Mulch Movies

Black Widow (which I will finally submit to this afternoon, God help me) is mulch product. You knew that, right? Of course you did. Mulch is the source of our shared Hollywood ennui…the muck at the bottom of the dried-up lake…the disease that keeps on infecting…the gas that fills the room.

Except for a smattering of elite, award-season stand-alones (currently screening in Cannes, and soon-to-screen in Venice and Telluride) and select forthcoming streamers like HBO’s Scenes From A Marriage (Bergman remake), Hollywood makes almost nothing but mulch these days. The streaming + re-emerging feature realm is flooded with the stuff …empty, inane, meaningless, spirit-less, jizz-whiz “content” crapola that nobody wants to see or cares about, but they’re made anyway because the zone-outs and knuckle-draggers, who not only lack taste but don’t seem to even know what taste is (because they haven’t accumulated a sufficient amount of distastes or they feel that having distastes is somehow prejudicial or culturally dismissive), need stuff to watch. And so they watch this crap (including anthology series…what’s the difference?) day in and day out.

The following mulch-product is trailering as we speak…The Witcher: Season 2Jason Momoa in Sweet GirlElijah Wood in No Man of GodPlaying GodThe Swarm (blood-sucking grasshoppers!)…Chapelwaite (19th century horror-drama with Adrien Brody)…Woodstock 99: Peace, Love, and Rage (festival revelers were angry and anti-social at Max Yasgur‘s farm!…boomers suck!)…She BallThe North WaterQueenpinsMr. Corman (Joseph Gordon-Levitt as a presumably inspirational teacher)…Marvel‘s What If…?…Disney’s EncantoThe Addams Family 2American UnderdogKingdom: Ashin of the NorthResort to LoveThe Kissing Booth 3The King’s ManFear Street Part 2: 1978…blah, blah.