Jeff Wells

I’ve had it with “This Is Heavy Doc.” He’s posted his last slash-and-burn insult comment. I was sick of his Anora hate anyway. I zotzed his ass just now on the site (12:30 am), and for added clarity’s sake I told him he was terminated by direct email. His real name is Chris; also Mudd. Good riddance.

..would he have become a proud member of the transgender community, or would he have just stuck to his shoulder-shrugging, cross-dressing guns and let it go at that?

Ed Wood is HE’s all-time favorite Tim Burton film, and the harem-dancing scene [below] is my second favorite scene in this 1994 Touchstone release, second only to the “Bela Lugosi wrestles with the rubber octopus in the pond” scene.

The dignity and empathy that Martin Landau brought to his Oscar-winning Lugosi performance…one of the greatest supporting performances of all time. Seriously.

The thing I loved about Bill Murray‘s “John Bunny Breckinridge” is that he played the character with tiny little hints of “not really”…faint spritzings of camp, a little bit mockingly. It was Murray’s way of telling the audience that his version of “Bunny” doesn’t actually chow down or bend over, Sam Rockwell-style. He just flits around ironically…a kidding-around, old-school, way-before-Ru Paul thing.

Just call me “happy”. Whistling while I work. So delighted that I’ve decided it’s not worth catching tomorrow….Friday will do. Sometimes hate is a warm bath of joy.

Now I really fucking hate it. A movie aimed at money whores who ask “how much does this apartment cost?” Not to mention a matchmaker who smokes? That snippet when some angry dude says “is that my charger?” and then throws it into the kitchen sink…what is that? Chris Evans: “When I see your face, I see wrinkles and children that look like you….where does that leave us?” I kinda hate Dakota Johnson‘s breathy, inconclusive, opposite-of-Lauren Bacall voice. And the guy who says he doesn’t want a girlfriend “who’s over 20 BMI”? Isn’t that atypical? single women these days generally have a 30 BMI, and a fair amount are at 40 or over…right?

A chick flick, Materialists (A24) opens on 6.13.25. Be very, very concerned about a film from Celine Song.

In the original French-language shooting draft (dated 1972) of Bernardo Bertolucci and Franco Arcalli‘s Last Tango in Paris, which I scored a copy of yesterday, the beginning of the controversial sexual assault scene is described on page 97.

The scripted scene includes one of Tango‘s most famous lines, which in the finished film was spoken in English by Marlon Brando: “Go get the butter.” /p>

Brando’s character, a recently widowed hotel owner named Paul, is telling Maria Schneider‘s Jeanne to retrieve a stick of butter in the kitchen. Paul’s intent, we soon learn, is to use the butter as a lubricant in an imminent incident of back-door sexual assault. Here is a capture of page 97. Brando’s ominous line is clearly written in French: “Va chercher le beurre“

The script doesn’t describe an incident of anal penetration. It describes Paul flipping Jeanne over on her stomach and lying on top of her and holding her down, and she says with a tone of alarm, “No…no!” But it doesn’t specifically say that Paul pulls her pants down or that he enters her anus.

The person who passed along the 53-year-old Tango shooting draft (the PDF contains several notes that were hand-written by Bertolucci himself) explains as follows: “Yes, the handwritten notes [were written] by Bertolucci. This was his personal copy of the script. The controversial scene starts from page 97.

“In the script there is the butter as a prop, and also a scene of [sexual] violence that Bernardo explained to Maria Schneider and to the troupe, very accurately, before the filming began, as [an unsettling] sexual scene. This is what Vittorio Storaro told me.

“Anyway, not only that scene but much of Last Tango in Paris is an improvisation, which started from the script.

“The butter as a symbol of the family was something shared in common between Brando and Bertolucci, who both grew up in the country.”

Jessica Palud‘s Being Maria, which opens commercially on Thursday, 3.20, explores the ramifications and results of trauma visited upon poor Schneider, who died of cancer in 2011. Her troubles were due to the shooting of the infamous anal sex scene, the film seems to say, and especially due to persistent toxic reactions to that scene. The film’s main topic is the jagged relationship between Schneider, Brando and Bertolucci.

There’s a scene in which Schneider (played by Anamaria Vartolomei) states that the sexual assault scene was a Brando-Bertolucci idea that was sprung on her at the last minute — “It wasn’t scripted like that.”

“Here also is a very important French-language TV interview with Schneider, aired in 2006, in which she clearly says that she would make Last Tango in Paris again because it became part of the history of cinema.

