Jeff Wells

Roger Friedman‘s 2.20 “Cannes exclusive” isn’t about the certainty of Martin Scorsese‘s Killers of the Flower Moon debuting at the 2023 Cote d’Azur festival — that assumption has already gained ground. Ditto the loose talk about Chris Nolan‘s Oppenheimer, James Mangold‘s Indiana Jones and the Wheel of Fortune Dial of Destiny, Woody Allen‘s Coup de Chance and Sofia Coppola‘s Priscilla.

Friedman’s new info (alleged but not confirmed) is partly about the festival’s opening-night attraction — Pedro Almodovar‘s A Strange Way of Life, a 40-minute, English-language short costarring Ethan Hawke and Pedro Pascal. With just about every significant feature running 120 minutes these days (and often longer), one can’t help but admire Almodovar’s decision to keep A Strange Way of Life to one-third of that running time.

In my mind a 40-minute film isn’t a “short” — it’s a tweener.

The other announcement is about Maiwenn‘s Jeanne du Barry, a historical drama set during the French revolution that may, according to Friedman, screen on the second night of the festival. Alternately called La Favorite, the film will star Maiwenn as Jeanne Becu (aka Madame du Barry) in a rags-to-riches-to-guillotine story. Accused of treason, Becu lost her head during the French terror, and more precisely on December 8, 1793.

Johnny Depp allegedly plays the aged King Louis XV, who enjoyed Becu as his final mistress. The only problem is that Louis XV died in 1774, or 15 years before the French Revolution of ’89 and nearly 20 years before Becu’s execution so I don’t get it.

Wikipedia says Netflix will release Jeanne du Barry in France in 2023 (probably right after Cannes ’23), but that the streaming release won’t happen for another 15 months, or sometime in the fall of ’24. The Wiki page also states that the film, which finished shooting last October, was financed by the Red Sea International Film Festival. I don’t know…sounds kinda fishy.

The length of Scorsese’s Flower Moon is still in the vicinity of three hours and and 20 minutes. One possible reason is that the story Scorsese is looking to tell (based on David Grann’s 2017 book of the same name) simply required that running time to make it all work. Another possible reason is that Scorsese was fearful of Flower Moon being accused by Film Twitter of being a white savior tale and so he decided to add a fair amount of “Native Americans had their own agency” stuff so he and the film wouldn’t get in trouble with Native American wokesters.

The “Flower Moon has allegedly been woked into an anti-white savior film” angle was fully explored by Jordan Ruimy on 1.20.23. The first hint of this was reported the same date by Variety‘s Zack Sharf.

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Discovery evidence in the Dominion lawsuit against Fox News has revealed that Fox hosts knowingly and brazenly lied about Donald Trump‘s claims of 2020 election fraud, which they knew were total bullshit. But Fox has been lying to their viewers for years about lots of stuff, right? They’re not beholden to the facts as a rule — they’re beholden to the Fox News narrative, which sometimes reveals certain truths but often obscures or ignores other truths.

Andrew Sullivan (58:23): “Have you seen The Banshees of Inisherin?”

Bill Maher: “I have almost seen it. I’m almost at the end. A friend and his wife saw it, and they cautioned me off of it. It was on cable” — who watches cable? — “so I could tape it” — who tapes shows? — “and watch it in the kitchen. This is a kitchen film, I figured. It’s gonna be talky and ponderous, which it is…but in the kitchen [a film like this] works perfectly. And I’m almost to the end. Spoiler alert — the cutting off of the fingers. And, being close at the end, I don’t quite see how that pays off. And the sister left…”

Sullivan: “The scene I was thinking about…Colin [Farrell] has come to this realization…just to be with a normal person, nobody’s gonna remember us. And Brendan has to have his music and Colin just wants [simple] companionship.”

Maher: “That’s the point of the movie.”

Sullivan: “Yeah, and there is that conflict. And there’s this conversation where [Kerry Condon says to Brendan Gleeson], ‘That wouldn’t be good for your music, would it, if you chopped all your fingers off?’ And he says, ‘Ahh, now we’re gettin’ somewhere.'”

Maher: “But he does it [anyway].”

Sullivan: “And Gleeson says, ‘Yoo know sometimes I think we just entertain ourselves to stave off the inevitable. Don’t you think?’ And she says, ‘No, I don’t.’ And he looks at her and says, ‘Yeah, you do.'”

[Sullivan’s rendition is pretty close to Martin McDonagh’s screenplay, The passage can be found on page 59.]

Maher: “It’s so Irish, so Irish. A lot of suffering, and a lot of poetic-in-the-soul from the suffering. When Brendan suddenly says to Colin, ‘Leave me alone, you’re boring’, I thought ‘Colin Farrell, one of the most charismatic actors of the last 20 years, is boring?’ But okay, I got past that…”

Sullivan: “The older I get, the more Irish I get. The way they mix this dark anger with humor. The West Coast of Ireland, these people…”

Maher: “But [the film] had better have a big payoff. Colin burns Brenan’s house down…I’ve gotten to that part. Does something happen at the end to redeem this [fecking] story?”

