If I had the discretionary income of a major Los Angeles drug dealer I would buy the new LG 84-inch Ultra-High Definition TV in a heartbeat. I am the fool for Christ and the Paraclete of Caborca, and I eat this shit up. But how does it deliver 4 times the resolution of a standard 1080p HD device, which delivers 1920 pixels of width and 1080 pixels of height? Ultra High Def delivers 3840 pixels wide x 2160 pixels high. So cut the three-card-monte bullshit — it doubles the visual density, not quadruples it.

The only way you can really savor the difference, I’m presuming, is by watching Blurays, and even then…

If I had the time and the mad money I’d fly to the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas and check these sets out. They also come in widths of 55 and 65 inches.

The real dimensions of the 84-inch set are 75.43 wide x 47.80 inches high.

Finding out how much one of these 84-inch units cost requires only slightly less investigative work than Maya’s effort to discover the whereabouts of Osama bin Laden. They tried to pull the wool over but I kept on plugging and finally wore them down. The price is $17 grand with free delivery and a one-year warranty.

So you really do have to be a drug dealer who lives for the flash and the bling. Or you have to be David Geffen or Jonah Hill or Steven Spielberg. I know that Scott Foundas would probably appreciate the visual benefits of the 84″ device much more profoundly than Kim Kardashian, but you know he’s not ordering this puppy anytime soon.

How much will these sets go for in two or three years? Less than $10K, I’m guessing. I own a 50″ Vizio 1080p that cost me $500 and change when I bought it in March 2011 because the box had been damaged. Two of the HDMI inputs don’t work, but otherwise it’s been fine.