Atom Egoyan‘s The Captive (A24, no firm release date) “makes it thuddingly obvious from the get-go that the villain is a wealthy, debonair, gray-haired creep played by Kevin Durand. How do we know this so quickly? Because he walks down staircases with his hands folded behind his back. Only bad guys do this, the movie is telling us. In fact, only bad actors do this.

“I began to lose my mind less than ten minutes in, and the insanity began with Durand’s historically terrible performance. Everything Durand does in this film says ‘I am a profoundly twisted fuck, and I am going to over-convey this fact until you are dying to reach into the screen and strangle me to death…but this is not The Purple Rose of Cairo and so you can’t. You have two choices — suffer through my performance or walk out.'” — from my 5.16.14 Cannes Film Festival review.