I’ve come up with three potential names for that paywalled personal advice column that I mentioned the other day. Personal advice in the way of love, travel, God, drugs. alcohol and misbegotten relationships. The first concept was a dull cliche — HE’s True Confessions. The second was a Howard Beale riff — HE’s I’ve Just Run Out of Bullshit. The third was inspired by Phil Collins — HE’s I Don’t Care Any More.

I agree with the alleged Facebook/Twitter suppression of the Hunter Biden laptop corruption story, whatever that may actually amount to. I don’t give a damn about Hunter’s alleged ickiness and neither does anyone else. Joe is the guy on the ticket, right? And not Hunter?

Will it come to light one day that Joe is faintly or moderately corrupt in some Ukraine- or China-related way? Maybe, and right now nobody gives a shit. The Hunter thing is a desperate, last-minute attempt to generate a Trump surge in the polls, and it’s not working.

Matt Taibbi has written that “attempts to squelch information about a New York Post story may prove to be more dangerous corruption than whatever Hunter Biden did with a crooked Ukrainian energy company.” Really? I don’t think so, and neither does anyone else.

Glenn Greenwald, who would love to spill battery acid on the Biden campaign, has quit The Intercept because “the news website he helped found [has] refused to publish an article he wrote on Biden unless he removed sections that were critical of the Democratic presidential nominee.” Good!

Agreed — Hunter Biden is/was a bad egg (or at least a formerly drug-addicted one) who profited from his father’s name and power and connections. This or that sundry maneuver (possibly revealed or alluded to on the infamous Hunter Biden laptops), and a lotta Ukrainian or Chinese dough in the mix.

All-too-standard stuff when it comes to problematic sons and daughters of famous wealthy guys. Icky, corrupt, not cool or admirable, etc. It doesn’t always come with the territory, but if often does.

So that’s one significant uh-oh on Biden’s side of the ledger. One.

How many Hunter Biden-level corruptions and worse (i.e., as in much, MUCH worse) are on Trump’s side of the ledger? Two or three dozen? Two or three hundred? The rank crimes and corruptions of Orange Plague are piled so much higher and are spread is so many different waya…the man’s lies and deceptions and shady deals aren’t just countless but breathtaking, and seemingly without end. C’mon, man!

On top of which the alleged odiousness of Hunter’s shenanigans have been roundly dismissed or at least deemed highly suspicious. Anyone can find the links, if they want to read the arguments.

Trump corruption stink bombs: 147 and counting.
Biden corruption stink bombs: 1.

As a friend says, “Even given that the Hunter Biden story is legitimate and should not be censored by the woke media, whatever transgressions did occur, in terms of what Joe Biden did, pale a thousand times next to the myriad documented transgressions of our president.

“Yes, the media, in recent weeks, has tried to bury the Hunter Biden story, along with QAnon and other things (and for the record: I’m not for burying any of that), but the contrast with Trump is the real story here.

“If Biden’s (lone) transgression matters so damn much, then why don’t Trump’s hundreds of transgressions matter more?”

HE to Journo Pally: You know what’s going on out there. You know how p.c. knee-jerk spitballing is baked into the default mindset of at least some Gold Derby handicappers. That or they’ve been terrorized into thinking that way. I talk about possibly gathering together an alternative attitude fraternity that might not fall into line with quite the same willingness and p.c. obsequiousness, and you put me down for that?

Journo Pally to HE: If you were a driver heading into the wrong lane of the Malibu Canyon tunnel, I’d stop you. If you were a neighbor whose house was on fire, I’d hand you the water hose. If you reported to me at [a publication], I’d steer you toward writing about film and television…writing that called upon your vast reservoir of knowledge, your passion, intellect, savvy — and away from your darker impulses.

There’s a way to have fun, serve your readers and steer a sober, responsible business course. There are ways for you to embrace the changes of our times, to highlight the incredible talents in every creative category of filmmaking, celebrate filmmakers from around the world and in every corner of our country. That’s a much better use of your time and a much better business strategy than [your] Straight Shooters idea.

