Hilaria Baldwin confession video on Instagram, posted yesterday: “I’ve seen chatter online questioning my identity and culture. This is something I take very seriously, and for those who are asking I’ll reiterate my story, as I’ve done many times before. I was born in Boston and grew up spending time with my family between Massachusetts and Spain. My parents and sibling live in Spain and I chose to live here, in the USA. We celebrate both cultures in our home — Alec and I are raising our children bilingual, just as I was raised. This is very important to me. I understand that my story is a little different, but it is mine, and I’m very proud of it.

“Yes, I am a white girl. And let’s be very clear that Europe has a lot of white people in there, and my family is white. Ethnically, I’m a mix of many, many, many things. Culturally, I grew up with the two cultures. It really is simple as that.”

Concurrent Hollywood Elsewhere confession: I too am a white person. English, French and German ancestors. Raised in a succession of white suburban neighborhoods in New Jersey, and then, when I turned 16, in a 99% white exurban environment in Wilton, Connecticut. And I’m very sorry for that. I used to argue with the notion that white people have always been evil exploiters of people of color, but I’ve since come to accept my fundamentally cruel and rancid heritage, and of course my own basically demonic nature. I now understand that for the rest of my life it will be my lot in life to atone for this — head bowed, staring at the ground, shuffling along in my brown suede Italian lace-ups.

Uhm, not really. As in kidding. As in “there are no white-people haters like white wokesters…ever notice that?”

Posted on 8.7.19: “Speaking as an X-factor white guy from a middle-class New Jersey and Connecticut upbringing, I don’t feel repelled or disgusted by my Anglo-Saxon heritage and family history. I deeply regret the cruelty visited upon immigrants and various cultures of color by whites, but the fact that racist attitudes were common throughout most of the 20th Century and certainly the 19th Century doesn’t mean that white people (more particularly my parents, grandparents and great-grandparents, reaching back to the mid 1800s) were inherently evil.

“By current standards they seem insufficiently evolved, of course, but they were born into a certain culture and were dealt certain cards, and most carried the weight as best they could. They weren’t born with horns on their heads.

“Nor do I feel that elemental decency is absent in the majority of white people today. I feel profoundly repelled by the attitudes of your backwater Trump supporters, of course, but they are not me. I come from a family of “good”, well-educated, imperfect people who believed in hard work, discipline and mowing the lawn on Saturday afternoons, and who exuded decency and compassion for the most part. I am not the devil’s spawn, and neither is my Russian-born wife or my two sons. I’ve witnessed and dealt with ignorant behavior all my life, but I’ve never bought into the idea of Anglo-Saxon culture being inherently evil. Please.”