Below is an honest-to-God paragraph from an honest-to-God 2.11 Wall Street Journal article, written by Andrew Gutmann and Paul Rossi and titled “Inside The Woke Indoctrination Machine”…seriously, not a put-on.

I have to drive down to Compton again and am therefore unable to share expansive reactions to Michel Franco‘s Sundown, but it’s easily the most interesting (or do I mean fascinating?) film of 2022 so far.

It’s basically a drop-out movie like Michelangelo Antonioni‘s The Passenger (’75), but I wish it had less plot, which is to say less motivational explanation. I was wishing it would just devote itself to the idea of pissing off and nihilistically doing whatever the hell. But it’s not, and that, for me, is a slight problem.

It’s about Neil (Tim Roth), a wealthy co-heir to  a pig-slaughtering business who’s vacationing in Acapulco with his sister Allison (Charlotte Gainsbourg) and her two teenage children.

Allison and the kids pack and leave when news comes that she and Neil’s mother has died. But Neil decides against going — he lies that his passport is missing, and returns to Acapulco, and then checks into a shitty little hotel. And that’s it, at least for a while. Neil drinks a lot of beer, finds a somewhat older girlfriend (Iazua Larios), hangs out and basically does jack shit.

From Anthony Lane’s New Yorker review: “Here, we realize, is that most scandalous of creatures: the human who wants nothing. I’ve seen enough films about people who rush to make the most of their mortal span, ticking off bucket lists and reaping rosebuds while they may, so it’s a relief to come across Neil, the lolling foe of the upbeat. The title of the movie doesn’t do him justice. It should be called ‘The Fuck-it List.'”

Last night Hollywood Elsewhere watched Steven Soderbergh‘s Kimi (aka KIMI). My basic take is “minor Soderbergh but pretty good…a reasonably decent Rear Window meets The Conversation tribute film, set in Seatlle during the pandemic. (With a tiny spritz of The Parallax View.) Nicely shot, cut, acted, produced…better than decent.”

Directed by Sodie, shot by “Peter Andrews“, written and produced by David Koepp.

Every compelling protagonist in a thriller needs a handicap of some kind. In Rear Window James Stewart‘s handicap was that his leg was in a cast. In Vertigo his handicap was that he suffered from a fear of heights. Kravitz’s handicap is that she’s agoraphobic.

And boy, she sure lives in a nice loft! How can she afford a place like this? Her mom bought it for her? She’s just a WFH tech — can’t be earning enough to buy a loft this spacious and bucks-up.

75% to 80% of Kravitz’s performance is absorbed or dominated by her perfectly styled blue hair. Kimi‘s hair stylist needs to stand up and take a bow…enjoy your moment! We’re watching the movie and thinking “okay, snappy Soderbergh and some nice Rear Window action” but two-thirds of the time all you can think about is HER HAIR!…HER HAIR!…LOOK AT THAT EXQUISITE COIF AND DYE JOB!

Friendo: “Yes, it’s true — the hair dominates. But Kravitz gives a good minimalist performance. She creates an intriguingly brittle character. She’s very true to everything that we all loathe about Millennials (i.e., Kravitz is 33).”

“I agree that it’s minor Soderbergh, but it’s good minor Soderbergh.”

HE: I loved it when she suddenly becomes a kind of Charles Bronson figure at the very end. Obviously a Hollywood-style solution to her troubles, but I emotionally wanted this to happen.

The paranoid mindset of The Conversation and The Parallax View influenced everyone and everything back in the early to mid ’70s. Ever since that time the corporate world has been the source of all the bad guys. A corporate guy appears, you KNOW he’s up to no good. It’s an idea that’s dominated thrillers for a good half-century, and will continue to dominate for the foreseeable future. Because corporations have been running the real domestic realm since Gerald Ford-slash-Jimmy Carter, and certainly since Ronald Reagan.

Friendo #2: “It’s a woke thing, right? Sexual assault. Zoey discovers an incident of sexual assault and possible murder.”

HE: True — a woman being assaulted by a rich corporate pig.

Friendo #2: “Textbook woke. There are only two melodramatic themes today — sexual assault and racism. I guess we can add LGBTQ concerns.”

HE: Except Rita Wilson, Kravitz’s boss and allegedly a sister-in-arms, doesn’t help when Kravitz reports the possible murder.

Friendo #2: “Yeah, but it’s more woke fan fiction. They always make these unbelievable scenarios at a time when it would NEVER happen. Maybe ten years ago. Not now. They want to tell stories about the world that existed before it became what it is post-#MeToo, post-George Floyd, etc. The nonstop obsession with women as victims is so tired by now. They’re like girl people. Not adults. Still children.”

HE: It would be more interesting if they threw in an unusual crime. Like dog-napping a la Lady Gaga. Or an older gay guy murdering his partner over infidelity a la Prick Up Your Ears.

Friendo #2: “Anything other than this. Make the victim a dude. Plus who wants to watch people wearing masks in movies now? It’s nice to see faces. So Zoey is just paranoid?”

HE: Agoraphobic. Afraid of life outdoors.

On 12.21.21 a Death on the Nile trailer popped through, and it seemed immediately obvious that Kenneth Branagh‘s film was an all-CG shit show. The “S.S. Karnak” seemed completely digital. The cruiser in the 1978 version may have been “real”, but not this one. Branagh may have used some second-unit footage of ancient Egyptian statues and whatnot, but mainly it’s all fake, fake, FAKE.

Now comes a 2.11 Variety story from Jazz Tangcay, titled “Was Death on the Nile Really Filmed in Egypt?”

Variety should have titled it “Filmed in England, Death on the Nile Is Total CG Bullshit (Except for Some Second-Unit Photography).” But the headline was too long, and it sounded kinder and friendlier to ask if Nile was actually filmed in Egypt, etc. Tangcay gently explains that “more than a little movie magic was involved” — i.e., the principal actors never even saw the Nile. Not on the production budget’s dime, I mean.

Hollywood Elsewhere’s peaceful solitude is about to end with Tatiana returning from Russia tomorrow. Given her ardent admiration for Vladimir Putin and all things Russia, I am not looking forward to any discussions of the allegedly imminent invasion of Ukraine by the Russian military. If I was in Ukraine I would be torn between leaving the country and wanting to stick around in order to watch the bombings and the devastation, not to mention ducking the shrapnel as bullets whizz by my head.