I had another burgundy/maroon meltdown today. I’m sorry but it was awful. I was waiting at a stoplight in Westwood when a blond-haired Millennial walked in front of me with a maroon/burgundy double assault — lace-up sneakers plus a cardigan of some kind. Animal dislikes are hard to explain and impossible to rationalize, but they’re driven by something fierce and primal.
I have nothing to add to last year’s burgundy/maroon rant (posted on 5.9.19) but if I was some kind of Emperor or Dictator I wouldn’t ban the wearing of burgundy/maroon. That would be oppressive, tyrannical. I would, however, impose serious fines. Wearing of maroon/burgundy jeans: $250 fine plus mandatory attendance of six (6) classes explaining the basics of tasteful color coordination and what not to wear under any circumstance. (It doesn’t end with burgundy/maroon.) Wearing of burgundy sneakers, scarves, ties, T-shirts, windbreakers: $250 fine. Wearing of maroon/burgundy sport or tuxedo jacket: $350 fine.
I said last year that I’m okay with hand-crafted burgundy or cordovan dress shoes. That hasn’t changed.