Lady Gaga, an X-factor art God and super-celeb by any yardstick, presumably has the pick of the litter when it comes to boyfriends, and yet for the last four years she’s been with swarthy, barrel-chested rich dude and Sean Parker bro Michael Polansky. And now she’s engaged to the guy.

This is the best she can do? Look at that L.L. Bean shirt-and-jacket combo he’s wearing — he looks like an unshaven, beer-bellied New Jersey dad hanging out in a hardware store or some guy coaching a high-school football team or, like, the co-owner of a Cranford, New Jersey bowling alley.

HE to Polansky: If you hook up with an ultra-glammy musician you’re expected to “get with the program” to some extent…to at least half-adopt her style and embrace her aesthetic attitude and, you know, join the cool kidz team.

I’m sorry but Polansky’s chowderhead beefalo Mall of America outfit obviously doesn’t make it.