Imagine a world in which the assurance of fast wifi on a train trip would be so locked down that you wouldn’t have a moment’s doubt. I’m experiencing considerable doubt right now, of course, as I prepare to catch an Amtrak train from Albany to Penn Station. I found out during a train ride from Grand Central to Norwalk earlier this week that you can have three, four or five bars on your AT&T Air Card but you still can’t connect to the internet if you’re moving.

Albany-Rensselaer train station — Friday, 12.26, 12:35 pm — waiting on 1:05 pm train to Penn Station.

Oh, and some of the yokels up here pronounce Albany like Albany, as in “you can call me Al.” It’s Albany as in “all of me,” of course.