HE to Maher: No, nothing happens. It doesn’t pay off at all. The movie simply leaves you with death and despair and severed digits, and the distant rumble of Civil War happening on the mainland.

Which is why the movie has never been in the Best Picture conversation, although the performers — Colin, Kerry, Barry — have been doing fine. Brendan hasn’t won anything because his character cut his fingers off and people generally don’t like that. I certainly didn’t. I found it ridiculous, in fact. Absurdly nihilistic.

Maher and Sullivan keep talking about Banshees for a while. [Until at least the 1:10 mark.] Then they get into the now-familiar observation, “This movie couldn’t be made today.” Maher: “How many films qualify in this regard?” Sullivan: “Basically everything.”

Elizabeth Banks‘ Cocaine Bear opens on Friday, 2.24. It will press-screen on Wednesday (2.22). This in itself is telling.

Wry journo comment: “We all know it’s going to open big next weekend, but there’s no way it’s conventionally good. It could be awful in a very amusing way or just plain awful.”

Regional industry friendo: “I’ve heard it’s awful.  And incredibly gory.”

In less than a month, the legendary William Shatner will celebrate his 92nd birthday. The man has been acting since the early ’50s — call it 70 years. And that’s not all he’s been doing for several decades.

According to shatnerstoupee, Shatner began wearing a hairpiece sometime between 1957 and 1958, or roughly 65 years ago. Born on 3.22.31, Shatner was somewhere between 26 and 27 when he embarked upon this follicular path. I’ve always been an admirer of well-designed wigs, and for my money Shatner’s have always looked pretty good. I just find it fascinating that he’s been toupee’d for this long…roughly 70 percent of his time on the planet earth.

HE’s favorite Shatner performances (and I haven’t chosen these to deride him — Shatner is a first-rate actor): (a) His Kirk performances in Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan (’82) and in Star Trek: The Voyage Home (’86); (b) Angie Dickinson‘s criminal lover in Big Bad Mama (’74), (c) The hysterical plane passenger in the Twilight Zone episode “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” (’63), (d) Spencer Tracy‘s military aide in Judgment at Nuremberg (’61), and (e) the game show episode when he lost his temper for accidentally revealing an answer when he should’ve passed along a clue.

In the wake of Sunday evening’s BAFTA awards, during which All Quiet on the Western Front took seven top trophies (including Best Picture and Best Diretor) and the deeply despised Everything Everywhere All At Once was almost completely shut out (except for Best Editing)…in the wake of this gloriuous post-DGA Awards ectasy, Hollywood Elsewhere is clutching a swagger stick as it leads the uphill charge against EEAAO…Lordy, I swear we can win this!…the Charge of the Light Brigade!…half a league, half a league, half a league onward!

No slight against Elvis‘s Austin Butler, the Best Leading Actor winner, but i wish Banshees‘ Colin Farrell had won instead.

HE offers a hale and hearty “go eff yourself” to Brian Rowe for posting the following tweet:

Professional industry friendo: “All Quiet on the Western Front has mostly swept the BAFTAs with seven (7) trophies include Best Picture and Best Director. But still Netflix has failed to organize an effective screening campaign for Academy members. Which offers a stark contrast comparied to their campaigns for Glass Onion and Bardo, not to mention the blood, sweat and tears they poured into The Irishman. Whassup there? Perhaps they lost my email address, which is possible, and that’s the only reason I can work out. Because I’ve not received a single All Quiet screening invite.”

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God help the forces of cinematic aspiration, wish fulfillment and basic decency if Everything Everywhere All At Once…if the fucking Daniels, I mean, wind up winning the top award at this evening’s 75th annual DGA Awards.

Dear God…please, please don’t let this infuriating headspinner…this mongrel of an IRS Marvel multiverse yarn…please don’t let it win tonight. I’m on my knees, Lord…begging, pleading. Dread isn’t the name of the stuff that’s pulsing through my system. Don’t let the Eric Kohn contingent win…please.

Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert aside, the four competitors for the top prize are Todd Field, Tár; Joseph Kosinski, Top Gun: Maverick; Martin McDonagh, The Banshees of Inisherin; and Steven Spielberg, The Fabelmans.

What the hell, give it to Spielberg…that won’t hurt so badly.

The DGA ceremonies will begin…I don’t know when they’ll begin but things should be well underway by 9 pm Pacific. The venue is the Beverly Hilton hotel ballroom, the same place where the Golden Globes happened a while back.

@bussinwtb @jeffreestar takes a hard stance on pronouns #BWTB ♬ original sound – bussinwtb

I was all cranked up and ready to cheer Ben Affleck and Matt Damon‘s Air (Amazon, 4.5), and then I saw the one-sheet…yikes!

My first honest thought was “this looks like an ’80s Cannon poster for one of their programmers.” (I used to work at Cannon in the late ’80s so don’t tell me.) It also looks like the poster for Airport (’70) or The Towering Inferno (’74).

