“There’s Hollywood Elsewhere and then there’s everything else. It’s your neighborhood dive where you get the ugly truth, a good laugh and a damn good scotch.”
(Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Super 8)
“Smart, reliable and way ahead of the curve … a must and invaluable read.”
(Down and Dirty Pictures Easy Riders, Raging Bulls)
“He writes with an element that any good filmmaker employs and any moviegoer uses to fully appreciate the art of film – the heart.”
–Alejandro G. Inarritu
(The Revenant, Birdman, Amores Perros)
“Nothing comes close to HE for truthfulness, audacity, and one-eyed passion and insight.”
(Salt, Clear and Present Danger, Rabbit-Proof Fence, Dead Calm)
“A rarity and a gem … Hollywood Elsewhere is the first thing I go to every morning.”
“Jeffrey Wells isn’t kidding around. Well, he does kid around, but mostly he just loves movies.”
(Almost Famous, Jerry Maguire, Vanilla Sky)
“In a world of insincere blurbs and fluff pieces, Jeff has a truly personal voice and tells it like it is. Exactly like it is, like it or not.”
–Guillermo del Toro
(Pan’s Labyrinth, Cronos, Hellboy)
“It’s clearly apparent he doesn’t give a shit what the Powers that Be think, and that’s a good thing.”
Director (The Punisher), Writer (Armageddon, The Rock)
“So when I said I’d like to leave my cowboy hat there, I was obviously saying (in my head at least) that I’d be back to stay the following year … simple and quite clear all around.”
–Jeffrey Wells, HE, January ’09
“If you’re in a movie that doesn’t work, game over and adios muchachos — no amount of star-charisma can save it.”
–Jeffrey Wells, HE
Stay classy Jeff.
Yeah, I first heard that in the early ‘80s.
Ewan McGregor in YOUNG ADAM. He could’ve been a porn star.
Yes to both of these. Also Robin Williams
Forrest Tucker? F Troop? Now I’m really, really sorry I brought this up.
Why do you think he was so popular with the Hekawis?
Jared Leto, allegedly.
Great thread. I will date myself….Milton Berle.
Uncle Miltie was my first thought. Howard gets to the bottom of it-this is pretty funny.
We are here to honor Milton Berle, who passed away on March 27th,’ he went on. ‘On May 1st and May 2nd, his penis will be buried.’
And of course Bruce Jenner…oops, never mind.
Friendo: “Why not call your Serious Hollywood Horses column “Biggus Dickus”? Don’t forget about Colin Farrell and Huey Lewis whose nickname was Pringle after the can not the chip.“
I never saw the sex tape but apparently Hank Kingsley from The Larry Sanders Show is hung like a donkey.
Bless you Jeff, after sifting through your politics to enjoy your movie outlooks for all these years, this is the best thread ever on this forum. For oh so many reasons. All kidding aside, thanks for not being afraid to have some fun, just like Chappell. Maybe we are turning a corner, politics in one corner and Hollywood/entertainment in the other. We need a good ref to keep them separated.
Orlando Bloom, Jon Hamm and Justin Theroux all seem to be packing impressive beef whistles.
You can see Justin Theroux on display in Six Feet Under.
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Did I have a comment deleted because I used the word c*ck (which would be strange), or for some other reason?
Likely. I’ve had posts deleted for the same thing. Weird filter he’s got here.
(He WAS in a movie, you know…)
Michael Fassbender (with this particular physical attribute very much on display in the movie Shame)
Nureyev (see Avedon)
Iggy Pop (of course…!)
Throw Tommy Lee on that list. Though, given that I’ve seen it on the Tommy and Pam sex tape: does that make him a movie contender?
And speaking of Tommy: that dude is in legitimate Berle territory.
A lot of dick in HE posts lately, hmm…
Anyway, Forrest Tucker (can’t see the Forrest for the tree) and the aptly-named Roddy McDowall. And reportedly, Charlie Chaplin.
Roddy McDowall? Really.
Indeed – and that was according to none other than Frank Sinatra himself.
I first heard this astounding claim on the late great horror-film podcast Terror Transmission. In their episode about ‘The Legend Of Hell House’, the hosts related a story that Frank apparently told about a 1960s pool party he hosted where he asked all male guests to strip and compare their trouser lumber – and everyone was stunned at just how hung was the winner, Roddy.
Just then, a Google search for “frank sinatra said roddy mcdowall was well-endowed”* produced further astounding information: Roddy apparently possessed 10 inches, and like Prince he supposedly could do to himself what only 1 in every 1000 men can do (although unlike Prince, according to further rumour, there’s no mention of Roddy having ribs removed to be able to).
* I never ever thought I’d do a Google search for that subject, but there you go.
Near the end of his life/career, in more of an anything goes era, Sinatra should’ve recorded a song called 19 Pounds of Cock.
I think it would be best as a torch song, or a Seventh Son style slow-ish brag, but you could sell me on something that was more a version of this:
I shall now go listen to In The Wee Small Hours, may imagine it having different lyrics while I’m there.
There’s so much over the top lore about Sinatra, it feels like coverup and overcompensating for some other… stuff.
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