Day: March 10, 2022

The Power of the Dog‘s Benedict Cumberbatch (aka “stinky Phil Burbank”) was the big hotshot guest last night at the Santa Barbara Film Festival.

Interviewer Pete Hammond quoted a Vulture contributor who had called Cumberbatch “the new king of celebrity impressionists.”

Cumberbatch shifted in his seat for four or five seconds, and then suddenly decided to attempt an impression of Hammond. It happens at the 00:24 mark: “Oh, God, what have I let myself in for?…hah-hah-hah-hah! Oh…it’s Peter Parker…I mean, Spider, the Spider strange…aaah-hah!”

Jubilant Hammond response while flopping back in his chair: “Huh-hah-hah-HAH! That’s great! I love that, I love that.”

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“I am NOT suicidal! And I am innocent…I did not do this!”

🚨🚨🚨🚨Jussie Smollett would like America to know he's NOT SUICIDAL🚨🚨🚨🚨 pic.twitter.com/vFRtLNm50Y

— crabcrawler (@crabcrawler1) March 11, 2022

Judge James Linn: “You’ve turned your life upside down by your misconduct and shenanigans. You’ve destroyed your life as you knew it. You wanted to get the attention and you were so invested in issues of social justice, and you knew this was a sore spot for everybody in this country… You were throwing a national pity party for yourself. [What you did was the act of a] charlatan…profoundly arrogant and selfish and narcissistic. You’ve turned yourself from riches to rags. Your very name has become an adverb for lying.”

This really, actually happened.

“This situation should never have happened. However, Bank of America worked with me and addressed it to my satisfaction and we have moved on,” Coogler said in a statement to Variety.

Police draw firearm on Marvel’s Black Panther director Ryan Coogler before pulling out the handcuffs. Bank of America employee says “Good Job Officer” as they take him out! pic.twitter.com/O8kKGS8gak

— VideoMixtape.com (@VideoMixtape_) March 10, 2022

All films need to be projected with sufficient light (i.e., 15 foot lamberts) but especially those with a deliberate and intentional dark palette. It’s possible that the reason for the complaints was that the theatre hosting The Batman wasn’t projecting sufficient light. Yes, I’m bending over backwards to allow for the possibility that the people who complained may have been amply motivated. I doubt it, but I’m trying to be generous.

Note: The above photo of a sign explaining that Greenberg refunds would have to be limited was posted within a 4.3.10 article titled “Big Greenberg Divide.”

If I never again hear Kamala Harris nervously laughing in response to a question about Ukrainian refugees, it’ll be too soon.

Originally posted on 3.3.13: “A reading of Stanley Kubrick‘s 9.29.69 screenplay makes it fairly obvious that Napoleon would have had the same vibe as Barry Lyndon, and been spoken the same way and framed and paced the same way.

“Okay, the lead character would be a determined egomaniacal genius instead of an amoral Irish lout and Napoleon would have more than one battle scene, but beyond these and other distinctions we’re talking the same line of country. Everything Kubrick wanted to accomplish or put into Napoleon he put into Lyndon — simple.

“Remember the scene when Ryan O’Neal‘s Lyndon asks the pretty blonde fraulein if he could pay her for a meal, and then the follow-up scene inside her cottage when they carefully and delicately get around to talking about him staying that night and being her lover, etc.?

Consider this scene from Kubrick’s Napoleon — same tone, same idea, same sexual undercurrent. A lonely soldier, a poor young woman, etc.

EXT. LYON STREET – NIGHT

It is a witheringly cold winter night, in Lyon. People, bundled up to the eyes, hurry along the almost deserted street, past empty cafes which are still open. Napoleon, 16 years old, hands deep in his pockets, shoulders hunched against the cold, passes a charming, young street-walker, about his own age. He stops and looks at her, uncertainly. A large snowflake lands on her nose which makes him smile.

GIRL: Good evening, sir.
NAPOLEON: Good evening, Mademoiselle.
GIRL: The weather is terrible, isn’t it, sir?
NAPOLEON: Yes, it is. It must be one of the worst nights we have had this winter.
GIRL: Yes, it must be.

Napoleon is at a loss for conversation.