“Schneider also says clearly that she started to take drugs because of the fame and controversy, not because of the content of Tango or that scene in particular. “She also says that the scene was not real, but played realistically. (When the butter scene controversy first broke in the mid teens, some thought it was a real rape). “You should listen to it all with someone who can translate it for you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdRoJoDTfUU“

…about an apparently prevalent view that Disney’s woked-up, anti-traditional Snow White isn’t too bad or is even moderately pleasing. I wanted a howling catastrophe of some kind, but this, I’m sorry to admit, apparently isn’t in the cards.

You can’t trust the early-preview whores, of course, but I trust The Ankler‘s Richard Rushfield to some extent, and after attending last weekend’s premiere screening the worst things RR said were (a) “this might not be your cup of tea” and (b) “If you don’t want to see a family film closely based on the original story of Snow White, then Snow White probably isn’t your movie.”

Wait…what does that second quote even mean? Given what Snow White star Rachel Zegler more or less said early on (i.e., “fuck Disney’s 1937 version…we’re past that shit!…our Snow White is a leader!”), why doesn’t that sentence read “if you want to see a family film closely based on the story of Snow White, then Snow White probably isn’t your movie.” Right?

I will see Snow White at the earliest opportunity (Thursday, 3.20), and if there’s any way to honestly and fairly trash it, i will naturally do so. But only if the condemnation is earned.

What follows are not White Lotus spoilers but little dingle-daisy teasers…most of them hinted or suggested within the episode 6 trailer.

Sure enough, the brother-on-brother handjob scene happens in episode 6 (airing on Sunday, 3.23), but then you knew that. At least there will be no more whoo-boy ass-fucking reveries from Sam Rockwell….that shit has been put to bed, thank God.

Series creator Mike White decides to forsake the general bacchanalia and return to the tightening of story strands….a welcome development.

A bit more attention is paid to Jon Gries‘ Gary / Greg, the rich baldie who’s with Charlotte Le Bon‘s Chloe. We know he’s thinking about somehow icing Natasha Rothwell‘s Belinda Lindsey, the chubby spa manager who suspects his complicity in the Sicily drowning death of Jennifer Coolidge’s Tanya McQuoid.

Will Carrie Coon‘s corporate attorney be tpipped off by the Texas Trumpie wife (Leslie Bibb) that after Coon went to bed Michelle Monaghan‘s Jaclyn Lemon fucked that muscle-bound Russian guy…the guy Coon was briefly interested in?

The wimpy Asian security guy…Jesus, show a little gravitas…be a fucking man.

Back in Bangkok Rockwell, despite having given Walton Goggins a gun inside a black leather vag, wants nothing to do with Goggins zotzing that guy who allegedly murdered his dad.

Oh, and “what is it like to die?” You know which wealthy resort guest asks this question. It’s not even necessary to guess.

…because she confessed to Vanity Fair‘s Michelle Ruiz that she felt a little creeped out by the presence of Marty Supreme‘s intimacy coordinator. Because GP is 52 (born in ’72 and therefore a bit of an old schooler. Se7en is a few months shy of 30 years old, but GP’s first two films were 1991’s Shout and Hook)…obviously a bit skeptical about the kneejerk anti-male belief system that result4er in wokey #MeToo theology, Doing her part to support the general public revulsion towards wokeism….thanks, Gwynneth. Seriously. Sincere HE respect.

Gone at 83, Jesse Colin Young lived a healthy, vibrant, productive life. Strictly a boomer, hippie-heyday guy. Beautiful, velvety, high-pitched voice. I stopped listening decades ago, but not out of boredom or anything. I just moved on for whatever reasons. Full respect.

Click here to jump past HE Sink-In HE’s 2025 GoFundMe pitch, which is primarily about raising enough scratch to attend the 2025 Venice Film Festival, is up and rolling. Going a bit slower than last year’s pitch, but the feeling is real.

I’m just reminding the open-hearted, fair-minded contingent that I’m no longer paywalling this site, and that the content is entirely free and wide open, and this is the only pitch I’m making. $25 or $50….whatever’s affordable. Oh, and if you’d rather keep your donation anonymous, please send it to my Venmo account — @gruver56.

My mind is currently blown and spinning by a $500 donation that came in Tuesday afternoon…wow.

3.18, 7:45 pm update:  The total donations have almost reached $2500 (including Venmo).  I need another $1K to make the Venice funding  goal….gettin’ there, gettin’ there.  Thanks to all the generous HE friendos.  Love you guys.

