I got up late this morning because the girl next door was having very audible sex for a good hour between 1 am and 2:10 am. Sleeping through the gasping and high-pitched shrieking was impossible. I read stuff on the iPad3 as I waited for her to reach orgasm. It sounded like she finally got there about 1:25 or 1:30 am…fine. Then she was back at it a few minutes later. A second wolf-howl orgasm woke up the neighborhood around 1:45 or 1:50 am. That has to be it, I told myself….please. I have to get up at 7 am.

And then she was gasping and crying and begging for deliverance again about five minutes later. Then I realized she was the Unsinkable Molly Brown of orgasms and that this might go on until God knows when. The only way this can end is when the boyfriend gets there, I told myself. I became a Red Sox fan in the stands, rooting for the guy. C’mon, dude…let go, take the leap, go over the waterfall. Three or four minutes later the girl was shrieking again and then I heard the boyfriend go “awwrrgghhm.” Thank you. And give it a go in the early evening sometime. Or at least closer to 11 pm or midnight.