My second thought was “where’s Michael Jordan, who, along with Damon’s Sonny Vaccaro, a hot-shot Nike Salesman, is right at the heart of the story?” The answer, of course, is that Jordan isn’t portrayed in the film, although his parents, James R. and Deloris Jordan, are front and center, portrayed by Julius Tennon and Viola Davis.

My third thought: “Wait…who’s Chris Tucker playing? Obviously not Jordan (too old) but who?”

It sends out the wrong vibes. Seriously.

From yesterday’s (2.17) rave Deadline review of Matt Johnson‘s BlackBerry. It was written by Pete Hammond, who in all fairness and full disclosure should have perhaps disclosed that he was a devotional BlackBerry guy for many years:

“Who knew a Canadian biopic of an infamous smartphone could be this entertaining, even poignant and moving? I am here to tell you today’s world premiere Berlin Film Festival competition entry BlackBerry is all that and more.

“In the hands of co-writer, director and co-star Matt Johnson (The Dirties), this long and winding tale of the rise and fall of the BlackBerry, the revolutionary device that first combined a computer with a phone all in one, is at once wonderfully funny, suspenseful and ultimately tragic. Here is a business story that has it all, and has much in common with other movies that focus on iconic tales of new-age businesses like The Social Network, Moneyball and The Big Short. Those movies had the likes of Aaron Sorkin and Adam McKay behind them, and this one ought to really put its chief architect Johnson on the cinematic map.

“Centering on nerdy and inventive Mike Lazaridis (a terrific and never better Jay Baruchel) and Jim Balsillie (Glenn Howerton — sensational), Johnson’s film starts in 1996 with the emergence of this unheard of idea of a phone that can also send and receive emails with its keyboard built into a magical device no one in the tech world had achieved before these Canadian dreamers actually found a way to make it work.

From a review of same by Screen Daily‘s Lee Marshall:

“Johnson and co-writer Matthew Miller turn the story of [the BlackBerry’s] brisk rise and meteoric fall into a kind of breathless tech fever dream, a relentless but addictive downbeat human comedy about the struggle to stay on top in a fast-moving industry.

“Previously something of an indie slacker-comedy and mockumentary specialist, Canadian director Johnson (Operation Avalanche) should achieve international visibility with a film that was picked up by Paramount for the bulk of worldwide rights just prior to its Berlin competition debut (North America, the Middle East, Scandinavia and airline rights were previously sold by co-financier XYZ Films).”

Hammond again: “Audiences in the film’s core 30-60 age bracket will likely have David Fincher’s 2010 drama about the rise of Facebook — and perhaps also Danny Boyle’s 2015 Apple drama Steve Jobs — in mind, and BlackBerry doesn’t suffer by comparison.

“The big difference is that BlackBerry filters out the white noise to focus entirely on the workplace. We have no idea if the film’s two central characters, tech genius and RIM co-founder Mike Lazaridis (Jay Baruchel) and the company’s hard-nosed, borderline psychotic business head, Jim Balsillie (Glenn Howerton), are in relationships with anyone. We see Balsillie at home alone for a few brief seconds; the rest of the action takes place in the workshop and boardrooms.

“But first it is Lazaridis and his freewheeling, loopy but tech-smart buddy Douglas Fregin (played endearingly by Johnson himself), along with their unsophisticated tech-y friends, who are out to convince the world they can deliver on the promise of their then unnamed invention. Once they bring a sharp and uber-aggressive businessman, Balsillie, into their company Research In Motion, an idea from nerd-land turns into a reality — especially when Balsillie manages to convince Bell Atlantic, particularly chief skeptic John Woodman (Saul Rubinek), of its value for their servers.

“On its way to market the BlackBerry must overcome all sorts of obstacles and impossible business deals, but by the early aughts it is a superstar, beloved by everyone from U.S. presidents to celebrities to average joes — a life-changing communication device. It is a dream come true until shady business deals, infighting and most damaging Steve Jobs and the iPhone combine to bring it crashing down.

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Today (2.17.23) is the fourth anniversary of Hollywood Elsewhere’s worst physical injury episode…actually the worst of my entire life. I slipped and fell and bruised the shit out of my rib cage. It happened on Sunday, 2.17.19 in the Sierra Nevada foothills, a 20-minute drive out of Lone Pine. It was my fault for wearing Italian suede lace-ups as I walked down a gentle slope covered by icy, fresh-fallen snow.

When I was nine or ten years old a friend and I had lugged a large boulder to the top of my parents’ backyard garage. (I think we wanted to drop it off and maybe crush something below.) The garage roof was shingled and slightly peaked. I can’t explain what happened precisely, but I somehow managed to fall off the roof and the boulder, insanely, rolled off a few seconds later and landed on my upper thigh. I howled and cried; it hurt like a sonavubitch and left an awful purple bruise. But later that day I was kind of hobbling around; I’d almost forgotten about it by the end of the week.

But the Sierra foothills tragedy dropped me into a pit of hurt and grief for a good four or five weeks. Oxycodone, walking with a cane, wearing a chest-wrap device. Just getting out of bed in the morning was awful.