I first began to hate George Lucas 37 years ago, after seeing Return of the Jedi. He had taken what most of us regarded as a great galactic Arthurian saga and ruined it with Ewoks and bonfires and happy songs on the forest planet of Endor. I held onto my hate for decades (when I was writing for Reel,com in ’99 I called him a flannel-shirt-wearing lesbian), but now I love the guy.
Or rather I love John Robert Thompson‘s deepfake Lucas, whom I’ve been following for a while via Collider Videos. His fatalistic cynicism is so pure, so bone-tired, so lethargic, so fuck-it-all. Not to mention his pot belly and sagging breasts.
I would totally pay to see a feature in which deepfake Lucas wise-cracks his way through the development and shooting of the last three Star Wars films, commenting on the goings-on like some kind of sardonic Greek chorus. I’m serious — I would triple-pay to see this. (He could even step in as Adam Driver‘s older-bro confidante during the alleged “thing” with Daisy Ridley.) Because super-loaded deepfake Lucas doesn’t give a shit. At all.
Deepfake Lucas: “Everyone thought that the prequels were bad. Everyone thought those were the lowest-rated. As it turns out, what you don’t reaiize is that The Rise of Skywalker is actually the lowest rated. Hah-hah…sorry, I can’t suppress my laughter. It just feels so good.
“J.J. comes to me, crying…called me up like a little bitch. ‘Oh, George, I need your help.’ I said, ‘Oh, now you need my help? Well, I’m sorry but I don’t make those movies any more.’ Then I called him back and said ‘stop crying, don’t be a little bitch…what’s the problem?’ And he said, “Rian Johnson just totally destroyed [the saga with] this last film and I don’t know how to pick up the pieces.’ And he started hashing things out, and then Kathy Kennedy came along and said ‘well, we’re gonna go this way’, and I said ‘okay, I’m out…I’m out.’ That was the last time I talked to them.”