In the wake of a damning 165-page report about NY governor Andrew Cuomo‘s allegedly intimidating behavior with certain women, announced this morning by New York State attorney general Letitia James, the governor has issued a video response that basically says “I’m sorry that these women reacted as they did but that wasn’t where I was coming from.”
No resignation, no quarter, same deflection.
We can all sense or read into what probably happened during these various alleged episodes, but Cuomo is going to sidestep them regardless.
N.Y. Times summary of one episode: “A few days later, Charlotte Bennett, a former executive assistant to Mr. Cuomo, told The New York Times that the governor made comments that she took as sexual overtures while they were alone in his Albany office last year. Ms. Bennett said Mr. Cuomo said he was looking for a girlfriend and asked her whether she was monogamous and had sex with older men.”
From “Cuomo Again,” posted on 3.7.21: Another way to put it is that Gov. Cuomo is somewhat homely. I think it’s fair to say that, and I think most of us understand two things: (1) Because of their looks and magnetism and ease with women throughout their lives, Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Cary Grant put out vibes that most women regard as alluring, cool, gentle and for the most part good to be around.
Generally speaking it’s very hard (but not impossible) for guys in Pitt, Clooney and Grant’s league to offend women by showing interest or in some instances even coming on to them. It’s also relatively easy for a homely man to generate a stand-offish or negative reaction from same.
That’s not to say homely men can’t be gentlemen, but I have a theory that homely guys are angry at God and nature on some level for giving them a bad hand, and that they take this anger or resentment and turn it around by behaving in a slightly pushy or brutish with women if they (i.e., homely guys) happen to enjoy a certain power in a workplace realm.
Boiled down, of all the men who’ve been accused of inappropriate or aggressive sexual behavior in a work environment, from the days of Clarence Thomas onward, many more of them have been in Andrew Cuomo’s league, attractiveness-wise, than in the realm of those other three.
From “What Men Don’t Understand When They Complain, “It’s Only Creepy If The Guy Isn’t Hot,” posted on 8.29.18:
Questionable assumption #1: “If a sexy man compliments me, that’s fine. If a ugly man looks at me too long, that’s harassment.”
Questionable assumption #2: “It’s only sexual harassment if he’s ugly and poor.”
Questionable assumption #3: “If he’s cute, it’s called flirting, but if he’s ugly that’s sexual harassment and you’d better go to HR.”
Long story short: If you’re physically unattractive, you may have to approach flirting a little differently from those despised “hot guys.”
But one thing you can do right now that will instantly make you more manly and attractive, is think about what behaviors of yours might be problematic…and how you can correct them.
Because, to me, one of the major differences between a man and a boy (and, for that matter, a woman and a little girl), is that a man takes accountability and doesn’t blame his faults on other people.