Everyone is welcomed, embraced and celebrated in Barbie-land. Unless, of course, you’re a white, middle-aged or older cis male like Will Ferrell’s Mattel CEO or, you know, someone like myself. In which case you’re a bit of a problematic life form.

Which is sorta kinda how it works in the real world these days, no?

Now as before, the smart play is to keep your head down and operate within the herd, so to speak. Don’t mouth off or make waves, don’t stand out, conform or be silent. And if you’re an older white cis male, be as invisible as possible. That or get the hell outta Dodge.

…before James Mangold and Timothee Chalamet finally start shooting the endlessly delayed A Complete Unknown or Going Electric or whatever they’re calling it now? Fish or cut bait, cowards.

…who was busted a few days ago for carving his own name and that of his girlfriend (“Ivan + Haley ‘23”) into a Roman Colisseum wall should face two (2) distinct punishments — one for defacing a priceless ancient monument and a second for professing ignorance about the age of the 2000-year-old amphitheater. The guy should definitely be jailed and slapped around.

The already much-celebrated Lily Gladstone performance in Martin Scorsese’s Killers of the Flower Moon is rooted in the rudiments of woke representation. She plays the sadly fabled Molly Burkhart, but her arc is solely about being a victim of greed — she mostly just sits (or lies) there and seethes, glowers and casts daggers of suspicion.

Truth #1 is that Gladstone doesn’t really have much of a part. Not much in the way of emotional scope or specificity. Truth #2 is that her supporters will be loathe to admit this.

Native American tokenism (or, in an award-season context, ethnic novelty as she’d be the first Native American actor to seriously compete since Will Sampson) will see her through in the Best Supporting Actress category, agreed, but those who contend for a Best Actress Oscar are expected to qualify with some kind of rip-snortin’, full-bodied, go-for-the-gusto performance, and the Killers of the Flower Moon script simply doesn’t allow Gladstone to do that.

You just know it’s a smartypants box–office trade term that will stick like glue. (Credit to HE’s Daniel Zelter for spotting Barber’s article early.)

Three days after HE’s summary of recently departed female DEI execs (“Dropping Like Flies”), another diversity lassie has been cut loose.

Friendo sez: “Live Free or Die Hard (‘07), Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (‘08) and Rambo (‘08) were all fourth installments after long gaps with older original leads. They all turned a profit.

“After that, the franchise-masters tried for a fifth go-round and tanked — A Good Day to Die Hard (‘13), Indiana Jones & the Dial of Destiny and Rambo: Last Blood (‘19).

“We all attend our first big high school reunion, but often don’t come back for follow-ups.”