Yesterday I devoted a few sentences to the legend of Glenn Ford, who was quite the compulsive hound in his prime. That’s what it says, at least, in his son Peter‘s biography, “Glenn Ford: A Life.”
The discussion became a bit heated when HE commenter “johnlsullivan” shared a dim view of Ford’s shenanigans. “Ford was also the only husband of the 4-years-older, tap-dancing legend Eleanor Powell from 1943 (when her career was winding down) to 1959. Can’t imagine what her life must have been like, retired from musicals and married to an asshat who cheats every time he walks out the door.”
HE to Sullivan: “Did I say Ford was a ‘compulsive philanderer’? I said that in his ‘40s to early ‘60s heyday he was ‘Mr. Bone.’ There’s a difference.”
Sullivan to HE: “Uh, if he was married almost the entire time, that by definition makes him ‘a compulsive philanderer.'”
HE to Sullivan: “A philanderer is someone who routinely cheats on a spouse — he/she is first and foremost defined by the marriage and the cheating. Philandering isn’t so much about what he’s doing as what he’s failing to do.
“Glenn Ford seems to have been less defined by cheating (as in ‘I can’t do this’ or ‘I’m just not the marrying kind’) and more defined or led along by the siren songs of eros and rapture. He was Ulysses strapped to the main mast, and the sirens were singing and he was powerless to resist.
“It’s my suspicion that Ford’s urgent and sizable schongola told him what to do, almost as if he had no choice in the matter.
“Ford’s staff of manhood to Ford the actor and husband: “Look, you may be married to Eleanor and a father to Peter, but a glorious, truly breathtaking, never-ending banquet of drop-dead beautiful, alluring, deliciously naked, fascinating, enticingly perfumed, devastating women are out there for the relatively easy sampling and seducing. And I’m telling you that you don’t have an actual choice. You might think you do, but you don’t.
“It’s the ’40s and ’50s and ’60s, after all…you can get away with stuff that would literally get you killed in the post-#MeToo era. Just be polite and gracious and deferential and you’ll be fine. Be kind and considerate and nurturing to Eleanor and Peter…take care of them, be a good provider and father and care-giver. Once you have that covered, you’re free to pick as much fruit from the trees as you can.”
“Trust me when I say that when you’re on your deathbed at age 90, what you’ll regret the most won’t be the things you did as much as the things you didn’t do.”
Sullivan to HE: “It’s not adultery if you’re well-endowed.”