Then again should every older-white-guy Academy member who voted to give the Best Picture Oscar to Moonlight be congratulated for showing an absence of these biases and blind spots? Well, not necessarily because in that case a lot of whiteys wanted to counter-balance the #OscarsSoWhite thing, and figured a Moonlight win would partially get them off the hook.

But in a neutrally just and fair world nobody should vote for anything because of guilt or out of some kind of subconscious need to make political amends. They should vote for a Best Picture contender or nominee because it happens to be, by the yardstick of the Movie Godz, an excellent film. Period.

As in the case of Steve McQueen‘s 12 Years A Slave, which I instantly recognized as a world-class effort when I saw it in Telluride on 8.30.13. Or in the case of those who lazily or carelessly voted for Argo or the History Channel-ish Lincoln instead of the far more vital and envelope-pushing Zero Dark Thirty or Silver Linings Playbook.

King spoke truth to Twitter power when he said that “only quality” should matter — a statement King now says he “mistakenly thought was noncontroversial.” For his sins he was taken out to the Twitter woodshed and lashed with a studded strap of leather. He’s still carrying a few crimson welts, still bent over a bit.

With the memory of that punishment vivid in his mind, King doubled-down today with another mea culpa — a Washington Post opinion piece titled “The Oscars Are Still Rigged In Favor of White People.”

Which they are. Changes have obviously been instituted (i.e., “the New Academy Kidz”) but the proportion of white vs. POC Academy members remains unfair and disproportionate, especially if you compare actual numbers and percentage charts in the matter of the Hollywood workforce. Or so I gather.

But as unfair and lopsided as things still are (no one’s disputing the statistics or denying that the playing field has to be further levelled), this shouldn’t enable or give license to Academy members to vote for a slightly-less-good film because it was made by the right people and/or the right reasons, or vote for a slightly-less-riveting performance because the right actor performed it. When the choices are put before you, you’re obliged to vote for the best.

I know it’s a terrible thing to say in the present context, but King was more accurate than not the first time.

From TMZ Sports: “L.A. weather was extremely foggy Sunday morning, and law enforcement sources tell us even LAPD air support was grounded because of it. Flight tracker data shows Kobe’s chopper appeared to first encounter weather issues as it was above the L.A. Zoo. It circled that area at least six times at a very low altitude — around 875 feet — perhaps waiting for the fog to clear.

“The pilot eventually headed north along the 118 freeway before turning to the west, and started following above the 101 freeway around Woodland Hills.

“At around 9:40 AM they encountered more weather — as in seriously heavy fog — and the chopper turned south. This was critical, because they turned toward a mountainous area. The pilot suddenly and rapidly climbed from about 1200 feet up to 2000 feet.

“However, moments later — around 9:45 am — they [slammed] into a mountain at 1700 feet. Flight tracker data shows they were flying at about 161 knots,” or 185 mph.

Wiki excerpt: In general aviation, scud running is a practice in which pilots lower their altitude to avoid clouds or instrument meteorological conditions (IMC). The goal of scud running is to stay clear of weather to continue flying with visual, rather than instrument, references.”

“The pilot of the Kobe crash chopper was Ara Zobayan, a 20 year flying veteran and a certified flight instructor, according to Federal Aviation Administration records. He had been flying aircraft in Southern California for 20 years, records showed. He worked as a helicopter instructor for Group 3 Aviation in Van Nuys, and the company has posted photos of numerous students he has trained to fly helicopters over the years.”

In short, pilot error caused the death of Kobe Bryant, his daughter and six others yesterday morning.

In psychological terms, when a super-rich, high-powered celebrity with a Type-A personality wants something done, it’s a very rare subordinate who will tell him/her that achieving this goal will involve dangerous risk and that he/she will therefore decline. Nine out of ten subordinates will put caution aside and do everything in their power to deliver what the celebrity wants. Because doing so involves the least resistance and offers the potential of great reward.

