A few hours ago Sasha Stone and I chewed it all over (i.e., last night’s Oscar telecast). We didn’t miss a trick.

If you’re married to or living with a good-looking woman of a certain age, every so often you need to mention the fact that she looks really great. If you want to stay out of trouble, that’s the only way to play it.

Even if she could use a little spritzing or smoothing out, never say that she might want to think about doing this.

Paulina Porizkova was a super-hot model in her youth and middle age, but now that she’s about to turn 60…well, what can a gentleman say except “you look exquisite”?

You can never be honest with a woman about the realities of aging.

Only an idiot would say to her “you look ravishing but…well, to be perfectly honest, you’d look even better if you touched up your eyelids and eye bags and eliminate that little hint of a neck wattle…you could lose 10 or 15 years in one fell swoop…hell, you’d be a total knockout”.

A woman can say this to another woman, but if a guy says it, forget it…he’s a dead man.

If a woman said to me “you had some work done back in 2012 or 13 years ago, right?…you might want to think about getting a little re-touch down the road,” I’d probably say “yeah, you’re probably right…facial work only lasts about 15 years or so, 20 at the outside.”

Friendo confidential: “A female friend knows the chief medical examiner in New Mexico. She said that Gene Hackman’s wife, 63-year-old Betsy Arakawa, died from an ailment that had nothing to do wth Hackman’s heart condition. Once she had passed the exceedingly frail Hackman was left helpless, and without his wife to assist him he wound up collapsing in the ‘mud room.’ One of the dogs that was in the kennel died because of no food or water. The other two dogs who weren’t in the kennel survived.”

HE response: Who lies down on a bathroom floor when they’re weakened by the flu or whatever? 63 year-old women don’t just keel over and die on the bathroom floor. If you’re feeing badly you call a nurse or an ambulance service. Arakawa was a responsible person. Why would she allow herself to drift off without calling someone to assist her husband?

Alain Delon, who passed last August, was a huge French megastar in the ‘60s and ’70s. In Europe he was on the level of Robert Redford, James Dean, Marlon Brando, Paul Newman, Humphrey Bogart, etc. But he was left out of last night’s Death Reel because he became an immigrant-loathing right-winger in his declining years. I didn’t agree with his political views either, but for God’s sake, you don’t ignore the passing of Alain Delon….c’mon! If he hadn’t become a rightie they would have honored the poor guy.

Most of the 25 James Bond films have more or less blown chunks. Dr. No and From Russia With Love are more or less perfect. Casino Royale, Skyfall, No Time To die, For Your Eyes Only…maybe one or two others are pretty good with reservations.

I’m not lamenting the death of the Bond signature films, which pale alongside the Mission: Impossible films. I’m sorry that the Bond franchise will henceforth become milked for Amazon streaming opportunities….that’s the difference.

@goodtimemedia The moment #MikeyMadison shocked #TheOscars ♬ original sound – GoodTime

@.kwabbie Five Oscar wins is insane! Again it’s important to make independent films because it’s tells stories that people need to hear. I know people are gonna say Wicked was snub but idk.. i think they got the awards they deserved. Anora was a pleasant surprise tho #anora #oscars #oscars2025 #independentfilm ♬ original sound – Kwabbie

Because he couldn’t stop saying “uhmm” over and over, I was unable to listen to what this guy was saying about Demi Moore vs. Mikey Madison. I hate people say “uhmm” over and over and over. Go to a psychotherapist or go to an exorcist but cure yourself of this heinous disease.

@mapchat Watched Anora last night and can definitely see why Mikey Madison won (she spent 3 months in Brooklyn shadowing her character’s life to get it down). I also would have loved if Demi would have won. What are your thoughts? #oscars ♬ original sound – Mapchat

Just think of all the tens of millions of complacent, asleep-at-the-wheel moviegoers who said to each other last night, “Wow…Anora, huh? We couldn’t be bothered to see it late last year when it opened theatrically” — HE attended a weekend showing when Anora opened in Westport, and there were maybe eight or nine people in the room, if that — “and we haven’t bothered to stream it since but maybe we should stream it now, huh? Yeah, maybe we should…maybe. If nothing better is on.”

You lazy, spiritually flabby, heavy-lidded, under-educated, dead-to-the-world sloths…Anora‘s creator pleaded with the movie-loving community to support theatres, and this message went unheeded by the masses, trust me…into one wax-filled ear and right out the other. You effing toads…you guys are the sworn enemies of great, spirit-lifting cinema…you are the empty, overfed animals watching alligators eating fair young Christian maidens in Cecil B. DeMille‘s The Sign of the Cross (’32).

Anora won five Oscars last night, and all the stupid, stubborn HE beeyotches and wrong-way-Corrigans who constantly shat and peed upon this wonderful film (including “It Ain’t Heavy, I’m An Asshole“) are eating a semblance of humble pie this morning and yet they’re still calling Baker’s film unworthy to a certain extent.

Life is wasted on people but not on me for I am the light and “the way”…HE knew and cared deeply all along….I only support the best of the tip-tops…the most heart-massaging, the most cinematically pure…and to this day I stand tall and alone against the over-praised Bong Joon-ho for Okja and especially for that idiotic scene when the drunken con artist mom let the maid into the home during that rainstorm.

Before last night no filmmaker had won four Oscars for making the same film, but Anora‘s Sean Baker did this, you bet — a Best Picture Oscar for producing, plus Oscars for directing, original screenplay and editing…boomsheewackle!

Mikey Madison‘s surprise Best Actress win blew me backward and up, up and away….whoa! I’d been pushing and predicting this for months on end, and yet I “knew” and feared deep down that the bullshit Demi Moore narrative (“Those big bad producers, agents and managers wouldn’t let me make a substantial movie all those years…they forced me to star in high-paying popcorn movies and I suffered so much because of this but now I’m free…the Substance actress I’ve always wanted to be!”) had taken hold among so many SAGsters and that so many prognosticators and award-season pulse-takers (Pete Hammond, Anne Thompson) were on Demi’s side.

And yet HE’s “don’t buy into the Demi horseshit” argument, which I posted and re-posted two or three times, won the day in the end! Okay, that plus the undebatable fact that a huge congregation of Academy voters simply loved Mikey’s performance.

Adrien Brody‘s tedious, tiresome, drawn-out acceptance speech was a reflection of or a companion piece to his unbearably morose, heroin-shooting lead performance in The Brutalist…the mass audience was saying to Brody “we’re so sorry that you won…you’re such a drag…we hate your ass…get off the damn stage!”

Brody: “Thank you, God…thank you for this blessed life…for this tremendous outpouring of love…I feel so fortunate…I have some perspective [upon coming back here after winning the Best Actor Oscar for The Pianist in ’02 and landing almost nothing but shit roles in the aftermath]….it can all go away. Winning an award like this signifies a destination…it is a chance to begin again, and the opportunity hopefully to be fortunate enough over the next 20 years of my life [to land better roles than I managed to land after I won for The Pianist over two decades ago]…I will wrap up, I will wrap up…please, this is not my first rodeo….[we are reminded] not to let hate go unchecked…okay, I’ll get out of here.”

All hail Conan O’Brien for his “standing up to a powerful Russian” joke [see below].