For the last two or three years I’ve been paying Time Warner for the fastest, triple-speediest, most supersonic wifi you can get. The pitch says it can deliver speeds up to 300 mpbs (megabytes per second), but whenever I’ve done a test on speedtest.net the counter averages roughly 72 mpbs. Which is pretty fast and all, but less than a third of the speed TW is promising at the maximum. Speeds vary according to this and that variable, of course. Tonight I was told by a TW rep that the modem/router I’m using — a Motorola Surfboard # SBG6580 — can only deliver speeds up to 100 mpbs. “You’re kidding,” I said. I was told to take this puppy down to the local TW office and switch it out for an Arris Wowser # TG1672G, which can deliver speeds up to 300 mpbs. So for the last two or three years I’ve been working at slower speeds than I could have enjoyed because I was too lazy to inquire. Brilliant. My name is Jeffrey Wells but my secret name is Seymour Butz.