The Irishman is the finest film of the year, and to my mind the most deserving recipient of the Best Picture Oscar. I know this can’t happen but I insist on repeating what I regard as an irrefutable truth. Because I’m shattered by what’s happened to Martin Scorsese‘s film as far as the conversation is concerned. In early December it was the film to beat. Best Film awards from the New York Film Critics Circle, the National Board of Review, New York Online Film Critics. And then it stopped.

[Click through to full story on HE-plus]

Variety‘s Peter Debruge, filed from Park City, on Benh Zeitlin‘s Wendy: “Eight long years after Beasts of the Southern Wild, Benh Zeitlin brings that same rust-bottomed sense of magical realism to the legend of Peter Pan, reframing J.M. Barrie’s Victorian classic through the eyes of the eldest Darling.

“Wendy, as the indie-minded, not-quite-family-film is aptly titled, re-envisions its title character as a working-class kiddo raised at a whistle-stop diner, who witnesses one of her young friends disappearing on a passing freight train and a few years later decides to follow it to the end of the line, where runaway urchins don’t age and the Lost Boys live like The Lord of the Flies.

“Although the director’s feral energy and rough-and-tumble aesthetic make an inspired match for a movie about an off-the-grid community doing everything it can to resist outside change (that was essentially the gist of Beasts as well), cinema has hardly stood still since Zeitlin’s last feature.

“What felt so revolutionary in 2012 is no less visionary today, but packs a disappointing sense of familiarity this time around, like tearing open your Christmas presents to find … a huge stack of hand-me-down clothing. Or else, like watching a magic trick performed a second time from a different angle.

“While it’s a positive thing to get a more progressive Peter Pan story — with Peter as a Caribbean child and Wendy as a more proactive protagonist — the movie’s a bit too intense, and more than a little too arty, to suit young audiences.

It’s sounding as if Kobe Bryant‘s helicopter may have slammed into a Calabasas hillside due to heavy fog and poor visibility.

I can’t find the link, but a friend tells me that a pilot who was in Calabasas this morning has told CBS Radio that conditions were very foggy, and that FAA regulations state that pilots aren’t supposed to fly a chopper unless there’s a fair amount of visibility. By this pilot’s estimation there might have been 300 feet of visibility.

Just before the crash the pilot, who used the term “knots” to describe vehicle speed, said he thought the “the helicopter was so low…you could hear it but couldn’t see it…flying too low.”

CBS Radio also interviewed a local resident named Colin Storm, who “was in his living room in Calabasas when he heard what sounded like a low-flying airplane or helicopter,” he said. “Ït was very foggy so we couldn’t see anything. But then we heard some sputtering, and then a boom.”

“A short time later the fog cleared a bit and Storm could see smoke rising from the hillside in front of his home.

Bryant, his 13-year-old daughter Gianna and seven others were aboard when the helicopter crashed. News video of the crash site show a mass of burned, blackened metal along with scattered debris spread across a hillside. Blunt trauma, flames, roasted, awful.

One thing that gave me the willies (aka “heebie-jeebies”) until last night was the terrifying prospect of Parasite winning both the Best Picture and Best International Feature Oscar on the night of Sunday, February 9th.

Well, scenarios of this type can be permanently eradicated if the Academy simply follows the suggestion of HE commenter “JoeS.” Here’s what he posted this morning, to wit:

“One thing the Academy should explore is to adopt a rule that if you are nominated in both Foreign Film and Best Picture, then one of the nominations must be vacated and the next in line should take that nomination slot.

“It would be done in advance with the producers of the film in question, allowing them to choose which nomination they prefer to compete in. The public would never know and that would be that. This would prevent columnists (like Wells) and industry reporters complaining about double-dipping and that sort of thing.

“I suppose the rule should also apply to the Documentary and Animation categories, too. No Doc has been nominated for Best Picture, but a few Animated features have

“It would also have the side benefit of taking away the monumental advantage a Foreign Language film has in the International Category. No film that has been nominated in both has ever lost the Foreign Language category (i.e., Roma, Life Is Beautiful, Amour). The other nominees might as well not bother to campaign.

