Maggie (Lionsgate, 5.8) is about a loving dad (Arnold Schwarzenegger) trying to take care of his zombie daughter (Abigail Breslin). I don’t know anything but I’m betting that the most creative thing about this project was the initial pitch by screenwriter John Scott 3, and after that it was all downhill. It’s a little strange but in that brown beard Schwarzenegger has turned into this pale, crinkly-faced guy who’s starting to resemble Chuck Norris. And that’s not cool. For 38 years or since Pumping Iron Arnold has been his own guy with his own formidable vibe, and out of the blue he’s turning into Norris’s brother? I would have the wrinkles sanded off, have a little eye work done and lose the beard.
Another uh-oh, straight from the press materials: “[Director] Henry Hobson, an accomplished title sequence designer for both film and videogames, is making his helming debut with this post-zombie apocalypse drama, which co-stars Joely Richardson as Schwarzenegger’s ill-fated wife.” They say “ill-fated” in the press notes?
Third warning: Maggie will have its world premiere at the Tribeca Film Festival.