I’ve been told by various girlfriends over the decades that certain boundaries are not cool to cross, and that if I cross them there will be hell to pay. We all understand that women want these boundaries to be respected and observed, and that men who ignore said boundaries will almost certainly be on their own before long.
I’ve understood these boundaries all my life. I know how committed relationships are played and maintained so don’t tell me.
Some of the boundaries that I’ve been warned about over the years are (a) no romping around with groups of women or flirting with various women by way of athletic group activities (hiking, jogging, volleyball on the beach, swimming and boogie-boarding), (b) no posing for photos with various women in my Speedo (this was when I was younger and slimmer) and posting them on social media, and (c) no drinking friendships with guys who are in unstable or neurotic places (loutish party boys, anti-social types, cads).
My ex-girlfriends, in short, have always wanted me to behave in a generally loyal and prudent fashion — like a calm, centered adult and not like some 16-year-old spray shorts. Any guy who says serious girlfriends don’t lay down the law along these lines is a fucking liar.
In late 2021 Jonah Hill laid down the same general boundaries with his longtime surfer girlfriend Sarah Brady, and over the last couple of days she’s gone public with their private texts. She’s called Hill’s general manner with her emotionally abusive and repressive.
They’ve since broken up but What Sarah meant is that she wanted to be free to do whatever and whenever, including socializing and flirting with male surfers and behaving like an attractive and dynamic social-media presence. As the girlfriend of a famous movie guy she wanted her social due — she wanted to be Kim Kardashian on a surfboard or something in that realm. Famous, flashy, livin’ the life.
She now says she felt that Jonah was being a controlling wet blanket and cramping her style and that his attitude wasn’t feminist enough. Maybe, maybe not. Maybe he is too controlling, and maybe he was just insisting that Sarah follow the same rules that 98% of women insist upon.
But Brady posting private texts definitely isn’t cool. It’s gauche, in fact.
