Twelve progressive artists-celebrities featured on the cover of Vanity Fair‘s 29th annual Hollywood issue, and not one of them with a Jabba bod or at least one that tips the scales a bit? Slimness is a form of elitism, and we are here to shut that shit down!
The VF cover stars are Selena Gomez, Jonathan Majors (“yo!…bad guy in the shitty new Ant-Man flick!”), Austin Butler (“I might win!”), Ana de Armas (“everyone hated the film but at least they respected my performance!”), Florence Pugh (“Held onto an old grudge with my Don’t Worry Darling director, Olivia Wilde, and kept it going right up through the Venice Film Festival”), Keke Palmer (“refused to specifically clarify or deny that the Bill Murray thing had nothing to do with me, and then tried to land a Best Actress nom based on a force-of-personality performance that was okay at best”), Aaron Taylor-Johnson (the next James Bond?), Julia Garner (sociopathic teen bitch in Ozark), Rege Jean-Page (Bridgerton heartthrob + another possible James Bond), Emma Corrin (totally non-binary trans-abdominals), Hoyeon (South Korean model whom I had to Google to identify) and Jeremy Alan White (Chicago sandwich king).