You wrote a column a while back about reflecting on your life, your feelings, about turning over a new leaf. Do that. Lay down your weary tune. Turn on your love light. Get with the program.

HE to Journo Pally: Wow, thanks. I agree with the positive thrust of the message, but — don’t take this the wrong way — you also sound a bit like Dr. Kauffman trying to persuade Kevin McCarthy‘s “Miles” to relax and let the seed pods take over.

Dr. Kauffman: Less than a month ago, West Hollywood was like any other town. People with nothing but problems. Then out of the progressive community came a solution. Seeds drifting through space for years took root in a farmer’s field. From the seeds came pods which had the power to reproduce themselves in the exact likeness of any form of life.
Miles: So that’s how it began…out of the sky.
Dr. Kauffman: Your new bodies are growing in there. They’re taking you over cell for cell, atom for atom. There is no pain. Suddenly, while you’re asleep, they’ll absorb your minds, your memories and you’ll be reborn into a simpler, purer world.
Miles: Where everyone’s a wokester?
Dr. Kauffman: Exactly. If you give in, tomorrow you’ll be one of us, and you can become the new Perri Nemiroff. You’ll be happier. You’ll smile all the time.
Miles: I love films by Roman Polanski and Woody Allen. Will I feel the same tomorrow?
Dr. Kauffman: [shakes his head] There will be no more need for Allen or Polanski or any other artist who hasn’t accepted the new reality.
Miles: No more watching J’Accuse or Rosemary’s Baby or The Pianist? No more Manhattan or Crimes and Misdemeanors?
Dr. Kauffman: You say it as if it were terrible. Believe me, it isn’t. We’ve all seen their films. They never last. They never do. Sardonic wit. Love and desire. Intrigue. Betrayal and facing evil. Without their films, life will be so much simpler, believe me.
Miles: You’re basically saying I need to stop fighting the idea that if I wasn’t a huge fan of Little Women, I’m a sexist who doesn’t get it.
Dr. Kauffman: Miles, if you didn’t like Little Women you are a sexist who doesn’t get it. Don’t you understand that?
Miles: I don’t want any part of it.
Dr. Kauffman: You’re forgetting something, Miles.
Miles: What’s that?
Dr. Kauffman: You have no choice.

Yeshua of Nazareth: “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” (aka “My God, why hast thou forsaken me?”)
God to Yeshua: “Don’t take it personally, bruh. I’m not forsaking you. I’m just dealing impartial cosmic cards. Table stakes. It happens. Roll with the punches.”

Chance Browne, a renowned Fairfield County cartoonist and musician as well as an HE friend for decades, is the son of the late Dik Browne, who created two hugely popular comic strips, Hi and Lois and Hagar the Horrible. Chance recently noted with some pride that a legendary Hagar illustration sits on Joe Biden’s desk

Chance: “In Joe Biden’s 2017 memoir (‘Promise Me, Dad‘) he writes that his father gave him the ‘Why Me? Why Not?’ Hagar the Horrible comic strip as an inspiration to get him through some tough times. It’s been on his desk for 25 years now.

“The day after Joe selected Kamala Harris to be his running mate, a photo appeared online of Biden FaceTiming with Harris. Right behind his laptop the ‘why not?’ Hagar strip can be seen in a gold frame.

“The day was August 11, which was my Dad’s birthday. I know that he and my mom would have been so proud to have our lovable Viking be inspirational to the man who will work to save our country from [toxic Trumpism].”

HE response: “Love the Biden endorsement factor, although I’m still not fully understanding the meaning of ‘why me? Why not?’ Or maybe I do understand it and it’s bringing me down.

“The thought seems to be ‘why am I so unlucky or why does everything happen to me or why am I going through such a hard time?’ And the cosmic response is ‘why not? Some people are unlucky or destined to endure a difficult path. We all know life is unfair and that God randomly decides who will suffer and who won’t so don’t fight it…just roll with the fact that your life is going to involve a fair amount of suffering, not because you’re a bad person but because you drew an unlucky lottery number.’

“What I don’t understand is, how was this message comforting to Joe Biden? How did an awareness of the cold and brusque impartiality of fate get him through some of his rough patches?”