“Michael Moore has already set a precedent of sorts: He withdrew Fahrenheit 911 from consideration as Documentary Feature and tried to secure a Best Picture nomination. He didn’t get one, and he did it publicly (I would do it privately). I think Cuaron and Roma might have actually won had he done the same last year.”

So 1917 will take the Best Picture Oscar, plus Joaquin Pheonix will win for Best Actor, Renee Zellweger for Best Actress, Brad Pitt for Best Supporting Actor, Laura Dern for Best Supporting Actress, Best Original Screenplay going to Once Upon A Time in Hollywood or Parasite, Best Adapted Screenplay possibly going to Greta Gerwig for Little Women (angry female pushback + male guilt vote), 1917‘s Roger Deakins for Best Cinematography and Joker‘s Hildur Guðnadóttir for Best Score.

But you know what might happen? Bong might win for Best Director with everyone wanting to give him a compensation award with the realization that Parasite can’t win Best Picture. A Bong sympathy vote would not surprise me.

Last night HE regular Bob Strauss posted something along the lines of my not “getting” Parasite — that the magical Tinkerbell dust that has sprinkled onto its legions of admirers has somehow missed me (or I missed it).

HE response: The worst kind of empty elitist posturing is when the know-it-all laments or tut-tuts those who, in his-her judgment, don’t “get” the key takeaway or payoff in a film.

Believe me, I get what Parasite is saying. I certainly get the thrust. As would anyone with an IQ over 50 who’s willing to pay attention. It’s not some dense, endlessly fascinating puzzle-box thing.

Bong Joon-ho makes films for Average Popcorn Inhalers and Ramen-Eaters. He’s not some bearded wizard wearing a tall pointed hat or some secretive dispenser of thematic complexity or obscurity that you need a code book to understand.

His energy and passion have always been rooted in the fashioning and delivery of elegant film language and the use of careful, crafty, Swiss-watch-like exposition. High-impact visual conveyance for the whole family. Even the schmoes can understand.

Like peak-level DePalma he has a cheap streak tendency by way of avoiding understatement at all costs. He sees himself as a kind of South Korean DePalma or Hitchcock, and always with an element of pat social-political messaging.

I’m not a sports fan nor a Lakers fanatic, but even I’m upset by the violent death of legendary Los Angeles Lakers star Kobe Byant, 41. TMZ Sports is reporting that the NBA legend died in a helicopter crash in Calabasas this morning. Update: TMZ is reporting that Bryant’s 13 year-old daughter Gianna Maria was also killed in the crash.

Excerpt #1: “Kobe was traveling with at least 3 other people [including his daughter Gianna Maria] in his private helicopter when it went down. A fire broke out. Emergency personnel responded, but nobody on board survived. Five people are confirmed dead.”

Excerpt #2: “Kobe has famously used a helicopter to travel for years — dating back to when he played for the Lakers. He was known for commuting from Newport Beach to the Staples Center in his Sikorsky S-76 chopper.”

Excerpt #3: “KB is survived by his wife Vanessa, and three daughters — Natalia and Bianca and their newborn Capri.” Daughter Gianna Maria is reportedly dead also, being one of the five.

TMZ 12:35 pm update: “Kobe’s daughter Gianna Maria Onore — aka GiGi — was also on board the helicopter and died in the crash … reps for Kobe tell TMZ Sports. She was 13. We’re told they were on their way to the Mamba Academy for a basketball practice when the crash occurred. The Academy is in nearby Thousand Oaks.”

Wiki generic: “Kobe Bean Bryant (born 8.23.78) played his entire 20-year career with the Los Angeles Lakers of the National Basketball Association (NBA). His final season was between 2015 and ’16.

“He entered the NBA directly from high school and won five NBA championships. Bryant is an 18-time All-Star, 15-time member of the All-NBA Team, 12-time member of the All-Defensive team and was the NBA’s Most Valuable Player (MVP) in 2008. Widely regarded as one of the greatest basketball players of all time, he led the NBA in scoring during two seasons, ranks fourth on the league’s all-time regular season scoring and fourth on the all-time postseason scoring list. Bryant is the first guard in NBA history to play at least 20 seasons.”