Showbiz 411’s Roger Friedman is “hearing rumors” that Kimberly Peirce (Boys Don’t Cry, Stop/Loss) is either hoping or planning to direct a remake of Lawrence Kasdan‘s Body Heat, the 43 year-old, sexually charged, Floridian film noir that existed in a world that didn’t have air conditioners.

Heat costarred William Hurt and Kathleen Turner as thirtysomething lovers Ned Racine, a not-smart-enough attorney, and Matty Walker, a married, heavy-breathing sociopath who’s breathtaking in bed. Ted Danson, J. A. Preston, Mickey Rourke and Richard Crenna (as Matty’s rich husband) costarred.

Friedman speculates that Racine and Walker could be played by some hot hetero twosome. Perhaps Matthew McConaughey and Florence Pugh, he imagines.

But of course, if and when Peirce, a queer filmmaker, manages to arrange funding for a Body Heat remake, the extra-marital lovers would be women…certainly. Given the same-sex storylines being favored in elite film circles these days (Love Lies Bleeding, Drive Away Dolls), there’s no way the new Body Heat lovers would be straight.

Friendo: “First they did the ‘remake every movie with a black person’ and now they’re doing ‘remake every movie with a gay person’ You know what would be good with four gay people? Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf.”