NAPOLEON: You must be chilled to the bone, standing out of doors like this.
GIRL: Yes, I am, sir.
NAPOLEON: Then what brings you out on such a night?
GIRL: Well, one must do something to live, you know. And I have an elderly mother who depends on me.
NAPOLEON: Oh, I see. That must be a great burden.
GIRL: One must take life as it comes. Do you live in Lyon, sir?
NAPOLEON: No, I’m only here on leave. My regiment is at Valence.
GIRL: Are you staying with a friend, sir?
NAPOLEON: No…I have a…room…at the Hotel de Perrin.
GIRL: Is it a nice warm room, sir?
NAPOLEON: Well, it must be a good deal warmer than it is here on the street.
GIRL: Would you like to take me there, so that we can get warm, sir?
NAPOLEON: Uhhn…yes, of course. If you would like to go there. But I have very little money.
GIRL: Do you have three francs, sir?

If I was a youngish Floridian dad raising a couple of toddlers, I would have no problem with the “Don’t Say Gay” bill.

The proposed law, which Gov. Ran DeSantis reportedly intends to sign, bans public school districts from teaching about sexual orientation or gender identity in kindergarten through the third grade, or “in a manner that is not age-appropriate or developmentally appropriate for students.”

I was in kindergarten once, and I distinctly recall that my interest in hormonal and sexual matters was nonexistent; my interest in same when I was in third grade (9 or 10 years old) was advancing but fairly minimal. So what’s the rush? Why indoctrinate kids with trans teachings when they’re in their soft-clay phase? Why not acquaint students with the basics (respect all persuasions, discrimination based on sexual orientation is callous and wrong) at age 12 or thereabouts, or when they first begin to taste puberty?

State Rep. Joe Harding, a Republican who introduced the bill, has said that the bill’s intention is to keep parents “in the know and involved on what’s going on” with their child’s education. What kind of parent would say “no, no…I want my kid to be indoctrinated into the trans theology as early as possible”?

Ridley Scott‘s Napoleon (formerly Kitbag) has released a still of Joaquin Phoenix in the title role. Right away you’re reminded that the 47-year-old Phoenix (born on 10.28.74) is looking his age, which leads to a presumption that Scott’s film is about an older Napoleon during the last five or six years of his life.

Born in August 1769, Napoleon’s career peaked between the early 1790s and 1810, give or take. The 51 year-old Napoleon died in exile on the island of Saint Helena in May 1821.

But the film’s Wiki page says that Scott will depict “Napoleon’s rise to power through the lens of his addictive and volatile relationship with Empress Josephine (Vanessa Kirby).”

Napoleon’s rise-to-power period happened between his mid 20s (or the mid 1790s) to late 30s — he was crowned Emperor of France in 1804, at age 35. So a guy in his late 40s (and who looks like he’s nudging 50) is playing a guy in his mid 20s to late 30s.

The 25-year-old Phoenix who played Roman Emperor Commodus in Scott’s Gladiator (’00) would have been a better fit. It’s always easier to age an actor rather than de-age.

Marlon Brando was a fitting and appropriate 30 when he played Napoleon in the 20th Century Fox costume drama Desiree (’54).

We can only surmise that Scott will have no choice but to de-age Phoenix with digital touch-ups and whatnot.

Basic Wiki history: “Napoleon began principal photography in February 2022. The film will feature six major battle sequences, unlike other films about Napoleon, such as Waterloo (’70), that include only one. The crew will reportedly spend a week to prepare England’s Lincoln Cathedral for two days of filming, starting on March 17.

“Filming will also take place in Blenheim Palace in Woodstock, Oxfordshire, and at West Wycombe Park in Buckinghamshire, England.

“It will also shoot in Malta for three weeks, starting in May 2022. Fort Ricasoli in Kalkara, Malta, is set to be transformed into the site of 1793‘s siege of Toulon, where the 24-year-old Napoleon had his first victory.”

Our gas-pump pain is quite acute — filling my empty VW Passat tank last night cost over $90 — what is the murder of families and the shelling of innocent mothers and children compared to this? Only Ron DeSantis can save us!

Note to HE readership: I’m being facetious.