With the Telluride Film Festival (which I’ve been attending since 2010) no longer an option, it’s really important to attend Venice. I can’t just be a Manhattan-centric guy. I have to get out there and engage with the world-class sharpies. I’ve visited the city of Venice six or seven times as a regular wanderer, but I’ve never attended the Venice Film Festival before.

Should enough dough rolls in I could use to it to also attend the ’25 Cannes Film Festival, which is only eight weeks off. But I don’t think this will happen. If I can only raise enough for Venice, so be it and thanks from the bottom of my heart.

I mentioned a couple of days ago that I’ll be attending a Being Maria post-screening q&a at Manhattan’s Quad Cinema. Thursday evening (3.20) at 7:15 pm. Director Jessica Palud and Matt Dillon (who does an excellent job of portraying Marlon Brando in the film) will be taking questions.

Being Maria, which I saw last night, explores the ramifications and results of trauma visited upon poor Maria Schneider, who died of cancer in 2011. Her troubles were due to the shooting of the infamous anal sex scene, the film says, and especially due to the persistent toxic reactions to that scene. The main topic is the jagged relationship between Schneider, Brando and Last Tango in Paris director-cowriter Bernardo Bertolucci.

I for one believe that it’s a dishonest film as Schneider (played by Anamaria Vartolomei) states that the sexual assault scene was a Brando-Bertolucci idea that was sprung on her at the last minute, which wasn’t the all of it or so I strongly suspect.

Bertolucci stated in 2016 that the only surprise visited upon Schneider was the use of butter as a lubricant, and that Schneider, having read the shooting script, knew that the scene would depict sexual assault.

I’m presuming that Bertolucci was speaking honestly when he said this, and yet Schneider claimed years ago that the anal sex scene wasn’t scripted but was cooked up on the morning of filming between Bertolucci and Brando…an improvisational thing altogether and not just regarding the use of butter.

And yet before shooting the scene Bertolucci (played by Giuseppe Maggio) tells Schneider that it will represent a breaking of trust between the Paul and Jeanne characters.

I have reason to believe that the Tango shooting script spells out the assault with some clarity, and I may even have proof that it’s actually in the shooting script, as I received a 100% authentic Tango shooting script PDF earlier today.

The 201-page script is all in French, but if the scene is in there I’ll find it.
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A friend says that the Tango shooting draft “indicates the scene in question will depict a sexual violation.”

Before shooting the scene Bertolucci tells Schneider that the scene will enact rape and represent dominance.

I won’t know for sure until I’ve read the 201-page shooting draft cover to cover, but I do trust (or WANT to trust) that Bertolucci, being a first-rate artist, a legendary sensualist and an immaculate truth-teller, was not fibbing in 2016 when he recounted the 1972 filming episode in question.

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The fact that Jack Nicholson was “that guy” between the late ’60s to the mid ’90s, especially the first few years when he was relatively slender and had decent hair…that, for me, was part of the joy of living, fan-wise, absorption-wise. Nicholson’s hot run began with Easy Rider (’69) and lasted over 25 fucking years. Okay, he didn’t really start to downshift until after his last great role, in The Departed (’06).

It’ll be a sad, sad day when “that day” comes.

Posted on 3.29.16:

This morning a producer friend told me about how Jack Nicholson saved Jim Harrison‘s financial ass in 1978 with a loan of $15K.

The late author-poet (whose recent death prompted yesterday’s post) became friendly with Nicholson through novelist and screenwriter Thomas McGuane, who had written The Missouri Breaks (’76). McGuane and Harrison had met from their mutual base of Livingston, Montana. Harrison published three books in the early to mid ’70s — “Wolf: A False Memoir” (’71), “A Good Day to Die” (’73) and “Farmer” (’76), but the income from these works was negligible and by ’78 he was “broke and all but starving,” the producer relates. Harrison was working on “Legends of the Fall” (which was actually three novellas — “Revenge,” “The Man Who Gave Up His Name” and “Legends of the Fall”) and so Nicholson, advised by McGuane of Harrison’s desperate situation, stepped in with the $15K, which gave Harrison enough breathing room to finish. “Fall” was published in ’79. It became Harrison’s biggest success of his life at the time, and he lived more or less comfortably after that.

Here, by the way, is a nice Outside piece on Harrison (“The Last Lion,” published on 8.31.11) by Tom Bissell.

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