Michael’s Telluride Blog has polled several know-it-alls and asked them to rate recently screened Telluride hotties. They corrrctly put Sean Baker’s Anora at the top of the heap, but strangely rated Edward Berger’s ultra-brilliant Conclave in fifth place.

Trust me, trust me, trust me — the second-place September 5, the third-place Emilia Perez and the fourth-place Saturday Night are not — repeat, NOT — better than Conclave. They’re all commendable but aren’t quite as good as indicated here.

I began hearing about an anti-Conclave snobbery virus hours after the first showing. Snoots! These wankers (including Awards Watch’s Eric Anderson) definitely have their heads lodged in their posteriors. Don’t trust them! I know whereof I speak.

The first Telluride T-shirt was supposed to be for three year-olds, but the storekeeper sent an infant-sized one instead. So I called the store to report the error, and asked them to please send a second shirt in the correct size. It cost me an extra $20 or so.

Clint Eastwood‘s Juror No. 2 seemed like an obvious fall release, but then word began to circulate that perhaps Warner Bros. might delay the opening until sometime in early ’25. Which was deflating news.

Now we’re told that the jury deliberation drama will (a) be the closing night attraction at AFI Fest, screening on Sunday, 10.27, and then (b) will open modestly on Friday, 11.1 (technically on Thursday night, 10.31).

Five days between the AFI closer and the first screening at your local AMC? Will there be critic screenings before the AFI Fest debut, or will WB keep the film totally under wraps before 10.27?

I’m not sensing great churning emotion or excitement from Team WB on this puppy. I’m sensing “okay, fine, we’ll release it already but calm down.”

Set at a writer’s retreat in Morocco, Susannah Grant‘s Lonely Planet (Netflix, 10.11) is about a fiftysomething, semi-blocked novelist (Laura Dern) flirting with and then having it off with a 30something dude (dashing Liam Hemsworth as the bored husband of a younger female writer).

Imagine the howls of protest and revulsion if the story was about a 57 year-old male writer having a mad affair with a bored, youngish and profoundly attractive wife of a male writer. “He’s over 20 years older!…a shameless hound taking advantage of her…she has no agency in this relationship!”, etc.

The bottom line is that progressive feminist culture approves of older women being pleasured by brawny dudes with washboard abs and and rock-hard phalluses…the way of our world.

Honest confession: If I was a 34 year-old guy being flirted with by a pretty 50something woman, the sight of long, bony feet might gave me pause. I don’t know which is more problematic — fleshy, pudgy feet or overly prominent big toes with crimson nail polish. The ideal middle ground is exemplified, I feel, by Michelle Pfeiffer.

Donald Trump’s closing statement during Tuesday night’s debate: “[Vice-President Harris] is going to do this, she’s going to do that, she’s going to do all these wonderful things. Why hasn’t she done it? She’s been there for three and a half years. They’ve had three and half years to fix the border…they’ve had three and half years to create jobs.”

Answer: Her job was to be President Biden’s smiling, ceremonial stooge, and she performed that task (including serving as the border czar) as best she could, given the inherent limitations.

Any eigth-grader who’s paid attention in government and civics class knows that vice-presidents have no agency of their own. They’re one heartbeat away from the presidency, but aside from breaking tie votes in the Senate the vice-presidency is an empty, officious, ceremonial job.

Please listen to Bobby Baker:

Like most vice presidents in this era, vice-president John Nance Garner (’33 to ’41) had little to do and little influence on President Roosevelt’s policies. He famously described the vice presidency as being “not worth a warm bucket of spit“.

Lyndon Johnson hated being JFK’s vp. (Sometime in mid ’63 he told friends that “my future is behind me.”) Ask Al Gore if he felt that being Clinton’s No. 2 was a satisfying gig. Ask Mike Pence if he felt great about being Trump’s backup. The only vp who made the job into something with real power was Dick Cheney.