I’ve barely thought about Orlando Bloom over the last decade or so, no offense. I tuned out after Elizabethtown (’05), and stayed that way during all those Pirates of the Caribbean and Hobbitt films. Over the last 13 years I’ve tended to regard Bloom as a good-looking Buddhist party brah who fucks hot actresses. An actor who had serious heat during a four-year, early-aughts period (Black Hawk Down, Troy, Kingdom of Heaven) before disaster struck. But now he’s back.
Three days ago Bloom returned from the Land of the Dead because of what he did during a performance of Tracy Letts’ Killer Joe at the Trafalgar Studio One. Bloom stopped the show twice to tell an audience member to put away her iPad. “I need you to put [that] iPad away now!” Bloom reportedly bellowed from the stage. But she didn’t and so Bloom declared two or three minutes later, “Put that fucking iPad away now and I will wait.”
The woman in question was apparently using the iPad to fan herself as the Trafalgar a.c. was on the fritz, but no matter. In HE’s view Bloom has suddenly become a person of fibre, backbone, consequence. Let his career comeback begin today. All hail Orlando Bloom, a man among men — a dude with standards, a guy who snapped and said to himself “no! fuck this…her iPad goes or I walk off the stage.” Words can’t convey the respect I suddenly feel for the guy.
Killer Joe began its London run on 5.18l18, and deliver the final performance on 8.18.18. Nine days later Bloom begins filming Rod Lurie‘s The Outpost, playing an American officer in Afghanistan.