2015 has already gone down in history as The Year of Hollywood’s Ultimate Cultural Genocide — a sulfuric, suffocating cavalcade of something close to 23 fantasy-franchise superhero blockbuster films, rolling in like digital lava and perhaps occasionally getting it right and perhaps even creating a kind of magic here and there but more often and certainly more dependably polluting the cultural water table with a greater concentration of formulaic toxins than ever before in the history of motion pictures. Brands, brands, brands. It’s a measure of our times and our souls that these films don’t seem to be generating advance hate as much as advance…lethargy? Maybe I’m reading it all wrong. What do I know, coping with jet lag on a Sunday afternoon?
Is there some kind of 2015 franchise-dismissal list — movies that people have already written off and are looking forward to ignoring no matter what?
A year and a half ago Steven Spielberg and George Lucas predicted a coming franchise implosion due to a constant reliance on “conservative programming choices and rapidly evolving distribution schemes.” If there is a God, that implosion will happen in 2015. The more 2015 franchisers that fail or under-perform, the more likely (or so I’m telling myself) that zombie execs will be forced to try out semi-original material. The franchise mentality has to “fall down…let it fall down, let it all fall down.”
All I care about is J.J. Abrams‘ Star Wars: The Force Awakens. I more or less hated The Avengers so what are my chances with The Avengers 2? I’ve been saying all along that Zack Snyder‘s Batman vs. Superman is fundamentally absurd given Batman’s mortality. I’m presuming that Jim Cameron‘s Avatar 2 won’t be ready by year’s end but if it is, fine…I’m down for that. Most of the others can suck it, especially Ant-Man. The trailer for Jurassic World obviously says dino jizz. Pirates Of The Caribbean 5…nausea. Specter (a.k.a. James Bond 24), Terminator 5, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 (finally over!), Mission Impossible 4 or whatever it is. Independence Day 2 (nothing), The Smurfs 3, etc.