Consider two N.Y. Times opinion pieces about the ongoing strategic erosion of Joe Biden‘s would-be presidential prospects — Ross Douhat‘s “The Real Joe Biden Decision” (4.2) and especially Michelle Goldberg‘s “The Wrong Time for Joe Biden” (4.1), for which the subhead states that Biden “is not a sexual predator, but he is out of touch.”

They’re a one-two punch that says “it’s all over but the shouting — Biden doesn’t have the balls to run as the moderate, behind-the-curve guy he really is deep down, and if he tries to apologize and suck up to the wokesters he’ll seem like a weak sister to his older, mostly white hinterland and suburban supporters, and so he’s basically between a rock and a hard place.”

Goldberg and Douhat are not wrong. Joe is more or less done.

Because his neck-wattled, decent-older-guy centrism will ignite all kinds of missiles and grenades from the urban forces of “the Great Awokening” (i.e., coined by Vox‘s Matthew Iglesias). And after months and months of this Biden may, Douhat suspects, wind up losing as badly as Jeb Bush did to Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries.

Plus the somewhat squishy, always-looking-to-accommodate Biden probably lacks the courage, in Douhat’s view, to run a no-apologies, straight-talking campaign that politely but firmly talks back to the wokesters and says “hold on, take it easy, you don’t have an exclusive hold on wisdom and truth and divine, heaven-sent strategy.”

Goldberg notes that while Biden is “by most accounts a man of great personal decency, if he runs for president he will have to run away from his own record. To those desperate to unseat Trump, the centrist, establishment Biden might seem like the safest choice, but it would actually be risky to pick a candidate who will need to constantly apologize for himself. Particularly when he doesn’t know how to do that very well.”

Satellifax.com is reporting that Terrence Malick‘s Radegund, Jim Jarmusch‘s The Dead Don’t Die and Pedro Almodovar‘s Dolor y Gloria are all confirmed for Cannes ’19 competition. Also, the opening night film is between Hirokazu Kore-eda‘s The Truth (Juliette Binoche, Ethan Hawke) and an “American film” they can’t reveal. (Thanks to Jordan Ruimy.)

While the Al Franken-ing of Joe Biden continues…

As one who’s often grappled with what shall now be called EBI syndrome, I felt obliged to post this two-day-old Facebook jotting. During my first two or three years of journalistic endeavor in the late ’70s, most of my writing sessions were EBI torture. Not all the time, but 70% or 80%. My default quote was “I hate writing, which is like digging ditches, but I love having written.” I finally pulled myself out of that sinkhole in the early ’80s, and had more or less forgotten about EBI by the early ’90s. It still hits me from time to time these days, but not too much. Every so often I’ll get stuck for three or four hours, but one way or another I’ll find my way out of it.

The Dead Don’t Die (Focus Features, 6.14) will obviously be fun, but it’s a departure and a half for Jim Jarmusch, the Godfather of east-coast, cool-cat, laid-back hipster autuerism. All I can figure is that Jarmusch decided that in the wake of Only Lovers Left Alive (which I loved) and Paterson (admired) that he wanted to make an actual hit movie for a change. The obvious template was Ruben Fleischer‘s Zombieland (’09). The cast is top-to-bottom Jarmusch types — Bill Murray, Adam Driver, Tilda Swinton, Chloë Sevigny, Steve Buscemi, Danny Glover, Caleb Landry Jones, Rosie Perez, Iggy Pop, Sara Driver, RZA, Carol Kane, Tom Waits. Allegedly locked for next month’s Cannes Film Festival.

I’ve never wanted to watch Vox Lux. I still don’t want to watch it. Even if it was streaming for free (the Amazon rental is $5.99) I’d probably duck it. The reviews are a big factor, of course, but also because I’ve found director and former actor Brady Corbet grating or at least irksome for a long time (his performances in Funny Games, Melancholia and especially Simon Killer). Like the audiences who didn’t want to see Dumbo last weekend, I just knew I wanted to stay the hell away from Vox Lux.

I knew after reading the Venice Film Festival reviews that Vox Lux would slip under the waves and that I could avoid it without anyone saying boo. Last October or November a critic friend told me I would probably have a rough time with it — sold! I have to be honest — the “no Vox Lux in your life” factor has made me a bit happier.

But it’s so true about how so few good films seem to “open” these days. Which is why it’s such a pleasure to attend the major (and some of the middle-range) film festivals because at least they celebrate film premieres with real enthusiasm. Brief hoopla windows, granted, but more and more a commercial opening means little or no excitement, or at least effort. The only juice comes from festivals, industry premieres and special screenings at upscale industry venues (American Cinematheque, Walter Reade/Isabel Bader). I’m even looking forward to a special TCM Classic Film Festival screening of a 35mm nitrate print of The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer.

So why did Tim Burton‘s Dumbo come up short with a lousy $45 million domestic? Not because the second half is an over-produced slog to sit through but because the original animated Disney flick is nearly 80 years old. Today’s parents-of-toddlers were mostly born in the late ’70s and ’80s. The only generation for whom Dumbo signifies any kind of emotional resonance are the boomers and baby-busters.

First-weekend grosses are almost never about the quality of a film — they’re about vapors, aromas, intuitions…what the audience is sensing and whether or not the package feels like it might be a plus rather than a so-whatter.