Copout director Kevin Smith tweeted last night that Southwest Airlines had bumped him off an Oakland-to-Burbank jet because he was “too wide for the sky.” The airline’s “customer of size” policy is that extra-large types have to buy two seats to contain their ampleness. If there are no twins available on a given flight, you’re bumped. Smith was reportedly given a $100 voucher and put on a subsequent Southwest flight.
Sample tweets: (a) “Hey @SouthwestAir! Look how fat I am on your plane! Quick! Throw me off!”; (b) “The @SouthwestAir Diet. How it works: you’re publicly shamed into a slimmer figure. Crying the weight right off has never been easier!”; (c) “Hey @SouthwestAir! I’ve landed in Burbank. Don’t worry: wall of the plane was opened & I was airlifted out while Richard Simmons supervised”; (d) “Last night the wife ALSO kicked me off for being too wide. And she wasn’t talking about the size of my stupid dick.”
Jesus, how insensitive can Smith get? Imagine how all those extra-large types out there who’ve endured similar indignities must be feeling right now. Why would Smith want to go there and be that guy who jokes about being overweight? I know that certain HE readers are very sensitive to this issue, and that they’ll want to lecture Smith for hurting the feelings of a lot of good people. Readers?